How Harry lost his virginity

[SnottyLottie]

Harry described losing his virginity as "a humiliating episode with an older lady".

He said it was "with an older lady, who loved horses very much and treated me like a young stallion".

The excerpt read: "'I mounted her quickly, after which she spanked my ass and held me back… one of my mistakes was letting it happen in a field, just behind a busy pub. No doubt someone had seen us'."

source: Sky News

well I don’t even know what to make of that 😬🤭😆🤣

See I'm really torn on this theory because let's be honest if that's what was translated the first thought from the journalists at all the papers would be the same as most of us

"nah that can't be real you must have translated it wrong" so surely then they would ensure that it was properly checked by someone fluent in Spanish before publishing.

The fact they published such random extracts and there are multiple different wtf ones which has been published actually leads me more towards it being an accurate translation.

I'm happy to be proven wrong though if nothing else for his poor kids sake who will eventually be old enough to read this nonsense.

I wonder how the leak happened? Human error?

My entirely unedicated guess.... They (publishers) deliberately leaked a couple of stories this morning. The ones about William pushing him. The Spainish store saw the news and assumed it mean the book had been released and so some poor sod panicked and stuck it out for sale. Someone's had the business sense to buy a few copies and sell them to newspapers.

'scuse typoes - the dog is insisting on laying on my lap, making typing difficult!

I was snipped as a baby

What do you call the useless bit of skin at the end of a penis?

Ahh, sometimes the old ones are the best.

That was a good read. I think it must be 50 years since I read it, I must see if they have it in the library.

Sadism!

😂😂I'm dying here!

This really has made a crap day great🤣

I can't believe I had no intention of going near this book but now.... 🤔

Hang on, if Harry mounted her (presumably from behind) then how could she simultaneously spank his arse? Does anyone have a diagram?

🤣🤣

🎶 We'd like to know a little bit about you for our files...not that much!!!

😂😂😂

What planet is he on? He has really lost the plot. Why does he think any of us are interested in this! Not surprised William smacked him.

but another cause was sadism
God I need to do some pelvic floor exercises

Harry should read it to learn how a brilliant autobiography should be.

Don’t waste your money, it’ll all be in the public domain the day it’s released.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 happy days

David Niven's The Moon's a Balloon is worth a read.

@TheRedLip , he mounted (fucked0 her, and afterwards she spanked his ass and sent him on his way.

The follow up was good as well, Bring on the Empty Horses if I remember correctly.

🎶 Every way you look at this, you lose....

Why on earth does he think anyone needs to know that? Definitely comes into the realm of TMI.

I was thinking Doris 😁

He recalls: 'When I got to my partner and good friend Ahmed Raza Kahn, a Pakistani, I said, ''Ah, our little P* friend.'''
He added: 'And I didn't know anything about unconscious biases either. I was twenty-one years old, I had grown isolated from the real world and wrapped in privilege, and I believed that word was the same as 'Yankee.' Harmless.'

Sorry to derail the thread slightly, but does our H take any self-responsibility?

😂

Well I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m fully here for this, to my total surprise. In the words of the great Pamela / Camilla:

Wow some of you are snobs. Why shouldn't he tell the truth about his own sexual experiences? It's his biography, and is about his experiences. He's just a human and I think he's well aware of the fact and wants others to know it too. I've got a lot of respect for him.