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How Harry lost his virginity

1000 replies

SnottyLottie · 05/01/2023 16:46

Harry described losing his virginity as "a humiliating episode with an older lady".

He said it was "with an older lady, who loved horses very much and treated me like a young stallion".

The excerpt read: "'I mounted her quickly, after which she spanked my ass and held me back… one of my mistakes was letting it happen in a field, just behind a busy pub. No doubt someone had seen us'."

source: Sky News

well I don’t even know what to make of that 😬🤭😆🤣

OP posts:
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HaroldsHorseyLady · 05/01/2023 18:48

Harry: my father was a tampon.
Archie: my father was a stallion in a field behind the pub.

BornBlonde · 05/01/2023 18:49

Cannot be Katie Price she would have sold the story to this YEARS ago!

My guess is some horsey loving aristo who runs in their circles. A Tara Palmer T type

BornBlonde · 05/01/2023 18:50

HaroldsHorseyLady · 05/01/2023 18:48

Harry: my father was a tampon.
Archie: my father was a stallion in a field behind the pub.

@HaroldsHorseyLady brilliant comment

🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎

Georgeskitchen · 05/01/2023 18:50

NeverGonnaNot · 05/01/2023 16:55

Presumably Meghan knows all this?

She does now 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Rolypops · 05/01/2023 18:50

crabbyapples · 05/01/2023 18:46

“My penis was a matter of public record, and indeed some public curiosity,” Harry writes. “The press had written about it extensively. There were countless stories in books, and papers (even The New York Times) about Willy and me not being circumcised.”
He adds, “Mummy had forbidden it, they all said, and while it’s absolutely true that the chance of getting penile frostbite is much greater if you’re not circumcised, all the stories were false. I was snipped as a baby.”
Harry had been discussing how his penis was “frostnipped” during his trip to Antarctica prior to William’s wedding to Kate Middleton.
“The pre-wedding dinner was pleasant, jolly, despite Willy visibly suffering from standard groom jitters,” he says. “I regaled the company with tales of the [South] Pole. Pa was very interested and sympathetic about the discomfort of my frostnipped ears and cheeks, and it was an effort not to overshare and tell him also about my equally tender penis.

Why would you tell the future King of England about your frozen knob at a pre-dinner for one of the biggest weddings of the century 😂 This is the funniest thing I have ever read in my life.

bagheera92 · 05/01/2023 18:50

Hope it wasn't Katie price

Bugeyedowl · 05/01/2023 18:52

ZooMount · 05/01/2023 17:14

This can't be true surely omg he's actually lost the plot. Now I know Meghan is just in it for fame, letting him carry on like this!

Of course. Way to blame Meghan🙄

ReneBumsWombats · 05/01/2023 18:52

Georgeskitchen · 05/01/2023 18:50

She does now 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Show quote history

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Oh my God, I needed this.

WingingItSince1973 · 05/01/2023 18:52

I bet it wasn't behind a Wetherspoons. The boy must have some standards!

ReneBumsWombats · 05/01/2023 18:52

HaroldsHorseyLady · 05/01/2023 18:48

Harry: my father was a tampon.
Archie: my father was a stallion in a field behind the pub.

Stop...stop....you're killing me...

Choconut · 05/01/2023 18:54

HolliDays · 05/01/2023 18:23

Wasn't it quite well known that maybe the lady might have perhaps been the late TPT?

That would make the most sense to me. There was cocaine involved I believe (she was known for it) and would he be so disparaging about someone who was still alive and could come back with far worse to say about the 'romp'?

The papers would have a field day tracking them down surely.

garlicandsapphires · 05/01/2023 18:54

I think lots of it MUST be lost in translation, and that’s why it’s sounding so outlandish.
I’m sure the original version will be totally different. Confused

Ariautec · 05/01/2023 18:54

Can't honestly be real!

I'm pinning my hopes on something lost in translation from the Spanish version.....

CliffsofMohair · 05/01/2023 18:55

Placcyboel · 05/01/2023 17:36

He definitely needs some specialised insurance/protection for his arse. What with the after sex spanking and dog bowl splintering.

Dying 😂

JustMerkinYourChain · 05/01/2023 18:55

Rolypops · 05/01/2023 18:41

They should get the puppet to read the whole thing on stage like Fleabag.

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Praying for this!

Gandalfsdaughter · 05/01/2023 18:56

Who is TPT??

trulyunruly01 · 05/01/2023 18:56

So he won't tell his dad that he's got a sore willy but he'll tell the world that his idea of foreplay is mounting (a term which I find rather misogynistic so stick that in your wokepipe H).
Boy needs help, pronto.

carouselofsquirells · 05/01/2023 18:56

HaroldsHorseyLady · 05/01/2023 18:48

Harry: my father was a tampon.
Archie: my father was a stallion in a field behind the pub.

A stallion or Ginger snap?

How Harry lost his virginity
JustMerkinYourChain · 05/01/2023 18:58

ReneBumsWombats · 05/01/2023 18:48

Coo coo ca choo, Mrs Robinson, our nation turns its lonely eyes to you....

Show quote history

😂 🎶 ‘Hide it in a hiding place where no one ever goes’ 🎶

Choconut · 05/01/2023 18:58

Rolypops · 05/01/2023 18:50

Why would you tell the future King of England about your frozen knob at a pre-dinner for one of the biggest weddings of the century 😂 This is the funniest thing I have ever read in my life.

Show quote history

No, no no, he couldn't quite bring himself to tell his dad about his frozen knob. He chose to wait and tell the whole world instead. For cash.

picnicshicnic · 05/01/2023 18:59

Wonder if it was Lady Colin Campbell Grin

JustMerkinYourChain · 05/01/2023 18:59

Well, finally Harry has delivered one of his goals in my eyes, my mental health has improved as a direct result of his work.

ChardonnaysBeastlyCat · 05/01/2023 18:59

Ariautec · 05/01/2023 18:54

Can't honestly be real!

I'm pinning my hopes on something lost in translation from the Spanish version.....

His sanity. Hope it turns up in the English original.

HaroldsHorseyLady · 05/01/2023 19:00

IveShaggedSomeMingers · 05/01/2023 17:15

It wasn't me.

I’d love to see one of those TikTok stitch videos where you get multiple aristo, upper class ladies singing Shaggy’s ‘It wasn’t me’

BellePeppa · 05/01/2023 19:00

Fladdermus · 05/01/2023 18:37

He appears to have forgotten that he is the son of the king and therefore this will be in the public domain forever. In hundreds of years kids will be reading this shite and laughing about him in their history gcse classes.

They’ll make a film about him and call it
The Madness of Prince Harry, a sequel to The Madness of King George.

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