Harry and Meghan -- Why I dislike them BOTH

[PipinwasAuntieMabelsdog]

I keep seeing threads that say everyone who dislikes the Sussexs is based on some form of racism and I wanted to put my view across. I will set the parameters of my points:

1. Meghan absolutely did receive racist coverage from sections of the British media.

1. I believe that there were threats to their safety by far right loons.
2. I believe they were both unhappy as working members of the RF

However...

I still find them both very disingenuous. They highlight and speak up against the racism of others, whilst failing to address Harry's previous and documented racist behaviour. As a Jew I cannot understand how Meghan can just remain silent about her husbands former mistakes. This makes her seem untrustworthy to me and seems like she will put up with anything for money and cache, whilst arguing (rightly) that racism is totally unacceptable. He keeps saying others need to learn and he is right, but he should acknowledge that he too needed to learn, acknowledge the support needed to help others learn and offer that support to others (including his own family, if needed).

Their attitude towards the public also seems 'off' and ungrateful to me and they seem to collocate the press and the public as the same thing. There is a lot of footage of the public support for them before, during and after their wedding. Yet, apparently, they did not want the big public wedding and the 'UK' was racist towards them. Harry particularly understands the 'deal' between the monarchy and the public and ought to have explained this to Meghan, the comments re the wedding on Oprah came across as quite spiteful and tone deaf. Almost like, 'we suffered through the big wedding for the plebs.' Ditto all the strange behaviour around Archie's birth. They could have followed the Tindall's approach if they wanted to avoid press intrusion.

During financial pressures around the world they are still complaining and not acknowledging their wealth and privilege, whilst claiming to give voice to the needs of those living in poverty and suffering. The Africa interview was a prime example for both of them. It just all comes together to make them feel untrustworthy to me, and makes me dislike them. I do not wish them any ill, but I wish they would acknowledge their fortune and live private, useful lives.

Thomas and Samantha, agreed

It's very sad. It seems she was very much loved, but has turned her back on it

So, what does it mean to 'qualify; as 'black'?

I’m dubious about her siblings but her father clearly adored her.

That would apply to Charles and Camilla.

In short - your phenotypical presentation, your cultural presentation and your ancestry. I am speaking out of turn because I am not American and I do not share their history, however due to slavery most black people in the US are of mixed heritage and laws were created in the US to disenfranchise many people post slavery based on their ancestry. This led to many phenotypically white people being reclassified as black if their ancestry was known and led for many of the black community to accept any and all people who were classified as black as a sense of shared community.

These classifications are different in different countries - someone who had a great grandparent who was black and looked phenotypically white like Rachel would be considered white in this country, mixed in my grandparents’ country and black in the US.

This makes how he has behaved since really odd - why would you entertain people who maligned your child and claimed your grandchildren are fake if you adore your child and wish to reconcile?

Yep

As the thread is about Harry and Meghan, I'm quite sure it was those you were referring to. Not Thomas and Samantha. 😂

It is clearly obvious that they all have issues which are not harmonious : TM has issues, MM has issues the siblings have issues and Harry has issues. Going NC is a potential coping strategy, especially if your livelihood depends on you projecting a wholesome image as MMs seems to. I's also go NC within a heartbeat.

OK, to start with I have been taking painkillers for toothache, so my apologies if this isn't very coherent.

So Rachel D chose to present culturally as 'black', didn't have black ancestry or a physical phenotype?

Meghan does have black ancestry, but physical phenotype and cultural presentation not 'black'?

Rachel D is vilified as 'appropriating' 'blackness', and Meghan is hero of anti-racism?

It's fascinating. It does highlight that 'race' is a social construct - but one with real life consequences. DD was called a n**r by a random stranger (adult male) for no reason on the bus on the way to school. And was excluded from her ballet class because another parent (presumably spending more money than I could afford) complained about her - for no obvious reason except the colour of her skin.

But that doesn't mean any criticism of someone who is black is automatically racist. Maybe their behaviour justifies the criticism. DD is supposed to be responsible for loading and unloading the dishwasher - of course, she goes through phases of avoiding it. And it drives me up the wall. Not because she is black, but because that is her one contribution to the house and she avoids it!

I adore my kids, but can still recognise their mis-steps.

Do you think Thomas agreeing with people for example claiming that Meghan’s children are either fake or not hers is recognising her mis-steps?

Bat-shit crazy isn't a competition 😂

I guess he’s an old man in poor health who doesn’t want to be completely alone.

Why is he completely alone? Why don't his adult grandchildren want anything to do with him?

What does that mean?

And yet H&M seem to be very isolated from their families?

Have they complained of being lonely? They might have a constant stream of visitors for all we know. Eugenie visited. They could prefer being in their own with the.kids and Doris .

They haven't. That was in response to your post about 'why is TM alone'?

For all any of us know they are having a lovely time surrounded by their new friends and don't miss their families at all.

He doesn’t have a relationship with some of his other grandchildren. He appears to have upset more than his daughter - why should his youngest daughter and his youngest daughter alone give him a relationship with her children when none of his other children are held to that standard?

Yes that was in response to @Gilmorehill saying Thomas was lonely.

I cut my parents off for years when I was younger. Then learned to forgive, and my life (and DD's life) has been better for it. Luckily none of us are in the public eye, and have any monetary value in our relationships,

I don’t think it’s up to anyone else to decide what someone’s boundaries should be or who they should have in their life or their children’s. Sometimes it works out and that’s great, sometimes though, it doesn’t. If it’s not your family, you can’t really know.

I got the impression that he kind of ditched the gruesome twosome and genuinely doted exclusively on Meghan from the moment she was born and indulged her obsessively and unhealthily. His 'loss' of a daughter gives off very similar vibes to the loss of a prized work of art that was stolen or a rare breed of cat which escaped his clutches. He was deeply in awe of her in an unhealthy way and is wounded and confused. I wouldn't really consider it a healthy father-daughter dynamic.