The adventures of Newerboy

[Lanaorana2]

I've got a Siamese cat. He was abandoned by his owner and is living in state - three nests made by neighbours - in our garden. He is absolutely beautiful, aged 11, and a white/cream colour, brown eyes I think. So far we have blinked at each other, me flat on face behind bush in garden.

The lady who feeds him is going away for 6 weeks. She is in a royal state of anxiety so I stepped in. Have been trained to do the feeding, leg massage, etc.

His history is shameful. He has been coming to us for food for ages, finally taken to Battersea, where his so-called owner collected him in 90 minutes. Then left him to starve. So you see I can't not.

Any words of wisdom? I need them.

She needs you and Olli, not least for Sunday Snuggles.

NB ate supper yesterday. Caretaker is on his traditional weekly afternoon off asleep beneath his own two cats.

Nothing like throwing up - and having it cleaned up - to make you feel right at home.

Hush
I honestly have never seen a cat so hungry

Have you checked out whether she was neutered or not?

Nope. I did however hear a dog barking at what I think is her house which is new. Maybe that explains the visits

You need to visit them........

Mr C has asked me to open the balcony door. Then shut it. Then reopen it, then shut it. On repeat, Is he having the menopause?

Sunday grooming, prep for week of sartorial challenges.

C We're english we don't go round and sort it out like you scots, we skirt around issues & bitch behind each other's backs.

L Think of it as a feline upper body workout.

Mr C has sorted you, Lana - I take it you did open the door as requested? - so now he's sorting himself.

F . Have you told asbo that?

Oh shit the cats Scottish.

Great, he can get you EU passports after Brexit.

O is playing hide and seek with himself in the box. With a jingly bell ball
Cheap thrills...

You have no imagination, Ollivander! (He's daringly hunted it down and finally, having trapped it in the 'cave', he's now terrorising it prior to despatch.) You'll have to remove it shortly.

He's abandoned the ball for my pen. Much more fun as you can pick it up with your claw and launch it

Also, Ollie, hunt?

As I said. Imagination!

PS - he's likely abandoned the ball because it's now been terrorised enough to ignore. This is your cue to 'rescue' it.

I'll wait and see if he starts playing again. He's sat on my shoulder like a parrot, watching SAS who dares wins with me

Mr C has a little hunt now and then, generally my feet in the night. Pboy is soaraway winner of the Hunting Trophy 2018 - have any mice turned up?

It is so good for him to play so happily, particularly when ignoring you in pursuit of big game

Now the Xmas break is over, I am going to commission Alan Maintenance, the owner of repair company that does the flats, to build NB's home. 97 bits remain 'spare'. There is no longer 'spare' gin.

Also, the house sort of counts as 'accommodation on the estate', or that's what I'll be informing him. If he puts NB down as a tenant, it's cheaper. :)

I found one - it's now lost again.

Just a point to remember. PBoy's climbing frame thingy was German. And they had the precise number of pieces. (Including screws.) Those people on the board who averred that there might be a few more screws than needed were WRONG. Precision is clearly all.

I suspect that my problem was that I didn't drink schnapps with the assembly. I reckon that you have to imbibe a 'home' liquor to fit.

Have you got Poundland or similar locally? You can get five mice for a quid.

I'm not sure of the right liquor - meths springs to mind :)

(He's quite particular about the type of mice he'll play with. It appears to be mid-brown mice at the moment.)