The adventures of Newerboy

[Lanaorana2]

I've got a Siamese cat. He was abandoned by his owner and is living in state - three nests made by neighbours - in our garden. He is absolutely beautiful, aged 11, and a white/cream colour, brown eyes I think. So far we have blinked at each other, me flat on face behind bush in garden.

The lady who feeds him is going away for 6 weeks. She is in a royal state of anxiety so I stepped in. Have been trained to do the feeding, leg massage, etc.

His history is shameful. He has been coming to us for food for ages, finally taken to Battersea, where his so-called owner collected him in 90 minutes. Then left him to starve. So you see I can't not.

Any words of wisdom? I need them.

I think that your adultery has been - if not discovered, then at least sensed.

I agree.In a rare new twist for the Relationships board, I am being forced to have an affair. NB loathes me.

I wish Mr C would understand. Little pumpkin, he is my life. How can someone so small and sweet-looking be such a curmudgeon?

Maybe the caretaker will take him home?

Mr C has proper Bengal ears.

Asbo can go from fast asleep to wide awake the minute he hears Dh talking to next doors cat on the pavement. They just know these things.

Great picture! One for next year calendar?

Oh, our editorial board has already started its wishlist for 2019. :)

How is PBoy today?

Maybe Mr C has Bengal in him. He is large and a bit of a talker. I would be so proud.

PBoy is rocketing up and down the stairs. (Probably in hot pursuit of one of his brown mice.)

Ollie has found a ball thing that sounds like it has uncooked rice inside it

They're living it large !! You can tell they'd be brilliant NYE party guests. Mr C on the other hand, and I suspect Seniorboy, not so much. It's 1030 and already I've been hassled to go warm up the bed. Asbo would arrive and lean lazily up against the door with a v expensive bottle of spirits, all the ladies purring excitedly in the kitchen. :)

I suspect Ollie would be asleep on someone's lap by 9pm

Fluffy's DH would be blearily bailing asbo and Pboy by 4am for events the tight-lipped police officer would refer to as 'youthful high spirits'. Having turned all the statues of local dignitaries into cats by giving each a pair of plastic cones for ears, both our heroes are continuing to party in the cells.

DH drops unrepentant asbo at home, who rolls into bed snatching the still-warm pillow, and sets off on the long drive to get Pboy safe home.

Pboy, who was let off with a caution, is sick Country Hunter in a plastic bag on the back seat. All the way. After a bit he feels small and sad and wonders how long it will be till he gets home, all nice and warm and safe. He wonders if Cozie will be asleep or awake - he can always sit on the bed next to her till she wakes up. He has a feeling that asking for a hangover cure at 6am might be pushing it. Mind you, it might be LW. He falls asleep happily.

laughing a lot. I think Ollie has been at the gin, not a clue what he's doing

Asbo would arrive and lean lazily up against the door with a v expensive bottle of spirits, all the ladies purring excitedly in the kitchen

Obie would be rival :)

That's The Lodger through and through.

PBoy has come to sit on the bed again.

Fiction tells the truth...

I've just been sat watching Harry Potter and vaguely wondering what the clattering noise was. That would be Balls, sat on the worktop eating my omelette

How did he get in?

Window. Ollie is in the hallway glaring, balls is under the spare bed hiding. I'm going for a shower, they can work it out themselves

< emerges from shower muttering about bloody cats >

Where's Ollie?

Fast asleep in his bed

So they 'worked it out' then?

Apparently so...

HNY Balls

So Ollivander will be name changing to TwoCats?