Heartache after saying goodbye- support thread

[Helplessandheartbroke]

I'm in agony after losing our boy 2.5 weeks ago. I had another thread deleted as it was too outing but realised quickly there's many of us suffering. Anyone want to join hands?

Just having a tea break.
I'm frankly humbled by how some of you are dealing with so many things in addition to losing your beloved pets.

There's a piece in the Times today by someone mourning the death of her cat. I don't know if it'll be of help to anyone here or not.

www.thetimes.co.uk/article/f58b21b2-0462-494e-a218-7e7f92e06322?shareToken=4fce412fd14669c1caf2c580b89bc4c7

Meanwhile I'm being entertained by a couple of male pheasants strutting their stuff in the back garden, occasionally looking hopefully at the seed tray which they and the many blackbirds have already emptied. The problem is if I go out to put down some more seed they'll doubtless be alarmed and flap off squawking.

@ErrolTheDragon I'll have a look thank you. How are you? Is dh home this week? Love pheasants! We had one on our door step at the caravan we stayed in last year like he was knocking!

I think losing a pet for a lot on here is the tip of the iceberg. I know that's how it felt for me and after some of the lovely and brave women sharing their experiences ❤

DH will hopefully be back on Wednesday and the end finally seems to be in sight of the thing he's been dealing with.

@ErrolTheDragon that's good to hear you must get fed up when he's away a lot. I did when dh worked in London.

@Work2live @miamiamia869 how are you?

And anyone else still on?

I'm here !

Very productive days work today so little less stressed . Got an appointment in morning for my knackered knees which are now more knackered after my fall!

I can't feel one - I've no feeling in the skin at all and yet inside it feels itchy ! So weird ! The fall hasn't helped . Keep trying to work out how it happened and just can't ! One minute I was walking the next the world was upside down 😂.

Feeling a bit bad I can't walk my little fella but need my knees to heal . He's a distraction though and that's good - house still feels really different without my big bear . I keep looking at his casket - can't decide if I should pop him in a cupboard for now or keep him on the windowsill. Hurts to see . But then I don't want to hide him away and forget . And it's a beautiful casket . Just can't believe a 51kg dog is now in a little box 🥲 twice I've thought I heard him which is weird . I do hope he does visit though . I'd like that .

How's everyone else doing today ? X

@capabilityfrowns how do you function enough to work after being up all night? Ds had me up at 5am and I'm flagging. Glad you're getting checked out. Whens your mri?

I've had enough. No sleep and my thoughts 24/7 it's literally driving me insane! I spoke to my sister earlier about dare I say the cysts... she told me her horse had an Abbess she should have bathed but didn't. She loves that horse like I loved my dog so it made me realise none of us are perfect.

No one is perfect. We're human .

My work is particularly flexible with me which I'm grateful for. I can basically choose my hours for which I realise I'm very fortunate! They know I aren't well though and I have occy health backing.

My MRI is Saturday. Have appointment tomorrow for my joints and then my eye on Thursday- Saturday evening my MRI. Busy week and it will exhaust me .

Sorry I didn't reply about big bears ashes. You do what's right for you. Would it help to scatter him?

That's good about work. My boss keeps telling me to take time off but I can't afford to.

You have got a busy week but I'm glad you're getting everything checked!

I know we're human and my worry/obsession is trivial I just feel like a horrible lazy person!

If anyone is a crap
Dog mum it's me at min . Luckily I'm in charge of a terrier not a bit
Bouncy breed .

I do t think I want to
Scatter his ashes .....I want him near just now and id worry if I moved away . When I retire if I'm mobile my plan is
To
Buy a nice mobile
Home , take the terrier and bugger off round the world . Just me and the dog .

@capabilityfrowns you're not a crap dog mum you're in pain! Because the vet wasn't concerned and didn't prescribe anything we were concerned. A regret I will have to live with!

That sounds amazing. When are you due to retire? Where have you booked for September?

With the current weather many dogs will be very happy to stay inside!

Deciding what to do with ashes - whether pets or parents! - is a very personal matter. I think for us, scattering in the 'bouncing grass field' was a bit of a 'circle of life' thing, and it's somewhere we walk once in a while. Possibly the only thing to really avoid is burying in your own garden if you're at all likely to move.

@ErrolTheDragon agreed on all points! My ddog mostly had short walks in this weather just a stretch your legs type. I've still got our boys ashes in the cardboard box (in a tube inside the cardboard box) I talk to the box and it brings me some comfort.

I went the whole hog and paid for a mahogany wooden box with brass plaque..... I can't part with him just yet .

September I am going 10 days all inclusive to a beautiful 5 star resort in side , turkey .

I've tried to add my best mate today to come with me but they say they can't do it - something about restrictions on the hotel but to keep
Trying

Now I don't mind being alone but it would be nicer I feel if my friend came . Either or . I'll either be basking in solitude sun and a few bevvies or I'll be having a laugh with my best friend - one or the other !

@capabilityfrowns I stayed in side last May at a 5 star. It was called... kamelya aishen k club or something similar. Its gorgeous didn't need to leave the hotel. I hope you can add your friend on for some company. If not you'll meet people :) no need to ever part with big bear if you don't want to x

Thank you

I'm actually starting to look forward to the hol either way - not been on holiday for 6 years so it's about time!

Never been away on my own tho - I decided to get my big girl pants on !

@capabilityfrowns if youre in the hotel we were or similar you won't feel lonely at all. Really pleased for you booking it, it's a huge step from how you've been struggling.

Having never heard of this place in Turkey before, I was momentarily puzzled why you two were staying inside ...

🤣🤣 that made me smile for the first time in hours! I kept pronouncing it like a true brit too but it's pronounced sid ey but altogether lol

😂😂. Pronounced "see-day " but yes ! I get it 😂. Made me lol

I can honestly say my heart gave me physical pain the day and days after we said goodbye
Peacefully at home but far too soon
It actually hurt my body 🥲
Sending love x

@ErrolTheDragon haha thank you for making me chuckle tonight I needed it!

@Thatbloodyhedge I'm so sorry for your loss! Please feel free to share. This group is amazing

Hi ladies, how is everyone today?

Don't ask !

I've fractured my bloody knee when I fell last week .

Feeling guilty as can't walk little
Man .

mRI at weekend .

MRI on brain and spine - see if they can find my brain .....

Something is malfunctioning!