Heartache after saying goodbye- support thread

[Helplessandheartbroke]

I'm in agony after losing our boy 2.5 weeks ago. I had another thread deleted as it was too outing but realised quickly there's many of us suffering. Anyone want to join hands?

@capabilityfrowns no wonder you've been in pain! Can they do anything for a fracture? Don't feel guilty its not your fault. Can you ds walk him at all one day?

Ds lives abroad and dd busy bee with own home etc .

I had a routine osteo appointment this morning and I nearly leapt off the table when she touched it - I'm now the proud owner of a walking stick . 2 years ago I was fit and active and now I'm buggered!

Oh no, what rotten luck.
Is there anyone else who can give Little Man an airing?

I feel you! 2 years ago I was happy!

Walking stick won't be for long hopefully. Do you have a garden?

@miamiamia869 @Iheartmysmart @Memba @Work2live how are you all getting on?

@Helplessandheartbroke How odd, I was just thinking of you and the others on this thread.

How are you coping? Sorry, I’ve got quite a few pages to catch up on so am a bit out of the loop!

I went to see another little dog but didn’t gel with him. The rescue centre were very honest and I think he would have been too much for me at the minute. My old boy was so good. He loved everything and everybody, I could leave him for a few hours and know he would be fine - the perfect dog really. I can’t replace him I know but I don’t want to take on a dog with huge issues and make myself miserable.

@Iheartmysmart thanks for responding. I'd worried I had derailed a little with the guilt I'd been feeling lately.

I hear exactly what you mean. My ddog was exactly the same! Such an easy temperament. Could be left if we went out as long as he was walked and fed and loved everyone. Probably why our losses have been so difficult. You will find a new companion but you mustn't compare as like you said you're not replacing your boy.

Have you managed to get out for walks etc? You had a bit of cabin fever last time if I remember right?

Oh gosh no, not at all. I get what you mean about guilt. I keep thinking should I have noticed sooner that my boy was poorly. But he was so bloody stoic and never showed any signs of pain, it wasn’t until he stopped eating that I knew how ill he was. His little tail never stopped wagging the whole time.

I think you are right. Mine was such a bugger as a pup but he grew into the most easy going dog. Always up for an adventure but happy to snooze by me if I was busy.

i have been out most days. One memorable walk was to the supermarket which turned out to be a lot further away than I remembered! DS is back again for a few days so keeping him fed will occupy me for the next week.

@Iheartmysmart I'm sorry you're feeling the guilt too! It's sickening isn't it. Mine isn't even about what he was pts for its about not getting round the bathing his cysts! Unrelated!

Glad you've been getting out and that ds is home for some company!

@Helplessandheartbroke thank you for checking in. I am doing okay. Feel slightly better this week but still thinking of him all the time. We had a sympathy card through from the vets which was nice. How are you? X

@miamiamia869 that's great to hear! I needed some positivity. That's nice of the vets too!

You'll be sorry you asked! I've been crying for about 30 mins blaming myself and thinking it's karma because it's my fault ddog died then I can't get ds in a school and got a flat tyre this morning. I'm absolutely torturing myself. Keep thinking back to was it this or that which caused it. I don't know how to move on.

Your dog died because he had glaucoma. 100% not your fault.

You cant get your DS into a suitable school because - I would think - there's insufficient provision for kids with special needs (in some places not enough provision full stop). 100% not your fault.

No idea about the flat tyre though!

@Helplessandheartbroke @ErrolTheDragon is totally right, it is not your fault. I know it's so hard not to think that way.
Sounds like you are having a horrible day if you find time take some time to just sit on the sofa and eat some biscuits and be with your feelings. Feel them all cry it out cry some more and then tick of one small task ghe next day and take it step at the time.

Oh @Helplessandheartbroke I’m so sorry you’re having a rubbish day. Absolutely none of this is your fault though. Flat tyres are a bugger and an inconvenience but they happen. Not because of anything you’ve done or not done.

If your area is anything like mine then school places are like hens teeth. Again not your fault.

Your beloved dog was ill, you did your absolute best for him and should be incredibly proud of yourself. Don’t beat yourself up for things you have no control over.

Cup of tea, some biscuits and a bloody good cry is what you should do. And keep coming back here for support.

Thank you all I really appreciate it. I'm really trying to sort myself out as this isn't good for anyone! How are you all?

Is anyone emotionally free for a pm? Don't worry if not x

Me? X
Never had a pm before so no idea x
Hope you are ok x

Hey @Thatbloodyhedge are you joining as you've lost a beloved pet?

Absolutely
I did comment much further down the thread,
It's been two years now since I lost my Fleur
I still cry
I still have moments
But that's ok
Hope you are holding up as it's the worst pain ever xx

@Thatbloodyhedge sorry must have missed your post! I'm really struggling. I'm beating myself up big time over all the things I did wrong with ddog and now I can't make things right :(

I'm sorry you're still struggling. It's the worst grief I've ever felt!

You did nothing wrong apart from love too much.
You did absolutely the right thing as did I ( cancer)
Took me ages to come to terms with it as Fleur was absolutely my 3rd limb
I can finally smile when I look at the scrap book my eldest lad and his wonderful girlfriend did for me xx

@Thatbloodyhedge my ocd takes me to all the negatives like feeding him the wrong food, not letting him sniff as much as he wanted to when out because I was in a rush, not grooming his as much etc etc. I can't see all the positives I did for him through the negatives and it's eating me up. I know noones perfect but I wish I was more perfect for him 😢

A scrap book is a lovely and thoughtful idea. How old was fleur?

You did good xx
I too feel guilty for giving her a drug that eased her permanent allergies but may have given her cancer 😢
Believe me I tried everything
She was the most beautiful lady and I'll never forget her
She was itch free tho so I hold on to that 😊xx

She was 2 days off her 8th birthday x

@Thatbloodyhedge that's down to the vet not you! My struggles are around my choices and things I should have done differently. I feel like the worse human ever!

Awww was she a pug? Is that you with her in the pic?