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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Original poster

I don't want my dog

239 replies

Notthisdog · 26/01/2016 14:22

DP gave me a dog as a surprise birthday present in October. I've tried my best to love him and train him but there's always a nagging thought in the back of my mind that I don't really want him and I'm not sure what to do.

He is a good dog but he is not what I would have chosen for myself, the breed and gender are wrong for me.
The problem is, I would like a dog but just not him.

What do I do? The way I see it I've got 2 options. I can swallow my pride and admit it out loud, find him a new home and find a dog I would like in replacement.

Or I can carry on for another 15 years pretending to love him but really I'm only tolerating him.

Please don't judge me too harshly.

OP posts:
BombadierFritz · 26/01/2016 14:28

You would probably also find fault with a new dog, even if breed and gender were right. I say that because i've never really met a dog lover who would give up a dog because they didnt like the breed or sex. Have you had dogs before?
Either keep or rehome, but dont get a new one.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 26/01/2016 14:30

Hmm, I think if you can't give this one a loving home, maybe your designer dog would end up not being right either for one reason or another.

coffeeisnectar · 26/01/2016 14:31

What's wrong with him? Surely a dog is a dog? It's their personality and the love they give you that makes them loveable not what breed or sex it is.

I don't have a dog. I have cats. They all have very different personalities and each is adored for the animal it is, not what colour or shape it is.

I find this post a bit odd. I agree, don't get another dog.

WaitrosePigeon · 26/01/2016 14:31

Poor dog

Original poster
Notthisdog · 26/01/2016 14:32

This is my second dog. My first dog died very shortly after I got her, we decided to wait a while to start again but then DP turned up with the surprise. He is totally different to everything we've ever discussed about dogs.

I have 3 boys already, I'm sick of the testosterone. I know it's not the dogs fault and I don't ever make him feel unwelcome.

OP posts:
Costacoffeeplease · 26/01/2016 14:34

I'd rehome him, responsibly (not just give him away to randoms) and never have another dog again - you obviously aren't a real dog person - poor dog

shutupandshop · 26/01/2016 14:35

I wouldn't get another dog. You don't soybd like a doggy person tbh. I'm not, I have cats.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 26/01/2016 14:35

You are too cold about it OP. You don't sound much of a dog lover.

financialwizard · 26/01/2016 14:36

Maybe it's too soon as opposed to the dog iyswim.

I think you should persevere if I am honest. Give yourself a deadline and if you're still unhappy then rehome properly.

Buttercup27 · 26/01/2016 14:36

I think this is why animal's don't make good presents.
I'm not going to flame you as I understand. If you had bought/rehomed the dog yourself you would have met him, got to know him and decide if the personality was a good match for you. But because he was a present, you didn't get the opportunity, he was thrust upon you, with no thought about what you actually wanted.
I really don't know what I would do in your position. As a dog lover I really don't think I could justify rehousing just to replace.

Wolfiefan · 26/01/2016 14:36

Poor dog.
If you plan to rehome then please go through a reputable route rather than sticking him on a website.
Thank god none of your children were the wrong gender or had the wrong hair/characteristics. Would you give them up?
Sounds like you are maybe not recovered from losing your dog. Or you just shouldn't have a dog in future.

Owllady · 26/01/2016 14:36

3 sons or 3 boy dogs?
Is there really that much difference between a male and a female dog?

WildeWoman · 26/01/2016 14:37

I disagree with posters saying that you wouldn't like another dog. That's why re-homing charities etc. try to match the dog to the person/home/household. In terms of size/temperament etc.

If someone came to me with a great big walloping German shepherd, I would not want the dog. If someone gave me a cute little lapdog, I would want the dog.

Alisvolatpropiis · 26/01/2016 14:37

Rehome the dog, don't get another.

HTH

Toots16 · 26/01/2016 14:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Owllady · 26/01/2016 14:38

And yes, I'd have killed my husband if he turned up with a dog as a present. Thankfully he has a bit more sense

BombadierFritz · 26/01/2016 14:40

Do you know anyone who would take him? If he is pedigree there are specialist rescues for pedigrees that are good at findinh good homes. Otherwise i would keep him as its not much fun in a rescue
Get dh to look after him more. A dog as a Surprise present is such a stupid thing to do

Twooter · 26/01/2016 14:41

Was he a puppy when you got him?
It just that dogs can often take a bit of time to calm down and become that loyal creature by your side.

What breed is he and what had you wanted? There are a few breeds I'm really not into, so would maybe struggle to bond with, although I'd like to think that with time I'd get past that.

Costacoffeeplease · 26/01/2016 14:41

You'd think the message about giving dogs as surprise presents would have got through by now - but no, there's a new idiot along all the time who has no respect for living creatures - it drives me mad every time I see it

Miloarmadillo1 · 26/01/2016 14:43

I'm sorry you are getting flamed, OP. It's your DP who has been an idiot. This is why dogs should never be given as presents. It's not unreasonable to have preferences for the size, breed, temperament etc of dog you want to spend the next 10-15 years with. Is there a breed rescue that could help you find him another home?

Original poster
Notthisdog · 26/01/2016 14:43

3 sons. Maybe I am just going through a 'too many boys in this house' phase, I don't know.
Please don't feel sorry for him, he has a lovely life! I would not rehome unless I felt certain it was the right home for him, I do care for him really.

My children are different so please don't bring them in to it.

His breed just doesn't fit me. I don't know what else to say.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 26/01/2016 14:44

I also agree with the posters saying people should know better than to give animals as gifts.
I want a dog.
I really want a dog.
I want to meet the dog with my immediate family, interact with it and see if we are a match.

Wolfiefan · 26/01/2016 14:44

FFS his breed doesn't fit?
Rehome the dog. Don't get another.

Toughasoldboots · 26/01/2016 14:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sadik · 26/01/2016 14:45

I think it's important to be really objective about what the problem is. I'm utterly soppy about dogs of all shapes and sizes. But just because you can give one dog a good home, it doesn't mean you can offer what any dog needs.

For example, I used to live on a 100 acre farm, now I live in town. Realistically, I wouldn't want to take on another big dog in my life, I certainly wouldn't choose another husky cross, and I'd be reluctant to take on a puppy. If I was faced with a small to medium middle aged / old dog needing a new home, that would be a very different thing.

So if it's about breed/size not fitting in with what you can offer, it might be that actually the best thing for you both is to look for a new home.