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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Original poster

I don't want my dog

239 replies

Notthisdog · 26/01/2016 14:22

DP gave me a dog as a surprise birthday present in October. I've tried my best to love him and train him but there's always a nagging thought in the back of my mind that I don't really want him and I'm not sure what to do.

He is a good dog but he is not what I would have chosen for myself, the breed and gender are wrong for me.
The problem is, I would like a dog but just not him.

What do I do? The way I see it I've got 2 options. I can swallow my pride and admit it out loud, find him a new home and find a dog I would like in replacement.

Or I can carry on for another 15 years pretending to love him but really I'm only tolerating him.

Please don't judge me too harshly.

OP posts:
Toots16 · 26/01/2016 14:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sadik · 26/01/2016 14:46

And I agree with pps who say the basic fault lies with the person who chose to give a dog as a gift!

BombadierFritz · 26/01/2016 14:46

Yes, toughasoldboots, it was the first thing i thought of too

claraschu · 26/01/2016 14:46

I don't know what you should do. Animals should never be presents!

I just want to say that dogs are VERY different from one another, so I can completely imagine loving one dog and not loving another- kind of like people. Breed and sex aren't what make the difference though (for me).

Original poster
Notthisdog · 26/01/2016 14:47

I won't go in to what breed he is as I don't want to out myself any further but he's too much for me. I am giving him everything he needs so he's not deprived but I wanted a much easier breed. I'm aware puppies are never easy but for instance there is a big difference between a Great Dane and a pug.

OP posts:
Costacoffeeplease · 26/01/2016 14:48

I wouldnt say it was a stupid thing to do

It is THE MOST ridiculously stupid thing to do - don't go giving anyone the impression it is in any way acceptable - it's fucking irresponsible and idiotic

Owllady · 26/01/2016 14:50

So is it a high energy, intelligence breed? Could you do other stuff with him? Agility etc or don't you have time?
Can your husband do stuff with him, seeing as he's the one that bought him?

lunar1 · 26/01/2016 14:53

If you regime the dog then you really shouldn't have another. I do agree that you husband is an idiot though.

WildeWoman · 26/01/2016 14:56

Definitely rehome the dog. He may be just exactly what somebody else is looking for.

Then, give your hubby a great big rattle around the ear-lug. Grin

I have a friend who was given a gorgeous but BIG golden retriever as a gift (he was a very cute puppy at the time of course).

She is THE most responsible dog owner I have personally ever come across - dog is walked/ran for a couple of hours a day, holidays arranged to accomodate dog etc. etc., but my God does she still want to murder the gift-giver.

Toots16 · 26/01/2016 14:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Kreacherelf · 26/01/2016 15:02

I have sympathy Op. I love cats, every cat I've ever met... Except for my boyfriends... And I have no idea why! She's a lovely cat, but just too clingy and dependent. She never leaves me alone when I'm round!

Like you, I do take good care of her, but she will never be a cat that I love. I just can't lie to myself!

Costacoffeeplease · 26/01/2016 15:03

Give it up toots a surprise pet as a present is always stupid, idiotic and irresponsible - always

Costacoffeeplease · 26/01/2016 15:06

In fact, I'd ban anyone who gave an animal as a surprise present, for life, from ever owning a pet again - that's how strongly I feel about it

Twitterqueen · 26/01/2016 15:08

OP, how would you feel if he wasn't 'your' dog anymore, but your husband's?
I'm wondering if part of the problem is that your DH gave him to you but you don't really want him.

If you give him back, and put the onus of care, walks, love, play etc onto your DH and DCs, would that help? Then maybe you could enjoy the good bits and make everything else their responsibility?

SnookyWookyWooWoo · 26/01/2016 15:10

100% agree with what previous posters are saying here. You should rehome if you feel this way.

I have recently rehomed my dog (who Id had for 7 years) as I could not cope with him. This was not the fault of the dog or my dh - he was my dog and I got him pre kids when I had bags of time on my hands, and I stupidly didn't research the breed.

I love him to bits, miss him so much, but my life was a misery, and worse than that - his life was a misery. He didn't trust children and nipped my son numerous times, and I was heavily pregnant when I eventually had him rehomed him.

I was lucky I found a wonderful couple who keep in touch with me and send me updates and pictures. He now lives a fantastic life. I suspect even if your dog is never made to feel 'unwelcome', you probably still project some level of negativity toward him without knowing. I think if you don't love him like a family member now you probably never will.

Do the right thing by him and find him a lovely family who will spoil and dote on him. Just make sure you go and see exactly where he will live first and make sure you trust the new owners.

I would probably agree also that you shouldn't ever get a dog if you feel this way - owning a pet is such a huge responsibility and isn't something you should be on the fence with.

Good luck OP this clearly is not your fault

DaggerEyes · 26/01/2016 15:14

Ok....what if, you got 'your' dog, and kept this one?? Would your dog make the wrong dog less....intense?? If he had a buddy to bother, instead of you?
Just tossing ideas about, but if wrong dog seems happy, seems a shame to upset his life.

Queenbean · 26/01/2016 15:15

I disagree with those saying that a dog is a dog, irrespective of the breed. We always are told on doggy threads about the breed "ohhh don't get that one, so hard to train!"

what is the breed OP? It won't out you

Greyhorses · 26/01/2016 15:17

I can sort of sympathise on the breed front. I am a GSD girl 100% and would be miffed if DP got me anything but a shepherd (he would not as he isn't daft and knows me well)

However, at the end of the day it's not the dogs fault and I would rehome if you don't like it that much, poor thing.

Owllady · 26/01/2016 15:18

I don't agree that a dog is a dog either
There are lots of dog breeds I wouldn't want to own Blush
Where did he get the dog from? Would they take it back?

slebmum1 · 26/01/2016 15:18

Your husband is the one who made the problem really - what does he think? Does most of the soggy care come down to you!

slebmum1 · 26/01/2016 15:18

? Not !

Toots16 · 26/01/2016 15:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Whitney168 · 26/01/2016 15:30

I am an out and out dog lover, but if there were only dogs of a few particular breeds left in the world, I'd never have another. Anyone who doesn't think dogs are very very different has never had much experience with them.

Did your husband buy the dog HE wanted, maybe?

MackerelOfFact · 26/01/2016 15:30

Why did your DH get this particular dog? I do understand about the breed making a difference - if you wanted a Yorkshire Terrier and got a Doberman, those are very different pets with very different personalities and needs. However the sex of a dog makes very little difference to anything.

If he was a puppy when you got him, he's probably hitting the rather unlovable doggy puberty stage which might be affecting your opinion of him right now. If he's fundamentally a nice pet, he should grow out of most of it with training, and you'll end up with a lovely friend for the next 10-15 years.

He's not a coat or a necklace that you can just exchange for one you want.

Floralnomad · 26/01/2016 15:37

I agree that choice of dog is important but I reckon if you are a true dog lover you wouldn't be thinking about rehoming , would your children not be upset if the dog was to be rehomed ? I also don't think if you do rehome that you should get another dog because I think that just teaches your children that animals are disposable items .