I don't want my dog

[Notthisdog]

DP gave me a dog as a surprise birthday present in October. I've tried my best to love him and train him but there's always a nagging thought in the back of my mind that I don't really want him and I'm not sure what to do.

He is a good dog but he is not what I would have chosen for myself, the breed and gender are wrong for me.
The problem is, I would like a dog but just not him.

What do I do? The way I see it I've got 2 options. I can swallow my pride and admit it out loud, find him a new home and find a dog I would like in replacement.

Or I can carry on for another 15 years pretending to love him but really I'm only tolerating him.

Please don't judge me too harshly.

Shmoo mad more like, but thank you, she is an amazing dog. It is always the dog that pays, and it is hard. Honestly though I've made mistakes in the past which other people have ended up paying the price for. I try my best not to, but nobody is perfect.

TheMotherOfHellbeasts: :)
I'll bet that dog would give her life for you. They know, I'm sure.
I honestly try not to be judgmental (far from perfect myself) but I really hurt for dogs in this kind of situation.
I'm glad you did what you did, not every one could but I bet she's repaid you tenfold :)

Shmoo meant to add, my DH nearly bought me a French Bulldog puppy, right when we'd just rescued ddog2 and he was a little demon and he and ddog1 hated each other. Ffs. DH is usually extremely sensible, I have no idea what possessed him, luckily I found out in time.

TheMother Very specific breeds! You're a lucky lady, I've only met 1 CO but he was the most wonderful dog. I've never even seen aFila Brasileiro IRL.

OP you can't help your feelings. I would honestly persevere for now though, puppy & adolescent dogs are a bloody nightmare even if they've been planned & researched for years. For all we know you have your heart set on a Neo & you've been given a Teacup Chihuahua (I've written it thay way rpind because i'm annoyed by the assumption you want a little dog you can 'dress up').

Like others have said im pointing blame more at the giver than the op.
I love dogs, have had dogs all my life including now but honestly my friends maasive drooling mastiff would drive me to the brink. We got a dog that matched our lifestyle for a reason.

I would too be annoyed if I couldn't choose my dog. I've had rescue pets all my life and cherished them but my puppy (only time I've ever had one) was my one indulgent gift that was something just for me. I would have been upset if that was taken away from me

Amazing story, sounds like something from a movie! :) I can just imagine the scene! Hopefully, you taught that vet a very important lesson!

It made me feel better for ddog1's sake. When vets here are unethical they're pretty abominable. DH was annoyed, he said it was childish. Our local police found it hilarious though

horrified at your DH, does he give dpups/animals as christmas presents too!!!

It does and should take a long time to choose the right ddog for each of us, we don't just randomly phone up a random and say i'll have a ddog! we spend, or should do, time and effort looking into what will best suit our family personality household, budget, lifestyle.

I love ddogs, all of them, and would look after many, but there are only certain types that suit us well.

Your DH should be sorting out his crap gifting and take responsibility for what he's done to you and this ddog.

Yeah, it's despicable for a vet to behave in such a way! Could you send some of those police to the UK?! And, high-five your awesome dog for me?! :)

you actually subjected another human being to this assault by a potentially very dangerous dog!? Are you actually insane, or just have no conscience?? oh same thing

Oh How hilarious that must've been when she pissed herself fearing she was dying, thats the funniest thing i've ever heard NOT! FFS thank christ not all police are the same wankers

Shriek, she got a taste of her own medicine. She had a bit of a cheek calling herself a 'vet', don't you think? I wish some of those police would head this way!

I think it was a brave posting and i can't believe some of the replies you've had, which i've only just seen as massively x-posted.

The best thing for the ddog is to be with people that adore it, and you know that you don't feel that way. If its not the ddog for you it will be for someone else, but be very careful where you take it to so its not destroyed or left awaiting a 'new home forever'.

i think someone has to have something missing to set a dog on another human and terrify them in this way... does this in some way make her better than the 'vet'??? nope.

Fucking hell there are some scary people on this thread

This isn't even real right?

well as much as this pains me to say it you would be better rehoming your dog because 15 years is a long time with an animal you dont like .my son went out one night and came back with a colllie puppy i was not happy he was gorgeous but i thought god i will be left with him when everyone at work god he will need a lot of exercise i dont need this .18 months later we are best pals .he is a lot of work .always on the go even tries to jump in the bloody bath with me but i adore him .if you cant give your dog 100% commitment rehome him while he is still young and folk slagging you off does,nt help

Themotherofhellbeasts- I really wish I could somehow get you arrested........

Motherofhellbeasts I would so love to see your ddogs! They sound amazing

If the so called vet had known the slightest thing about dog behaviour she would have known she was being held down in what was a highly controlled situation.
Yes I did find it hilarious, she tortured ddog1 for many months before I could gert to her, and many other animals too, there were numerous other things in her repertoire too. Life is very different here, things are very different.

OP, I'm sorry to derail.

What a ridiculous thread this has become. Half the threads on here are berating people for wanting the wrong breed of dog for their lifestyle, now this one is berating OP for thinking her DP/H made the wrong choice of breed

This section of MN is second only to AIBU sometimes.

^^ I meant half the threads on this part of Mumsnet.

"Half the threads on here are berating people for wanting the wrong breed of dog for their lifestyle, now this one is berating OP for thinking her DP/H made the wrong choice of breed"

It might be completely unsuitable for the OP's lifestyle, but it's quite hard to work that out without knowing any specifics at all, because it might well be that actually there's nothing inherently unsuitable about the dog, but the OP is angry with her OH and so just hasn't taken to it.

Besides which, the difference is that this dog is already living in their home, it's settled and bonded - rehoming a dog isn't an easy thing for a dog to go through, they don't just go, ok, I live here now and this is my new family...it's not something that should just be easy to decide to do, because it's a hugely upsetting and traumatic thing to put a dog through.

If it really is for the best, then yes, that's what should be done, but nobody can really give an opinion on that as the OP hasn't actually said there's an issue other than it not being the breed she would have chosen.