Should I marry a murderer? Netflix

[IAmKerplunk]

Has anyone watched this? I have just finished it. Honestly I feel mixed about Caroline. Don’t want to say too much in case others haven’t finished it.

I remember the story being reported but didn’t know how much else went on in the lead up to the trial.

I've just binged the 3 episodes. I knew about the case but not much about her.

It seems obvious from the outside that she was emotionally reeling from the ending of her long term relationship, that made her vulnerable to the love bombing from Sandy, whether intentional on his part or not.

I wonder how much impact the Covid lockdowns had - it meant she was isolated at a time she needed support. In that respect I can understand her reaching for familiarity.

Seeing the videos of her, hearing the recordings, her poor state of mental health and mania - it's as well it didn't go to trial, I feel the solicitors would have ripped her to shreds as an unreliable witness.

I'm relieved she's in a better place now, and that Tony Parson's family are grateful to her. She could have just ended the relationship and stayed quiet, instead she tried to help get justice over and over.

I think she was under huge pressure mentally and may indeed have been suffering from a preexisting mental illness or had other vulnerabilities that had been there before the relationship with Sandy. Many of her actions are otherwise inexplicable. She did the right thing ultimately but at a huge cost to her own mental wellbeing/mental stability.

Had she been better looked after and properly prepared and supported for trial, I feel the prosecution case would have been much stronger for murder. The prosecutor was at pains to wave away their blatant ignoring of protocols for vulnerable witnesses ‘she’s a Dr/highly intelliegent’ as if there was no other factors that could have made her vulnerable. Infuriating!

Like people who write the misunderstood murderer's in prison who are hard done by, they must have mental health issues to start with

No it's not normal but they only have themselves to blame

I don’t think you can say mentally unwell people only have themselves to blame.

if she doesn’t have a mental health issue then her actions were bizarre but imo it was quite obvious she was vulnerable on probably more than one level.

Watched the first episode last night, it was a massive story up here. I didn't think she came across that well in places, there was something 'off' about her at times. But to be fair she will probably never get over what happened to her. I'm looking forward to the rest of the episodes because there's clearly a lot more to it than has been revealed before.

I don’t think Caroline came across well in places either. She contradicted herself a lot. I think she must have issues before her relationship too with drugs and alcohol. Her parents must have been so worried. Caroline was definitely vulnerable - but some of what she said seemed so strange. The video she shot of herself at the waterfall, after she got pissed and stole a tractor, was very bizarre. The programme didn’t say at the end what she is doing now but I am assuming she didn’t go back to her job?

I watched this yesterday. I’m torn. On the surface yes she was completely erratic and damaged the case in a way which you’d think would be obvious and put herself in great danger.

On the other hand I remember being cheated on in my 20s and being very vulnerable after (not that I actually did anything dangerous) and I was completely shocked by the way the police treated her. I yelled at the TV when I realised they had arrested the brothers with no realistic chance of being able to keep them in custody them at that point. She should have supported and advised in detail from the very beginning.

But yes, a lot of really odd behaviour regardless.

I feel so uncomfortable watching this, she is so irrational when she takes the tractor and I find the constant videoing quite cringey and bizarre, I really question why she let any of this be broadcast. I feel like even now her decision making is poor ..?

Yes - I feel torn too. In fact I agree with all your post.
Don’t know how the Scottish system works but if Sandy got 12years I wonder the earliest he could get out? Really hope that Caroline has closed that chapter.

Yes I did wonder that too - assume she got to see it before she was broadcast? I wonder which complaints against the Scottish police were upheld.

I’ve just binged this. I have mixed feelings about the whole thing. I wish the accident had never happened obviously. Three families have had their lives badly affected. I wonder why Caroline felt worthless in the first place. On a side note who the hell leaves the ignition key in a tractor along with the instruction manual.

And the police having a local farmhand helping at the burial site who then tells the twins about the red bull can they found- if it was a fictional programme we would think it was ludicrous!

I’ve not seen this series yet, but if you want to understand the police investigation then it’s the subject of two Murder Case episodes, still on iPlayer (called the Vanishing Cyclist).

Ooh thank you. Will have a look!

To be fair to her, when I met my now husband I had just come out of a relationship that ended so horrifically and painfully it left me wrecked. We got engaged (and pregnant) in a matter of months and to be honest, I'm astonished it all worked out, and I said as much last night!

I’ve just binged this and thought all the video recording she did was a bit odd/off. Her poor Dad was broken, that upset me when his voice cracked.

Me too. Her poor father looked utterly devastated by it all. She really put her parents through the ringer.

She didn’t come across particularly well, however it took a great deal of courage to do what she did. The police seemed to give her very little support.

I think she was treated appallingly by the police. She obviously had/has mental health issues ( jeez you would going through that!). Somehow she became the criminal. The sexism of the old Scottish guys is unreal. She was brave and amazing and deserved protection.

Who leaves keys in the ignition?

It was an extremely remote farm estate, not exactly the sort of place people are likely to stumble across. Everyone would be known to everyone.

Her behaviour by that point was completely manic. Whether that was the impact of her cocaine use or a mental illness is unclear.

Either way, I agree the police had decided she was intelligent, well educated and didn't need support simply because her background was different to your usual witness to murder.

Watching it now. I have heard about this story before. I agree that she doesn’t come across well at all. She seems very immature.

This ‘intelligent woman’ defence of their abandoning her is despicable.

I’m a strong, intelligent woman in my 50s. I would be absolutely terrified if I reported a person for murder and they were still free and they were someone who knew where I lived, worked, where my parents lived. Oh and I was in a relationship with them and it could very easily be tracked back to me. I would have been even more terrified in my 20s.

Absolutely horrifying. And this is when she was already at her lowest ebb following the end of a long relationship due to cheating.

The more I think about it the more appalled I am. The older prosecuting guy was horrendously smug and you could tell he was trying not to blurt out the misogynistic crap he was actually thinking - although what he said was enough.

I think she was failed by the police, her friends and her family. Nobody made an extra effort to see that she's well and safe. It's understandable that she wanted to be where she felt she was loved and cared for. I feel sad for her honestly, she clearly needed help.

Glad to hear she is getting professional help now. She was definitely not supported by police. There seems to have been a few mistakes by the police.

Her behaviour was very erratic and made little sense in places. One thing that struck me was what she described as the trigger for her going to the police in the first place. Don't want to spoil it for those who haven't got that far yet.

I found myself wondering why the delay in going to police and why did that thing trigger her. She was honest about her mistakes but I still find myself wondering why so many mistakes. I also think making this documentary might be a mistake but hopefully not. Her parents seemed very gentle people.

And I find it interesting that my focus is on her not Sandy and I think that's the problem with this documentary - people will focus on her behaviour and not his. But I guess it's from her perspective.

Not read the thread but just started this I had no idea it was about the vanishing cyclist when it came up , I thought it might be a reality show about people marrying prisoners 😆. I've listened to the podcast , such a sad story for the cyclists family.

I'm on episode 3 and just a bit...wow.

I'd be interested to know what Tony Parson's family's thoughts were on this doc.