Should I marry a murderer? Netflix

[IAmKerplunk]

Has anyone watched this? I have just finished it. Honestly I feel mixed about Caroline. Don’t want to say too much in case others haven’t finished it.

I remember the story being reported but didn’t know how much else went on in the lead up to the trial.

I was about to answer "no you shouldn't" then I remembered I was no longer scrolling through AIBU

https://open.substack.com/pub/glosswitch/p/could-you-just-try-being-less-traumatised?r=1sgf8z&utm_medium=ios

This poor girl, what an absolute ordeal.

She reminded me of a friend who is bipolar.

She was completely unsupported, I thought the police came over dreadfully.

#TeamCaroline

I felt incredibly sorry for her. It’s your worst nightmare come true when you think you’ve finally found love. So brave to actually tell the police and can’t believe they arrested them without any means to charge them so just let them free. if the police had actually looked after her properly she would never have felt the need to go back to her flat and let the parson twins move back in with her.

i’m not surprised she turned to drink and drugs in the absence of any real therapy offered to help her deal with 1) the instantaneous loss of her fiancé 2) realising someone she loved could kill.

Even the day of the court case I find it bizarre that given she was a vulnerable witness she was expected to just drive down on her own to court - why if the twins tried to get someone to hurt her so she didn’t testify.

Ofc she made awful mistakes - but it wouldn’t be on Netflix if she did the straightforward right thing would it - but ultimately the family have had some closure and justice thanks to her. The people who we should be talking about coming across badly are the people who killed a man.

She’s a brave woman, having the presence of mind to drop her Red Bull can and record the conversations. The flip side of that kind of audacity are things like the tractor ride.

I found it quite uncomfortable to watch as you can almost feel her mania in the videos. I’ve been in some situations in the past where a combination of shock, trauma and stress made me act in very unpredictable ways. You disassociate and are fuelled by adrenaline, you are incapable of making rational choices and become very impulsive. Nothing to do with intelligence, good upbringing etc can prevent that.

All the videoing was weird but some people like to share every little bit of life online, she seemed like she had adhd too which explains the energy a bit. No matter how in love I was I would never go back to a murderer. Hanging out with them in the middle of nowhere for months when they know you’re there one who got them arrested!

Just watching the vanishing cyclist on BBC.
It gives a more rounded view of the whole case.

Agreed. I understand that she had to play along a bit, to protect herself. But I don’t understand why you’d move back in with him. The police massively failed her though.

Spoiler alert.

I think her not turning up to court was a calculated move to allow her chap to plead guilty to the lesser charge. I’m not buying her getting wasted and looking for the bike at all. They planned it.

Why would you not turn up to court. A man has been killed. His family deserves justice.

People stop pursuing their own rapist because of the damage the criminal justice system does to women and their lives. Too many people have no idea of the stress involved in being involved in Court proceedings, and she has not had the best relationship with the police who seemed to treat her like a nuisance (even locking her in a cell rather than getting mental health help despite clear mania) and offer no support whatsoever despite her being their key witness.

I did wonder that, the way the statement was worded.

Yes I was abit confused by the video selfies too; I couldn't understand that being what you would think of during that time. She had all sorts of filters on and was posing as was simultaneously upset, even with the tractor and waterfall. She wasn't on hands and knees frantically searching in despair for the bike, she didn't look upset, and was prancing around with her phone; it was very strange. I felt conflicted too like a lot of posters. I do think she was very vulnerable and MH issues before the relationship. I felt for her parents too, their distress was palpable, and I got a vibe there had been irratic behaviour, and issues before. The police definitely failed her, as she was on a lot of drinks and drugs; maybe played a part in the strangeness? I don't know about it being a plan as some suggested, possibly could have been.

I’m not sure what you both mean here.

What’s the link between her not going to court and the lesser charge?

I thought he’d already tried to get a plea deal.

As someone with experience of seeing loved ones in psychosis I felt very strongly that’s what she was going through.

She was obviously struggling with mental health and addiction issues. She had also been treated very badly by the police. Could you really not see that she wasn’t well?

She's done documentaries before about this. Seems to be doing the rounds now.
I couldn't stick with this. Kept fast forwarding the first Ep and it didn't get better.
She was just too much and, like most documentaries of this type, it was sooo dragged out. 🥱

Did anyone else think she was undecided about reporting it until Sandy wanted to involve her in moving the body which would obviously make her complicit too?

I very much suspect she might be bipolar. She was brave but the risk taking and mania were mental health issues and I think exacerbate by the situation not created by it. She was taking huge risks from the start.

Women meeting men on tinder for the first time don't usually go straight to their house let alone their house in the middle of nowhere.

@LemonandLimesoda I didn't realise that was what was going on, with video filters. She looked so different in the videos. I thought maybe she'd just put a bit of weight on so looks different now but at one point I thought they'd dramatised it and the videos weren't real but an actress!

She was in psychosis.

I have had psychosis.

Honestly the whole thing made entire sense to me.

She told the police and she thought they would act. They didn’t. She went into fight or flight. Her fight response was acting innocent to save her family and trying to find the evidence.

I am watching this - started last night and have one episode to go.
I have mixed feelings about Caroline. She came across like a bad actress! I don’t know, a part of me had a niggling feeling that she knew a Netflix series or similar would be in the pipeline, hence all the video footage she conveniently took.
Perhaps I’ll finish the series and consider this first impression of her unfair. But I can’t shake it. She’s a total drama queen who’s probably slightly unhinged.

I thought a few things.

I thought she was very brave to tell her story like she did because in telling it - you have no control over how others might receive it.

I don’t know figures, but I am sure that in crimes, family and close friends are involved as witnesses and this showed the inner conflicting mess of it all - wanting it to just go away, not wanting to hurt those you love, moral ‘rightness’. That the journey is not triumphant hero but more as Caroline showed it, - as pp’s have said ‘mixed emotions’ - and it was exactly that. Mixed.

I do not understand the bluntness that the Police can operate with. The way they ‘outed’ her through incompetence (using a local farm hand with direct relationship to the perpetrators) and through design ‘you’re our main witness, Caroline’ in her house.

Very strange but compelling documentary. I hadn’t heard about this case and was so confused about how they just happened to have so much video footage. Like of her going home and trying on the wedding dress and filming it all. The filmmakers must have thought “brilliant, no need to do the rubbish reconstructions we usually have to for Netflix.”