Should I marry a murderer? Netflix

[IAmKerplunk]

Has anyone watched this? I have just finished it. Honestly I feel mixed about Caroline. Don’t want to say too much in case others haven’t finished it.

I remember the story being reported but didn’t know how much else went on in the lead up to the trial.

I finished this last night. Found the whole thing very odd. I doubt she’d have reported them if they hadn’t of asked her to help with the body. The police clearly failed her. I found her very immature and her decision making poor. The videos of her swigging vodka and cans of Stella made her seem like a teenager rather than 30 year old doctor. I felt for her father especially, he seemed completely broken by it all. I got the impression there was a back story with her erratic behaviour previously. From Sandys perspective, I cannot understand why he trusted her with the information and then never suspected her! Unless her did and it was a keep your enemy’s closer situation. The fact that they then accepted her back to live with them was especially odd. Perhaps he was relieved the secret was out? I do believe her not turning up to court was more about getting him the lesser sentence.

I have watched the 1st episode and I am half way through the 2nd one but so far Caroline is all me me me. I don’t know why she did not report it as soon as she found out, I was thinking maybe she was considering keeping quiet so she could have the wedding and happy ever after ending. The constant videoing of everything is really odd but I think that is the world of social media now.

Just finished watching it. I also think there was something a bit “off” about Caroline, some of the crying etc seemed a bit forced. She came across as quite self absorbed to me.

She was obviously mentally unwell though at the time of the trial and should have been supported better. I think she was probably had issues way before even meeting Sandy.
I do also take the “offered no support from the police” accusations with a pinch of salt, they advised her to move in with her parents and cut all contact, but she decides to go back to her flat and let the brothers move in? Was she perhaps offered support/could have asked for it but didn’t take it?

I thought it was very strange that her parents let her go off on her own to court to be a witness against her ex fiancée in a murder trial, why on earth weren’t they with her for support?
Lots of backstory to this I think

I too wondered about the support offered by her family and friends. Agree there’s probably more to it.

Most people would be extremely concerned about the impact of her highly stressful circumstances and clearly spiralling behaviour, and fighting to protect and support her. Especially in the run-up to having to give evidence at a trial. Advocating for adequate support from (judicial, health) authorities if needs be. She said her mum laid out an outfit for her to wear to court but then she apparently left to travel there alone when clearly v unwell.

I guess if an adult child or friend refuses to accept they’re struggling or any support, there’s not a lot family and friends can do, if authorities won’t/can’t intervene.

Yes I was expecting more support from her family - to help contain her and get her to court. The parents' constant hand wringing irritated me.

To be fair, we don't know what the parents have been through with her; I am guessing she has been volatile and it hasn't been easy for them. We don't know behind the scenes if she has told them to stay away either.

It did say at the end that the complaints she made against the police, were not upheld. Although the police should have cared for her better. If she didn’t take their advice. It’s tricky to support someone who won’t be helped.

I got the impression from her parents that they were extremely concerned about her and not for the first time. Her father in particular appeared defeated and distraught at points. It’s not normal for a grown woman with professional standing to behave like a petulant teenager. Drinking excessively and taking drugs at that age is not normal behaviour, no matter how much stress you’re under. If I had behaved like that my parents would have washed their hands of me; at any age, let alone as a adult.

What does offset this is her bravery reporting the crime. She put herself in considerable danger gathering evidence and was clearly keen to do the right thing.

Agree, the comment that “I have a much better relationship with my family now “ at the end was interesting too

I'm disgusted that she was left with no support by the police. I hope she was paid a shitload by Netflix with which to rebuild her life.

Yes, I very much sensed a strained relationship, and caring parents that were utterly at the end of their tether. I teared up seeing her poor dad, having lost my own at not much older than Caroline now.
I hope their relationship continues to heal, it was positive they seem in a better place now. I also got the impression from her male friend who was interviewed, that Caroline hadn't been the easiest person at times and a bit erratic. Surely pre-existing MH issues/behavioural traits would have been told to the police by her family. This part I don't understand. I am wondering if there is a clause that if the witness stays involved with the perpetrator the police cannot protect her.

I was interested in her assertion that she was “psychotic, manic” whilst I agree her behaviour looking for the bike was very psychosis like- she was simply arrested and thrown in a cell. Surely she would’ve been / would’ve needed to be treated? The psychosis wouldn’t have just stopped

I wondered if she had ADHD or bi polar as seemed quite hyper in her ramblings. Might explain dopamine rushes for drugs/alcohol?

I don’t know what she saw in Sandy, he didn’t seem at all likeable in any of the clips and even whilst talking he sounded like he had no soul if that makes sense!

She was clearly vulnerable, insecure,
low self esteem etc before she even met Sandy. By the end of this, I wondered where this could come from and I suspect she’s probably been under pressure her entire life from her parents. I’ve seen it with other friends. A comment she made early on struck a chord with how “upset and disappointed her parents were” when her previous relationship ended. I also thought it was really bloody odd that they weren’t there supporting her at the trial or at the sentencing. It spoke volumes. I felt their tears were for themselves, not for her.

I have to admit I had to turn it off part way through episode three as by this point she was annoying me so much with her self indulgent ramblings and filters on her selfies.

She was absolutely shafted by the police. All they care about is securing conviction and who cares about the collateral damage.

Must say it was weird that someone called Caroline couldn't pronounce the word Caroline. And Sandy just spoke in a series of vowels vaguely resembling sentences.

I wonder what their assorted ex partners would have to say? That's a doc I'd watch too.

Yes, I thought it really odd too, that the parents had to be rung by the police to say she hadnt turned up at court. There was clearly much more to their strained relationship at the time if they couldn’t drive her and be there to support her.

The wedding dress that Caroline tried on - she had ordered it with Sandy’s mum, would you not go shopping with your own mum for your wedding dress?

I agree the police let her down but I also don’t think she started the drinking and drugs after meeting Sandy.

I don’t think it was unreasonable that she couldn’t be at work whilst the post mortem was completed - but surely her work could have signposted her to help and support? I don’t think any siblings were mentioned so maybe she felt pressure from her parents? They looked devastated - but maybe they were the type to feel shame or embarrassment if their dd was suffering either way mental health.

I also can’t believe (as pp have said) that she went to the middle of nowhere to meet a tinder date! And did Sandy never come to hers and meet her friends? I know her parents met him once.

I watched the bbc documentary and am going to start the podcast.

Is she still practicing as a doctor ? This was not mentioned

I blame the parents for being devastated when her previous relationship ended.

The Defence Lawyer when asked “do you feel any sympathy for her”
“No - she didn’t deal with things the way people would’ve expected her to”

Well, no shit Sherlock.

She was failed, terribly. On multiple occasions. The men making awful stereotypical misogynistic judgements eg she’s so intelligent she doesn’t need support, she’s not a vulnerable witness, this is how she’s expected to behave etc…

She was clearly vulnerable before this happened. This must have been very difficult for her. I can’t say I’d necessarily make the same decisions she did, but ultimately she enabled Tony Parsons’ family to find out what happened.

Yes I agree with this. The constant videoing is cringe. And filming herself crying. And what shes put her poor parents through. She kept saying how much shes hurt her parents, but then carried on hurting them throughout with her choices and behaviours.

I said exactly this to my partner whilst watching it!

She was on drugs.
She was scared.
I found the program fasinating
Amazing how her life unraveled over that man
The drugs and alchol use was really disturbing

Oh please