Should I marry a murderer? Netflix

[IAmKerplunk]

Has anyone watched this? I have just finished it. Honestly I feel mixed about Caroline. Don’t want to say too much in case others haven’t finished it.

I remember the story being reported but didn’t know how much else went on in the lead up to the trial.

She probably has had treatment but even if she hasn’t I think you could probably come back from that once your flight or fight trigger has been removed and you calm down for a few years.

Psychosis is a funny thing. The line is so much closer than most people will ever realise and the brain can do some funny things when the architecture of the life our thought processes are built on fail.

It’s not even so much the partner. That was the stressor yes. But the reason I think she collapsed into such madness was actually more to do with the police. They are supposed to catch the bad guys. Supposed to keep people safe. All they were showing her over and over was that they were not only incapable of that but an actual threat to her. A threat to her safety by outing her as the whistleblower. And threatening her with jail.

i assumed from what she said that she didn’t want to put her parents at risk. That Sandy was going to be released and she knew he’d come looking for her, and she didn’t want him to hunt her down at her parents where they would be forced to try defend her.

it appeared she wasn’t offered any form of protection.

The other side of this is the family of Toney Parsons

www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/series/m002ql4f?partner=uk.co.bbc&origin=share-mobile

Why did everything hinge on her? She had recordings, she told them where the body was. Why would her confirming that in court make such a difference to it all?

Why on earth wouldn’t she have changed her locks when Sandy was released?
Like, what the actual fuck?
There’s the police not looking out for her, yes. But there is also such a thing as having a modicum of common sense.
Again though, it gave her video fodder when he came through the front door …

She appeared to me to be someone clearly neurodivergent (likely ADHD) and mentally ill. Her impetuous decision-making and lack of foresight are clues to her ND. At the end she mentions being under the care of a psychiatrist which suggests a SMI diagnosis.

I reckon she had been self-medicating with drugs and alcohol for years which, with her ND and SMI may have contributed to her previous relationship being challenging. I would like to hear from her family and previous boyfriend about her backstory.

Given the responsibilities of her job, I hope she isn’t working until her MH is stable- as a pathologist there will be occasions when a court has to rely on her reports, and she is probably so tainted by this incident that I don’t see how that could now be possible.

She came across as unlikeable and difficult to be around unfortunately.

I thought this too, has her job as a pathologist caused a lot of trauma maybe without her even realising it

I am amazed at how many of these comments are about her personality under stress rather than her actions to helping solve a murder.

I would love to see some of the more negative posters go through what she did and watch how they would react, during lockdown at the same age. No one here seems to be really appreciating that she is human and no one is a robot who is perfect in repeated stressful situations and while a global pandemic is happening. People seem to be making out she is worse than the guy who actually killed the cyclist and showed no remorse.

It was a difficult watch, seeing her completely unravel. I think some of the criticism of the police is unfair, they told her to stay with her parents and call if they had any concerns about safety. It doesn’t sound like there was any particular reason to worry that he or his brother would come after her and hurt her. They did a terrible thing but there was no history of violence mentioned.
I do think the programme could have given a bit more regard to the victim and his poor family. I assume they declined to take part. I watched the BBC documentary afterwards and really felt for them, they were very dignified.

What are you on about. She said she had psychosis. You get a psychiatrist when you have psychosis.

Psychosis can be a treatable acute illness.

I hope not!

There are some truly vile, misogynist takes on twitter. One comment said she was a malignant narcissist, worse than the murderer himself, and 'one step away from Myra Hindley'. There is no hatred like woman hatred.

Why not?!

Cannot believe the comments that are on here.

She's a pathologist, and I can imagine she's very good at her job.

I wonder how the driver of the truck (whose headlights dazzled Sandy when he drove into the cyclist) did not see the collision.

I feel like there probably wasn't a truck at all

Agreed. They were pissed and high, and it was just an excuse. Plus, they lied about him being killed outright, so could easily lie about the truck.

She did the right thing and ended up losing everything - her relationship, her job, her flat, her mental health.. not a great advert for making the right choice by the Scottish Police.

Yes I thought the same. Odd to be filming everything you do. I thought by the end she’d lost her mind but I’m not quite sure why; she’d only known the bloke a few months. Grass him up and keep your head down surely.

Binged watched it. She came across as bright, clever but vulnerable but because she did not fit the police profile as a vulnerable witness she was just left to deal with the fallout on her own. She was told to act as if nothing had changed when she reported it but the chief prosecutor contradicted all this by saying she should have changed her locks, ended all contact and run to the police when he showed up.

She thought she had a solid relationship, got love bombed, had to blow the whole thing up and to be fair to her really tried to help the police with all the recordings and got very little back. Got put on leave from her job, covid & lochdown came along and was facing an endless situation (I guess any trial dates would also have got delayed as well).

I would be feeling hard done by in her case and no wonder she spun out of control. I suspect she is a bit of a control freak (her ocd cleaning was mentioned) so the lack of control of the situation would have been hard for her to handle.

The first red flag for me was when she decided to go to a remote location with a man she’d just met on a dating app.

Me too, especially since she was about 30 when they met.

I’ve finished it now.
She was a total muppet, bless her. But I’m really glad she’s turning her life around. Good for her and good luck to her. And without her, they’d never have a case and the poor victim’s family would still be in the dark.

To some degree, however, we all need to take personal responsibility for our own choices.
She has much sympathy on this thread, which is largely understandable. But I’m not sure how much of that there would be if she wasn’t female, white or highly educated.

I started to reflect on how Caroline had helped many people find closure for their deceased loved ones, both in this case and in her work as a pathologist. I hope she can find some comfort in that.