MAFS #8 NO SPOILERS. Reiss wishes he had married a mango to do the horizontal tango. Abi's flaps are in distrust, trapped in tiny fishing line. No boobs or labia, alas. Dean still sucks.

[Dillite2]

Tissues at the ready, it's sofa time!

🤣 oh yeah, especially those with names ending in ‘olly’

I'm still on the previous thread and it's frustrating I can't comment, so had to find the current one to say that this comment - of all the hilarious things I've read so far - had me in absolute stitches 🤣🤣

They should really warn advanced users of Botox not to pet animals, as they go on facial expressions to know if you are trying to eat them. That poor dog probably saw FrankSidebottom bend down and freaked the fuck out.

So thanks for that @FirstCuppa , and all you other witty and hilarious people for making me snort when I'm feeling down💐

I thought of something….

Julia Ruth (aka Juicy Roots as John called her) making a massive drama about Divani loosing it with her on honeymoon to him and her sycophant fan friends, that she can’t be around that etc and then she says she’d marry Steven….ok girl.

She obviously exists for the surface level performance/ drama so she’d probably love being with him but it doesn’t really fit with her and her pals comments.

Her having no female friends is another red flag, just her fan boys all talking at a performative level in American drag style sound bites.

Thats why she’s so fucked off with Divani , because he’s broken the lalala bull shit code and dared to say something real and true.

He has previously enabled the toxic men and I think he's as useless as this lot. Never got the love for Mel either.

I agree. John might've stepped up once or twice, but mainly he's an enabler.

Mel is as bad as Paul - fucking shite.

pic borrowed from FB 🤣
although I do think there is some effort that goes into matching (not by these AI charlatans) but a cruel ‘anti-matching’ -oh you said you like this type? Well he’ll be married to the fiesty girl in the apartment next to you!

I sometimes think there's something a bit Jeremy Kyle about John.

Wonder if woman’s aid should have something to say about all this ?

It would be worth them making statement.
Its scary these kinds of relationships and behaviours are being normalised to young audiences

I think we should get a line up of experts we would like to see. Obviously I am sure there are plenty of actual therapists out there who we'd never have heard of, but maybe for the calling out, someone not scared of angry young men, who knows about domestic violence...Helen Mirren or Ferne Brady were all I could think of as entertaining to watch and feisty enough to call out bullshit in a way that would be fun to watch. Any other suggestions? We could do a dream team!

Katherine Ryan and Diane Morgan would kick their butts!

Oh yes, I've seen Katherine Ryan live and she took no prisoners with the heckling males...

Any of those would have happily ripped Steven a new one the first time he swore at everyone and stomped about like a toddler having a tantrum.

I think Women's Aid has issued a statement about two seasons of MAFS now. Which tells you something.

I've seen 'expert' Paul's excuses reel as it popped up on Instagram. Lots of comments telling him to do better. He's obviously only replied to comments telling him how brilliant he is 🙄

As always, I agree with you, Tinsel

I knew it was about the rocks but I also thought of Krystal Carrington when she came out with the big hair!

Phillipa Perry - her Instagram advice posts are very good

Anyone know why divani is always wearing a benny from crossroads hat?

JR is unhinged. Divarni losing his temper has now been seen and it is not scary after all.
Joe just wanted fame but can't handle it.
I don't buy the new barbie and ken couple. What is it they like so much about each other? Silly grins?
Isn't Leigh perceptive? I would probably be like her. All nasty and defensive and caught in the headlights.
Bailey loves himself and has hardly noticed his wife. He won't like her when he looks at her properly. She lives in a show home. He won't like that.
Ashley is a catch. Rooting for him and Grace. And for the boys.
Poor Nelly. Steven is a head case.

Same 🤣

I want Ash and Nelly to have an affair and leave together.

No way. Nelly would destroy Ash with her extremely low self-esteem.

She is very insecure and vulnerable, she needs to work on herself as it puts a partner off. If I dated someone how was repeatable dumped and cheated on, I'd wonder why?
I personally thought she was showing her vulnerability a lot very early in the relationship.

I don't like Steven at all, but don't find Nelly a good match either.

I think Nelly’s issues are because Steven is so cold and hard and unreadable. The only emotion he expresses is anger.
I think she’d be a completely different person with someone warm and loving and happy to give complements like Ash.

I don't think so.
I picked up on her need for reassurance and low self esteem on the honeymoon before Steven turned into a prick.
When a partner in an early relationship senses you are a bit desperate they're gone.
Even now, she's clinging on to a prick.

Nelly's 'issues' pre-date MAFS. Steven, while not the cause of her issues, is making matters much worse. She'd have been better off investing time (and money) in intensive therapy rather than wasting time looking for a meaningful relationship in a cesspit of misfits.

Steven is scum, no doubt about that.

All of them are fucked up in one way or another.