Sweet Bobby (Netflix)

[GenerousGardener]

Just listened to Sweet Bobby on BBC sounds. Very interesting listen about a woman who was ‘catfished’. Then saw it advertised on Netflix, coming out on Wednesday.
Got to be worth a watch.

Oh, thanks for the heads up.

If you haven’t seen it, Bad surgeon, love under the knife is a great watch on Netflix. It just gets more and more bizarre.

Oh my god, I just finished listening to this as well! I'll definitely watch. Part of me was like, "Why girl! Why have you invested 10 years of your life..." I won't go further because I don't want to spoil it for others but I can't help but think being Sikh and from a respectable family within a close-knit community made Kirat more trusting, loyal, and faithful. She wouldn't just get 'fed up' or discard someone in so much need, hence her investment in the relationship.
Such a wild story. I still have so many questions.

I was surprised at how much she put up with. Can’t say too much more.

Just watched this , I listened to the podcast sometime back , at first I thought Holy shit how are you believing this, but then it was easy to see how she got caught up in it .

Oh I loved this when Tortoise originally published it! Will keep an eye out for the Netflix.

I watched this today - it's shocking. I think her culture had a lot to do with how easily she was taken in, but for it to go on for so long is baffling! She gave up her child bearing years for a work of fiction. I felt sorry for the real Bobby as well, poor man.

I watched it and quite enjoyed it, but listened to the podcast a couple of years ago.
I have to say I thought the podcast was superior, because being a longish series, they were able to go into much more detail.

Not seen it, but my god I feel awful for her. Clearly a very vulnerable and easily manipulated woman who was taken in online in a very calculated and protracted manner. I can't honestly believe the other woman involved wasn't given some sort of community service or mental health support. I think it says a lot about vulnerable women and where our society is at right now with online initiated relationships and also communities where shame is a real issue in controlling women. Not to say the misogyny of the other woman's actions in coercively harming her cousin to the extent she did. It's almost to hard to believe someone would fall for it but women do every single day in one way or another.

Just watched and my heart breaks for her, poor lady going through that.

Really hope for her she finds someone as lovely as she is. She deserves so much happiness and I really do hope she gets to become the mother she's always dreamed she would be.

@TheGoddessFreyja same, I felt so awful for this beautiful kind woman.

I don't understand how it didnt get back to her that Bobby wasn't in Witness protection, maybe through her parents being told from someone in the community that knew both families.

This was so bizarre. It has to be partially because of the cultural background- the acceptance that it isn’t just completely insane to be engaged to someone you’re never met, the waiting around for so many years. And I couldn’t help thinking that the parents’ response was a bit weird, as well, and also to her previous relationship. Surely parents who were so involved and invested and determined to see her married above everything else would have stepped in and seen the first guy off after the first couple of times he did a runner? Surely they would have been able to line up at least one man who was actually real and interested in getting married?

But also, how fucking nuts was the cousin, to have invested that much time and energy into the whole thing for so long? She should have been working for MI5, not dicking around with her cousin’s love life. It went waaay beyond a few issues.

Listen to the podcast, there's a response of sorts from the cousin

Oh cool thanks for the heads up, I'll shove it on later

@LoobyDoop2 the mum said she had several proposals but I get the impression she was really into her ex and kept giving him second, third chances etc.
Also that the parents didnt want to put pressure on her to accept someone she wasn't truly into.

Just finished watching and wtf. Absolutely bizarre!! Will have to search for the podcast.

I haven't heard of the podcast but watched it on Netflix tonight.
Even though she actually never gave money from what it shows in the programme, there is a similarity with tinder swindler in that it's good looking successful women who are doing well in their fields and thinking about settling down and starting the next chapter of their life. Dating can be dire these days but along comes a man who is good looking, successful with a good career and good prospects and you can see yourself building something good with this person.
The amount of time and effort the cousin must have put into this is immense and I wonder if Kirat kept much of this to herself as surely friends and family would raise concerns after all this time and still not meeting face to face, and surely it would take a little bit of asking around to get to the bottom of the story, however hindsight is different.
I've heard it been said that there is the perfect con for everyone out there, and these days that can be catfishing, trying to get a dream of the ground, even jobs and fake adverts, it's all around us in different ways.
I hope Kirat can move onwards and upwards and there will be good things for her in the future - it takes alot of bravery to put yourself and experience out there for us to comment on!

i would recommend the podcast for anyone who watched this, it is a lot more detailed and the cousin features much more heavily.

The podcast was brilliant. Her decisions were crazy; I seriously thought there was something wrong with her brain to invest so many years.

I mean witness protection. Come on.

Just putting the programme on.

Can we talk about the Netflix doc here or will I get told off for spoilers?

I think most people on this thread have heard the podcast.

Ok great!

Just finished the Netflix show but haven't listened to the documentary yet.

My thoughts are that it suited her as imo she didn't really want a marriage/ family. Especially in her culture she could've had that in a heartbeat. Instead she had an on off relationship for 18 years then this nonsense with Bobby for another 8. Neither relationship required any kind of commitment from her for whatever reason she was ok with.

EIGHT years of a stroke, shooting, witness protection,marriage proposals, wtaf,I mean, come on?! 🙄😱

I'm off to listen to the podcast now!

That's a good thought. I couldn't believe she didn't have an issue not meeting him for so many years. It's hard to phrase but she was seriously lacking in critical thinking. I listened to the podcast years ago so I can't remember all the details of when she confronted real Bobby and his wife. The programme alludes to her being pissed of with real Bobby and his wife and almost blaming her. His identity was stolen and it was nothing to do with her. She's a very weird person.

Can't edit but meant blaming them and I used her in error.

What's interesting about the podcast is how she continues to refer to Bobby as if he really existed, as if she's compartmentalised her relationship with Bobby into a small sector that remains real, even though of course, she's fully aware that he never existed. I'd initially thought she was speaking about Bobby as if he were real in order to help listeners plug into her lived experience. But there were a few times when I felt like within her, there were memories she held that continued/continue to fuel a false reality.

I haven't listened yet as ended up blitzing the house but that makes sense, she created a whole life/ love/ fantasy as much as 'Bobby' did.