Married at first sight Australia on E4

[Honeyroar]

Anyone watching? The Sydney couple are never going to last. She’s so annoying, surely just on it to get on tv??

Have their ever been a couple from these shows that have stayed married?

*SchadenfreudePersonified8 I totally agree, "I think Sharon is deliberately "bigging" up the relationship to make her even more jealous."

I think Michelle is somewhat in her twin's shade and I think she is hanging on in there because Sharon is there too.

The dinner party was just awful where Jesse's step dad said her window was closing, at 31, WTAF!

Should we fill this thread up then?

My predictions for the future are:-

Nadia finds happiness with a minor TV celebrity and a part time cabin crew job. For years it is everything she hoped it would be and she brings him his slippers when he gets in from work. Then one day she snaps. She realises that she’s been living her life entirely passively and can’t do it anymore. She clears out their joint bank account, buys a boat and fakes her own death. A middle aged woman called Dania is rescued off the coast of New Zealand with $53k US dollars in her possession. She sets up a a cafe in a small town and is known for her takes-no-shit attitude and torrid affairs with 25 year olds.

Michelle spends the next ten years single, working for Sharon as a cleaner. Sharon marries Bob who everyone considers to be a good bloke, despite his porn addiction.

Sharon and Bob confide in Michelle that they’re having problems conceiving and ask if she would be their surrogate. However Sharon actually just doesn’t want to ruin her figure.

Michelle goes through with it, but during the pregnancy horrible-Bob starts trying it on with her and she decides that the only way to truly win is to marry Bob.

Michelle and Bob run off together, leaving Sharon with the baby. Everyone is equally miserable and outraged. The twins never speak again.

Oh and in case it wasn’t clear, Nick and Sharon gave it a go (because her gut told her to), but three weeks in she found out Nick was going to strip clubs. He claimed it was only because it’s hard doing long distance and he wouldn’t do it if she moved, but with no cameras to egg her on, Sharon ended things.

Nadia was dumped by Anthony two weeks after the show ended as he saw how many messages she was getting from strangers telling her she could do better.

Vanessa’s connection to Andy is severed shortly after the show ends as she realised that long distance would mean she had to rely entirely on his conversation to keep things going. It gives her the idea to start a coaching business for shy men on how to talk to girls. It sadly folds in its first year because they can’t get a word in edgeways. She goes back to her old life and realises being single isn’t as bad as she thought it was.

Meanwhile Andy meets a woman who is just as shy as he is. They enjoy long silences and sitting and eating quietly in cafes together. It is true love and they are blissfully happy, despite that awkward blip on their wedding day when his best mate stood up in church and objected on the grounds that Andy should have been with him. However at the age of 80 his wife finally overcomes her shyness and he realises that all this time he’s been married to a woman with violently racist and homophobic views. He leaves her and moves in with his best mate. There is talk that they’re a couple, but Andy is saying nothing.

Cheryl goes on to be an influencer. It is everything she hoped it would be. Her dad enjoys a brief foray into reality TV on a show where couples move in with him and he tries to split them up. It isn’t a success, though he does ruin several marriages. Cheryl never marries again as she is too scared of bringing anyone home.

Abandrew tries to make it as a singer, but unfortunately the world reacts as though he tried to kiss us on a beach. After the show the twins stop taking his calls and he decides to move to a new area. He goes on a few dates, but can’t understand why they never want to see him past their third date just because he does that funny imitating-them bit.

He starts spending more time online and realises that he’s been born out of time, and that’s his problem. He starts bonding with young Incels and they tell him that his music is really good. He was last seen muttering at strangers as he walked down the street, and is on several government watch lists.

After Anthony dumps Nadia (and tells everyone about how she’s a lovely girl but he had to dump her because she just wasn’t challenging enough for him- and did he mention that he dumped her ?) he knows he needs to do damage control. Some of his sexiest tricks (like calling a girl frigid if she won’t screw him) are now out in the open - he needs a new tactic. Having heard of negging, Anthony decides that he would be amazing as a life coach for other men on how to make women miserable enough to consider dating them. He throws in his job with the horses (though carries on his gambling, pretending it’s professional development and still unwilling to see it for the addiction it is) and takes to the stage. He goes from place to place speaking to halls of awful men about what they need to do to keep a woman who is better than them.

Unable to find someone himself he eventually orders a Thai bride, but tells everyone they met on holiday and it’s true love. However she is not the pushover he hoped she would be. By the tenth year of their marriage, and due to him failing to break her down emotionally as she refused to learn English, they are relatively happily married and he does more than half of the housework. His book flops and he returns to commentating on the horses, but he’s not allowed to gamble anymore.

Jesse returns to the market. One day whilst calling out “50c a kilo! Can’t say better than that!” he locks eyes with the woman on the fish counter. A formidable lady of 58 years, with arms that most men would be happy to have as legs, it is love at first sight. She overlooks his immaturity and runs through the stalls to scoop him up in her arms.

They marry in the middle of the market only a month after getting together. Jesse’s dad is happy with the match, but his stepdad does mention at the wedding that she should probably hurry up if she’s thinking of having kids. Their marriage is full of joy and wonder and veg and fish.

After Sharon realises Nick will continue to attend strip clubs, and dumps him, Nick turns to his friends for comfort. They all assure him that she’s a complete bitch, not good enough for him, strip clubs are fine and they always said she was up herself.

Nick realises that his issue isn’t that he needs to change himself, it’s that he needs to find a woman who hasn’t established her own boundaries yet. In a stroke of genius he starts hanging out at student bars and dating 19 year olds. This tactic works and he has several long term relationships, but unfortunately they all keep getting older and eventually deciding that they deserve more than an old bloke who sees strippers.

Now in his 40s he struggles to pick up the ladies and finally decides that maybe his attitude has been the issue all along. He talks to his mates about it who all assure him that there’s definitely nothing wrong with him and he mustn’t change.

Nick dies alone.

After the show Susan and Sean stay in touch for a while, but they both realise that they’re holding each other back from finding someone else, so reluctantly call it a day. At work at the mines one day, Susan gets chatting to a new driver, he doesn’t live far from her and also does fly in fly out. They begin a relationship, but sadly it doesn’t work out when Susan decides to surprise him at home one day and discovers his wife and children live with him.

Heartbroken she begins messaging Sean again, and he asks if she wants to come and stay for a bit, to recover. She does. When she gets there it’s like a different place. Sean saved the $200 from every day during recording and has used it to turn his home into a beautiful rustic hideaway. Although she still has her doubts, Susan decides to give it a go and is thrilled to discover that a new airport nearby (or ideally teleporters are invented) means she can visit her friends and get to work easily. Phew. All sorted. They live happily ever after and raise three cowgirls.

Alene and Simon try really hard to make it work after the show ends. Alene moves to the country to be with him, but despite including her in everything it is just too different from her life in the city. She begins to resent him and misses her family.

As a surprise and to try to fix things, Simon learns Arabic and organises to fly her family out to visit. It works and for a little while Alene is more settled, but it is just too hard long term.

She finally sits him down and tells him that she loves him, but that she needs to go back to the city. There is much crying but Simon says she needs to do what makes her happy. She says that he makes her happy, but she misses her life. He says he understands, but is devastated.

She rents a new flat in the city and he helps her move back. On the day she moves in he brings in all her stuff from the moving van, and then says “Hang on I forgot something.” He goes back out and brings in his stuff too. “I forgot to tell you I’m movin’ with ya!” He says in Arabic.

They live happily ever after even though Simon secretly wants to grow his hair back.

It’s still not full!

Oh, Debbie! Debbie returns to sitting on a beach like a siren, waiting for her Polynesian man to come. She joins a dating site but discovers that all the Polynesian men have put on their profiles that they don’t want a Debbie.

One day, whilst lying, forlorn in the sand, her hair carefully placed to look the right kind of bohemian, she sees a man walking towards her. He sits beside her, they begin to chat, she is transfixed by his Polynesian features and they move quickly towards marriage. On their wedding night she turns to her husband and whispers, “I always wanted a Polynesian man”
“I’m from the Philippines actually,” he whispers back, “Is this going to be a problem?”
“Of course not,” she replied, but it was. It was a huge problem.

She snuck away that night and moved to Tonga, where by a weird twist of fate she ended up marrying a Japanese American man who just agreed he was Tongan whenever she brought it up. She never cooked or cleaned despite her wedding vows.

John stayed single until his eldest daughter married, he took a shine to her new mother in law and despite his daughter’s protestations they had a whirlwind romance and got married six months later. They divorced a year after that. John says that family dos are really awkward now.

Having watched the series back, John Aiken realises that his expertise is nonsense and he really should return to his one true passion of skateboarding (he thought Anthony was right about skateboarding being a compliment).

Trisha and Mel are appalled by the misogyny they’ve seen and decide to set up a new couples counselling service called “Have you considered Leaving the Bastard?” They simply get the couples in, listen to the issues, and ask one very simple - but very meaningful - question. If the answer is yes or if anyone reports being called frigid or being compared to being given a skateboard, they recommend leaving the bastard. It is a roaring success.

Good effort rinder

How many posts to go ? (Can’t see on my phone)

The new thread was very premature but just as good.

This post is 996. So nearly there

Always better to have a premature new thread than no new thread at all

New thread reminder for stragglers
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/telly_addicts/3977081-Self-justifying-attention-seeking-strategies-and-manipulative-psychoses-in-Aussie-faux-scientific-anthropological-claptrap-MAFS-Part-Deux

Ahh! 5

Now 2