Veg that pleases and infectious diseases. The myriad joys of MASTERCHEF, thread 3

[Halsall]

All human life is here, for our viewing pleasure.

ENJOY!

Knob off jonty, those potatoes looked gorgeous.
Nurse, the screens for Schade!

Jerusalem artichokes, so delicious, so fart-tastic.

I like this little "Russian" girl

Leave her ALONE Greggggg!

Fœtus effort looks a bit boring

Yup, that's a farmer's plate.

Peter look like he's about to meet his executioner

That's a very brown plate of food

I shudder to think of the after-effects of the Jerusalem artichokes on Gregggg's innards.

Ah well, a delightful treat in store for the latest Mrs Greggg

That looked exceptionally unappetising

Ooooh! This pork stuff looks lovely!

Zaq is just a bundle of cliches. From the q to the circus job to the neck tats to the scary eyebrows to the piercings to the hugging. Go hug Jilly, see what you get.

I sodding hate ironing Schaden but my mother trained me and I can't leave things unironed.

I like Jilly. And Natalie.

Imagine that lump farting next to you in the marital bed. I bet he farts as he thrusts.

Gregg is going for his ventriloquist's dummy look ce soir. His eyes seem to be operating independently.
Good Jilly can stay in and exterminate Gregg.

I like Jilly.

You didn't fucking cut the stem out of the chard you utter wanker.
Nothing to do with slightly imperfect execution.
What is the matter with these people

Change the carrot puree for parsnip and that could be my death row last meal.

Just leaving this here

Halsall

I wouldn't have him in the house with an infant. She'll be pleased he's inflicting his arse on the food cruise people

Bollocks I am being bombarded by grandson relatives and trying to sort out visits. I am missing so much grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

And I missed the in

Whatashower

Interesting effort from jilly...

Imagine paying actual money to be stuck on a boat for days on end with Gregg motherfucking Wallace?!

I like Jilly, too -she'll not put up with Gregggg's shite!