Masterchef. You don't have to be a serial killer to cook here, but it helps. Thread 2.

[Halsall]

Tim survives to kill cook another day. More from him at a later date, but also (thank goodness) from lovely Irini.

Bring on the new victims.

@Taffeta absolutely, though I think many a cat would turn up their nose.

I love steak tartare...but without the egg

The hell is he doing.

Are any of them going through tonight? Not much to get excited about so far.

And what's with Jim and the sauce splatting???

Charles is the least cunty of the 3 judge cunts.

Oh god he's watched the thin gummy adria judge hasn't he...

Pink shirt slap it on the plate is a twat of the highest order

Greggg and John leapt out of the way like two appalled Regency maidens.

I feel your painschaden although I am disappointed you did not simply exclaim 'that will be an ecumenical matter' and briskly depart at the very beginning of the meeting.

Barbara Pym or Barchester Towers?

no Swiss Tony. that is bad. Gags.

Agree re Star Anise Squooosh - the Pretender of the the Spice Rack.

Is that egg yolk confit?

I feel sorry for third judge - how can anyone compete with that degree of smugness and pomposity? She'll be getting her t*ts out just to get noticed next.

That looks nice

I do not want to see creosote eating. 😷
We once went to a vair posh restaurant in Paris and one of us had tartare. There was mountains of it. He was hiding it under things, redistributing it about the plate, putting it on ours, it never went down.
What the fuck was that splat ting about?

squoosh they absolutely DID.

RIGht just squeaked in, who are we liking

That stew is not modern

Plantain yeah man!

Aw she's lovely

I like her. Please don't cook shit

Carise's plate looks yum.

Yeah babe

Aww I like her, but something about sliced carrots makes me gag (childhood food issues)

Fat guy is an utter twat

"There's an authenticity to this "

Cock

Show me your humbleness and I'll show you my authenticity