EASTENDERS 17 - NO SPOILERS

[Blondeshavemorefun]

Soooooooooooooooooooooooo

when will stephen die/tel lauren he isnt dying

Max is shagging carmel to gain info and will break her heart when gets dumped

will sonja get with sexy teacher

what will happen to mick, linda,whitney, fi pub

stacey is getting huge and martin still drinking away her wages,. what was the point in her working there and how do they afford the rent when they couldnt when had 4 adult paying/working living there

will baby come early, think we said due xmas

bobby is also due to come back soon, had 3 years will be ut in 18mths for good behaviour,providing he hasnt walloped anyone over the head again .....

so i think he will come home at xmas and then max will do something to him ......

phil is soooooooooo rich, with assets everywhere and all being divided between shazza, denny, ben, lou, jay and of course raymond, who will no doubt come back into ee at 18 so roughly 2035

anymore of michell and tube man/boyfriend

will jack shag his norway nanny, course he will

In eastenders yes, in real life I believe they quickly put on breathing apparatus and go inside to rescue any people they think are inside, odd though that seems so what's up tomorrow? Unexploded bomb found in the hole where the gas main went up, someone abducted Louis during the kerfuffle (Peter maybe?), bronson the dog reappears and pulls someone that we've previously not noticed is missing from the minuscule wreckage and becomes the hero of the square until supersonia murders him in a fit of jealous rage?

I managed to keep a straight face right up until the big bang at the end. At which point I fell about laughing and switched the telly off for the rest of the night so that my suspension of disbelief could have some recovery time.

bookwormbeagle DH came in the room & asked if it was an hour long episode, given how long it seemed I'd been watching it. I had to admit that I'd rewound it & was rapidly pausing/unpausing it every time there was a chance of seeing an ambulance license plate. I was impressed & frustrated in equal measure to find that there's not a single second in any scene where we can see the license plates, other than when they're driving on the road & it's not clear who's inside. I'm waiting for DH to leave the room again so I can go back through it & see if I can ascertain who is driving each ambulance & who their patient might be... So far I'm also concluding that it's Lauren/Abi.

What's the betting Ian is a bit distracted from worrying about Jane because he's not paid the insurance for the restaurant recently...

Lisa Faulkner is awful in this, her "daddy" voice was ridiculous.
What was going on with Adam Woodyatt? And is Stacey about to get ill again?

This is fucking ridiculous and I love it! Reminds me of when I used to watch the American soap operas on cable TV and every week would be full of gun shots and explosions.

'Impressed and frustrated in equal measure' I couldn't see licence plates.

I'd be willing to guess that was a total fluke tbh!

I was wrong. There is a split second at one point where you can see a blurred partial plate. Pretty sure I've worked out who was in the crash... but I am wondering why the ambulances sent for Abi & Steven had 2 paramedics each but Sausage got 3 paramedics. I've print-screened images of all paramedics & the ambulances in the last sequence to cross-reference which paramedics were driving or riding in each ambulance. That, coupled with the print-screen of the split second blurred license plate, has ruled out one person & firmly put my suspicions on another. I shall say no more, in case I'm right & it's classed as a spoiler!

Nah, not enough happened for me tonight. A three ambulance pile up would gave made it worth watching.

It was like that old Tony Hancock sketch. He was playing a Walter Gabriel-type character that was about to be sacked and launched into an unstopppable monologue in which he told the listeners about a string of fatal accidents that had befallen the other members of the cast.

Is Sean O'Connor leaving of his own accord or was he sacked? It's the ultimate director's revenge. Just make a laughing-stock of the programme, killing off anyone who's quibbled about their script, before skipping off into the wide blue yonder.

Some brilliant Del-boy touches, tho'. I loved Sausage falling straight down, flat on his face, like a guardsman, when they opened the door and Abi being hit on the head by the extractor fan was a classic.

Excellent Hancock reference there Thyme.

That episode was far, far worse than I thought it would be, I feel like giving Sean O'Connor a slap.

It was just stupid!

Sausage was even a rubbish actor at being unconscious, which is quite a feat.

I used to quite like Max despite everything. But that made me hate him,

I used to have an absolutely massive crush on Christopher Timothy in All Creatures Great & Small. In my defence I must have been about 10.

Tonight's episode was llterally car crash tele. Just bonkers, i love it in an 'I can't believe how bad this is' weird sort of way.

tobee, you are a little bit younger than me ( i was about 13 when it was on) but i was in love with Peter davison who played Tristan in all creatures and i didnt like CT as he was a bit too craggy faced, even then.. good actor though, he could put his hand up a cow's bum and look pained really well !! I havent seen him in anything else since ( until now)
Agnu should get wine and chocolate for her utter devotion to this soap and trying to figure out which ambulance it was that was hit by a random lorry on a strange bit of road that looked a bit empty really for the east end of london! I just love this thread so much, it really does cheer me up!! Thank you for keeping me sane. I have a feeling Sean must have been given the push. still, it was exciting last night and after weeks of drab stories and not much happening, they really pushed the boat out ( or should i say ambulance?)

I wonder if the meters and numbers in the plates contain some hidden subliminal message about its passengers?

What are the number plates? We could have some fun with this!

Sausage was even a rubbish actor at being unconscious, which is quite a feat.

He was! He had a stupid expression on his face.

They've already sacked one of the Carters, Lee, for being a shit actor. Wonder if sausage is up for the chop? Whoever cast the Carters did a terrible job.

I remember someone saying about Danny-Boy Hatchard, 'Ah well, he's great in musical theatre', and so I watched him in some musical theatre on You Tube and he was shit in that too.

I also think Steven is likely to be a goner from the bench injury. There will be a "No, I'm fine!" self discharge because of his dog brain tumour and he'll deteriorate swiftly and keel over in the Vic.

They focussed on it too much for it to be anything other than fatal, surely.

Agnu..I think your license plate fixation is even more severe than my Spam obsession .
The whole episode was like a school play - amateur acting, plot with holes like a gouda cheese and flimsy props.

Maybe they will discover that he really does have a brain tumour - or that he really is a spaniel, anything possible on EE!

Musus...perhaps Steven and Bronson are the same person/dog with a shared brain. Never see them in the same scene together. One of them is going to be written out.

It was on the W channel last night so I watched it again Beales is like 2 rooms the firefighter could just wander in shout FOUND HER in 2 seconds and i howled at Max in his ghostie fire blanket the whole thing was a total farce

And I know Steven locked the fire door, because Jane announced it very ponderously - 'You LOCKED THE FIREDOOR' - but unless everyone else was telepathic they wouldn't know that and surely to goodness someone would have tried round the back. Like, maybe, you know, her husband?

Will Ian be allowed to claim on the insurance as his own son and heir torched the place?I think a loss adjustor might have a few opinions on that (though not in reality-bypassed Eastenders of course).

Baffled throughout the episode and laughed out loud at the end, too!

And then carried on laughing reading this marvellous thread!

How fast does a lorry have to drive to turn over an ambulance? 70mph?!

Agnu tip of the deerstalker for your forensic work! CSI Walford!

Is Sean O'Connor leaving of his own accord or was he sacked? It's the ultimate director's revenge. Just make a laughing-stock of the programme, killing off anyone who's quibbled about their script, before skipping off into the wide blue yonder. He did exactly the same thing in The Archers - what is he going to ruin next?

Ah I obviously missed the part she mentions the fire door. Maybe she yelled it whilst I was yelling at the Rc 'there's a fucking fire door behind you!' Haha

I think it's sausage and L in the ambulance, wouldn't be a bad thing for him to depart I must say.

And Max's fire blanket was the best thing ever, he looked like some kind of Dracula swooping in the night

So Mrs Spam is now going to 'take the rap' and end up in the local nick being visited by Ted whilst she gets to wear the yellow sash of doom. Maybe she will run into another of Mr Big;s criminal mates and become the female version of Phil- she already has whispering under her control, so she is half way there.
She will end up the prison cook, making spam go a long way and keeping the food costs down in the kitchen, before tunnelling a hole in the wall and escaping back to the allotments , where she will hide away and have Ted fetch her spam and chips for tea.