Made In Chelsea. Are you ready to pardy?

[squoosh]

MIC is like back on Monday boi yah.

Are Tiny Tears and Poundland Fonz still totes in love? Will Toff continue to tussle with Tiff? Will Sam continue to make my toes curl? Will Proudlock continue to dress like Beau Brummell - The Studio 54 Years? Will Biscuits finally admit to his lust for Spenny? Will Spenny's philandering ways culminate in a jaunt to his local clap clinic? Will Binky finally brush her hair?

Let's find out.

fos,epic *cosmetic

That pic of Heidi

Actually its a shame because she was so lovely before ,if I remember rightly she fell out with her mum over it at one point.
Stephanie has had much subtler work but there is still a slightly aging puffiness about her face.
squoosh you must watch the Hills ,its amazingly bitchy and totally compulsive viewing

Lauren is a much needed bitch. However she's not as funny a bitch as Victoria or Phoebe, she's fucking tedious, which is why Spenny looks so glum.

He wants the status of a hot gf, he just doesn't want to spend any time with her.

I've gone right off Binky, and God knows she's not bright but she did slightly own Nicola in that last stand off, which surprised me.

Poor Nicola, a simple Irish lass who wants to be a wag with a weave, hasn't remotely got Alex's number.

I reckon her attraction is that when he cheats she will fuck off back to Ireland and he won't have to deal with the fall out.

Josh is obviously one of those grumpy men who's terminally hard to live with. I don't fancy Stevie but I'd take him over Josh any day.

And Andy over Mytton. Dear God what do those women see in him.

Agree about Binky in the stand off with Nicola. Thought she was very dignified and put her in her place.

Oh I love Andy. I don't know why the girls don't seem to like him. Maybe he's a bit dull in reality(

"Looks like the inside of an animal's coffin"

Duck we call Andy "Nostrils" in this house.
Yep its off putting being able to see directly up your dates nose even if he is very nice

Binky has turned into a wanker

Poor Heidi, looking at her is so depressing. She was so fresh faced prior to all the surgery now she just looks like a blow up doll.

I think Steph should quit while she's ahead. She looks good now but I could see her ending up as plastico fantastico in a few years.

Andyseems like a nice guy.....but he's a bit too wide of eye and wide of nostril. He's got no edge.

Josh has cold fish eyes. Don't like him at all now.

Lauren - you did sound like a shit-stirrer because you are. Nasty nippy snarky caah. The writing is on the wall for your relationship with Spenny. Relationship vindaloo. Expelled rapidly with just a foul smell lingering.

Nicola love. Who gave you the extra portions of bastard pie? I will enjoy seeing you having some comeuppance in a bap for afters. And popping at Binky for not being clever? She's hardly coming across like the lovechild of my namesake and Amy.

Still not fond of Binky but agree that she came across miles better than Nicola in that face off. Nicola doesn't need to worry about Binks interfering in her relationship. I reckon Jess would be bouncing all over Mitten if he gave her a waggle of his lego-like quiff.

Josh is a cock. Steph lovey. You can do better.

And lo from the clips at the end, Tiny Tears is dripping. Didn't take long for not so smart Alec to disappoint her again.

I like Jess. She always looks as though she's rolled out of bed and is battling a hangover.

Yes, that's exactly how Jess looks squoosh

I like Jess too.

Binky does look different these days.

Slalomsuki- I think she was jess's mate who went to Barbados with her and met fleur & binky too. Very non-memorable.

Does anyone know what is going on with Fleurs hair. Its like a birds nest and is deiving me crazy. Is Spencer really only 25? He looks 35 easily mind you so does Lauren. Not loving Stevies facial hair either.

The other girl who was with Lauren and Nicola in the bar is called Millie

Not a patch on original Millie, she's definitely a place filler who won't be given any main story lines

Watching a New York episode on E4 - where Gabriella surprises Binky by singing "New Yawk" . Cringe.

Gabriella genuinely has the most frightening voice I've ever heard. It is horrific. It sounds like she's deliberately putting on a stupid voice.

I follow Gabriella on Instagram. She's always putting videos up of her squawking singing. I never watch them obnov.
I wish I had her confidence.

I like Jess too. She has a weird sort of charm. The bitching this week was funny.

I thought all the new uns would be dull but they're not.

I am off to stalk them all on Twitter.

I like the new guy "JP", he's very funny.

Yeah I like JP. Millie and Fleur seem a bit pointless.

I love Fleur's terrible hair. It's like she's just stuck it up in bobble before getting in the bath and has forgotten to fix it.

Doesn't she know that groomed tresses are de rigeur in her part of town.

New girls seem pointless

Just waiting for spenny to cheat

Bout time biscuit had a new romance