Made In Chelsea. Are you ready to pardy?

[squoosh]

MIC is like back on Monday boi yah.

Are Tiny Tears and Poundland Fonz still totes in love? Will Toff continue to tussle with Tiff? Will Sam continue to make my toes curl? Will Proudlock continue to dress like Beau Brummell - The Studio 54 Years? Will Biscuits finally admit to his lust for Spenny? Will Spenny's philandering ways culminate in a jaunt to his local clap clinic? Will Binky finally brush her hair?

Let's find out.

The thought of Sam on the job gives me 'the ick'.

Just imagine him ladies. Slow lunge. Fast lunge. Slow lunge. Fast lunge.

Slow lunge slow lunge.

Fastlungefastlungefastlunge.

All done.

Inane grin.

What a treat...

He is so unappealing.

Poor Lauren she has got that confused Spencered look about her.

Poor Louise to be dumped and the odd tear not helping. Be good if he does go.

sheldon proper laughing at that !!! What flavour crisp butty? My guilty pleasure is cheese and onion on white bread with butter

Thanks twinkle for the 02 info I watched it on there.

Yes to the L.A connection, are we about to meet fat fonze sister I wonder??

I feel sorry for binks

Very good Sheldon

Always a chore.

Never a pleasure.

I'm guessing

Yes to the cheese and onion on white with butter. Posh version has mayo and is accompanied with a pork pie.

I slum it sometimes with cheesypoofs in a bap.

I have to say that tinytears looks more upset than fonzieofthefat at the thought of the imminent departure.

I reckon he ought to go quick smart. The sooner the better. Because it isn't going to be long before folk notice that Fats has eaten most of JP's lobes and left him with freakishly little ears.

Spoiler - ff has a picture of tiny tears on his Instagram. It looks like she's on a plane.

Tiffany - why? I don't like Millie, she is an awful friend to Jess. Millie hasn't done anything wrong and at least dumped Sam. Tiff, needs to woman up and move on - that's two strikes (at least). Why can't you quit him?

I'm looking forward to next week, Josh can't seriously be slagging off Lucy to her sister. What a turd.

Lauren is on her way out. Lots of extras at her slumber party but no Spencer. Vicki awful as usual.

Spenny can only pretend he cares for so long...

I do wish they'd ditch Sam, he's not amusing he's just a twat.

Yes I agree twinkle - fuck off Sam!

I can't understand how they tolerate him unless they just see him as the "class clown". I see him as a loyal brother but one who hasn't grown up.

What has happened to Proudlock, is he channeling Diane Keaton or something?!

Oh and James is hot hot hot, I want!

How tiny is tiny tears?

Jess was so not into that kiss . . .

Nah, she doesn't really fancy Jamie. I'm sure he has a certain appeal but he's just not very sexy.

Jess seems a bit lost I think.

I wouldn't have thought that any hairdresser in London would want to be associated with Binky!
Did you see that hairdresser aimlessly pick up a brush then completely disappear when she saw the size of the task? Why on earth doesn't she wash her vile greasy mop?

Tiff and Steph are a right pair. Of deluded tits.

I can't blame Lucy for saying how she feels about Sam and Steph. I note that Tiff didn't tell Sam and Steph and fisheyescockface off for slagging off Lucy but Lucy gets the control freak speech for airing her opinion. Naice. She is only looking out for you. Sam is a stain of the onanism variety.

There is nothing that shrinks my innards more than someone who tries to engage me in faux friendly conversation when they know I can't stomach them. Sam would have been making faux friends with my racquet. Wide end first.

Jess might not have been feeling the kiss. Too busy feeling the weight of her suddenly far more obvious eyebrows perhaps.

Fatfonzbooboo sounds as though he is convincing himself about how much he completely 100% utterly really loves tinytears.

Just as wagulikee and mitten are convincing themselves that the instagram pic was not a shameful publicity stunt...

Although we see it every series I quite like flirty Jamie. I think he means what he says at the time he says it but just doesn't have the capacity to remember what he has said. But like a goldfish, nice to look at but rather pointless.

Watching Jamie snog someone is like discovering your Care Bear has a penis.

A bit wrong.

And Toff is basically a posh Babs Windsor. With requisite saucy cackle.

I cringed for Elliot. Victoria was amusing for once on his knob-shots, she reminded me of Princess Margaret longing for a funeral in that black vintage hat.

Tiff is not bright is she, she seemed genuinely surprised when Lucy said Sam would be short term. Yes bud up with the girl who dumped your sister for a control freak that can't go wrong.

Jess doesn't fancy anyone but Mitten, but to misquote Hillaire Belloc:

Seals have puppies
Cats have kittens
But Mitten only fancies Mitten.

Do some men really send pictures of their dicks to girls they're interested in? And he seemed to think it strange that she didn't like them. That's just weird.

And i'm not convinced by Jess and Jamie. I think they're both more into themselves than eachother.