X FACTOR- it's semi-final week- Beyonce versus Elton John

[Raahh]

Well, not literally, obviously. No fighting in the ring, Voice-stylee (my money would be on Bouncy).

No- this week, our beloved acts are performing 2 songs- a Beyonce one, and an Elton on.

Here are the songs:

Luke Friend
Best Thing I Never Had
Something About The Way You Look Tonight

Nicholas McDonald
Halo
Don’t Let The Sun Go Down On Me

Rough Copy
Survivor
Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word

Sam Bailey
If I Were A Boy
Candle In The Wind

Whoever suggested 'Cnadle in the Wind' for ScrewLoose last week, wins the Internet. Congratulations.

Rumours abound that Duff Copy will leave. I hope not.

I'm really sad no-one is doing 'Circle of Life'. In costume

I'm off to the school Christmas fair late. I'm going to need a lot of .

Aw, the final thread
And then that'll be me until Prentice. Unless they bring back a Dorothy or a Jesus.

Is it supposed to be a joke? Do dead people really buy this stuff?

Ohh they're the geezers who had their performance enhanced ruined by that crazed egg wielding violinist.

Does look like Betty Turpin. But she is dead.

Sue We soooooo need a Jesus though it nearly killed us

And there's always the Voice. Without JJ , which is nice.

Oh is it them?
Goggle suggests it is their Nan
Nice boys love their Nan. And Tamehra.

Bless if it is really their nan.

Bet she's got a brick in her handbag, in case a violinist tries any funny business.

They do look like they have good news to share!

Apparently we get a 2 hour show on both Saturday and Sunday for the final. That should make you even more delighted, Maryz. 4 hours you don't have to watch!

Apparently Elton John (with Gary Barlow), the killers, tom odell and the wandies are gracing the xfactor final, alongside Katy perry (again). And Celine dion is not doing a duet with screw loose (which can only be a mercy for us).

FOUR HOURS

So Elton isn't duetting with an act? Probably wise. Though I can't imagine Screwloose with any of the others.
I really like Tom Odell. He'll prob get Crood boy. Knickerless will wet himself if he's paired up with Katy perry. She'll eat him alive.

SPOILER**

(just in case anyone has an overwhelming desire to keep the song choices secret til the weekend)

I have just read on digital spy

Sam Bailey will sing Lady Gaga's 'The Edge of Glory' as her first song, and will also perform a version of 'Power Of Love' by Jennifer Rush.

Luke Friend has been tasked with 'We Are Young' from fun., as well as the One Direction track 'What Makes You Beautiful'.

Nicholas McDonald is to perform 'Candy' by Robbie Williams and Sarah McLachlan's 'Angel'.

Am I right in thinking the second song choices are ones they have already sung?

Can't stand 'Edge of Glory' but it fits Screw loose's shouty/80's style.
Absolutely detest 'Candy' (didn't bazza co-write that?)
But I do like fun.

So from that alone, Crood is my winner.

Are we not getting a set of horrible duets this year then? Or will we have to endure 3 songs each, plus two versions of the winner's song?

I can't see any big stars clamouring to sing with those three.

The finalists on Sunday night had better so g a Christmas song. They didn't last year. I was

Mind you,we need time to get over the dancing Christmas trees!

It's going to be like the Butlins version of an X Factor final.

They don't need big stars. There are plenty of previous contestants who've probably got some time on their hands and are willing to bear the indignity of performing with this lot.

Or maybe that's what the wanger rumour is about. Maybe one of them is singing with wanger. Or all of them. That would be excellent. They could sing Christmas songs with wanger and bring back the arse flashing trees.

The arse flashing trees would have been perfect for Wanger. He would have 'accidentally' groped them inappropriately.

Bet Miley Cyrus wishes she'd thought of twerking Christmas trees .

pmsl- the dcs are watching one of the Madagascar short films- and one of the penguins has just exclaimed 'Shittake mushrooms' ! Shitty is clearly a fan or a penguin

link to the FINAL weekend thread***