X FACTOR- it's semi-final week- Beyonce versus Elton John

[Raahh]

Well, not literally, obviously. No fighting in the ring, Voice-stylee (my money would be on Bouncy).

No- this week, our beloved acts are performing 2 songs- a Beyonce one, and an Elton on.

Here are the songs:

Luke Friend
Best Thing I Never Had
Something About The Way You Look Tonight

Nicholas McDonald
Halo
Don’t Let The Sun Go Down On Me

Rough Copy
Survivor
Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word

Sam Bailey
If I Were A Boy
Candle In The Wind

Whoever suggested 'Cnadle in the Wind' for ScrewLoose last week, wins the Internet. Congratulations.

Rumours abound that Duff Copy will leave. I hope not.

I'm really sad no-one is doing 'Circle of Life'. In costume

I'm off to the school Christmas fair late. I'm going to need a lot of .

If all Scotland doesn't think Louis is a proper gold plated cock I should be most surprised.

She has a Christmas single out, innit? Which either means it's highly likely or highly unlikely she is going to be on

I nearly dusted off last year's Christmas name. And LaQueen has sort of used it. So i can't, really. But if she wins the name change with it- I was there first! i came 4th last year

I'm Scottish (although not in Scotland). I think Louis is a total pillock.

I hate Mrs Brown's boys. Is it funny? what am i missing?

What were you? And I thought LeQ had flounced too?
I have two - SuePurblybiltbyElves and RudolphUcker. I shall select one.

God was that the Homeless Nolan there advertising Mrs Browns Boys?

I hate it too, Raahh.

Exactly Calam many things divide our nation, but that Louis is a gold plated knobber must be the one thing that unites us.

Ah Sue, I've been away for 2 weeks and no bugger noticed.

Bastards.

I am going to bring out a really crappy Christmassy name once I've put my tree up.

Mrs Brown = Powerfully unfunny. Have said before, will again.
Crock o'shite

ok, can I ask who the hell was Melanie? I don't remember her being a contestant

I agree with SUE's remarkably astute observation that Dermot has had enough! sorry
I haven't changed my name since summer 2012 - I really should

Well, there is a LaQueen3kngsofOrientare. maybe it's not her

I was We3kingsofOrientRaahh.

I toyed with fRaahhnkincense, But can't be arsed.

I thought Sue was Devon's finest!

Raahh it's shite and not funny

HTH

Week 1

When you had just the one chin there remember?

Saycool . Whither accusations of royalty and bjullying now, eh?

We will be NICE, Mrs DV. She's not the worst, ol' Leona.

Nice velour

Is this true Sue- is he Devon's finest?

Luke looks like a mushroom with his hair down

Mrs Browns Boys is rubbish. Proved by the fact that my FIL watches it.

I love Fraahhkincense

Oh don't worry, MrsDeVere. We're all agreed that Leona is just too naive to be horrible about.

The fools in charge of deigning xfactor sets and the stylists, on the other hand, have a lot to answer for.