X Factor Results! Will it be a fat full milk with extra vanilla free cornflake for all? Or something that makes actual sense?

[SuePurblybiltbyElves]

Who can tell?

I am going with Chowmein and Rylan at the bottom tonight. And will be sticking fingers in my ears throughout Rhianna.

[SuePurblyFeltYourPresents]

Jesus, does ITV LIVE on this thread?

YY to Elaine Paige bit. In a sparkly bolero.

[LineRunner]

I'd just to remind Jane McDonald that I have always stuck up for her hair.

[SuePurblyFeltYourPresents]

I haven't. It's awful, love - sorry.
but on the plus side, you look better than that hard faced blonde caah on Loose Wimmin.

[we3kingsoforientRaahh]

Has Alexandra Burke.COM been on yet? She could partner up with Chowmein, and out-melisma his melismas. (He will then cry).

Shitsinger will decide to sex-up Pinhead, and get one of her Pussy Cat mates to duet with him. Only, in her drug addled confusion, she will book Hello Kitty instead.

Westshoite will refuse to sing with the Babyshits, due to being too old to get on and off their stools. Louis will be left to make up a Super group to duet with them. Made up of Goldie, Wanger, the male half of 'Same Difference' and Michelle McManus. They will sing Bucks Fizz 'Land of make Believe'. It will be a global smash.

sits back and waits to see whether any of these ideas are pinched by the itv producers

[we3kingsoforientRaahh]

And Simon Cowell will decide to kill off his own show by having Nanfucker duet with Sir Macca, on 'Hey Jude'. Old people will get over -excited.

[SuePurblyFeltYourPresents]

JezzyKrizzy, even Thumbsaloft would baulk at NanFucker.

[we3kingsoforientRaahh]

Sue- you're probably right
I'm starting to feel sorry for Barry. He hasn't smiled for weeks. He has to look like he really cares about the lump of cheese he has lumbered himself with mentoring. When all this is over, Nanfucker will consider him his bezzie mate and stalk him...I predict a move across the pond for the Garlows.

[BellaTheGymnast]

The only praise Barry can ever muster for Nanfucker is that "it's a singing competition" and "people are voting for him".

[SuePurblyFeltYourPresents]

No NO, Bella - he also gives him 'you're still here'
I find myself in that situation professionally a lot and I consider myself quite skilled at extracting the nugget of goodness from the . But I'd struggle with NanFucker. 'You're not dead yet' praps?

[we3kingsoforientRaahh]

'you're not dead yet'

[SuePurblyFeltYourPresents]

I know. And I'm not convinced that's even a good thing < controversial >

[LadyBeagle]

Can you imagine Nanfucker's face if the other acts get world superstars like Beyonce or Leona and he get's Jane Macdonald?
Yeah 'cos he really want's to duet with a has been cruise singer.
But his fans would love it, he'd probably bloody win.

[Iwantacampervan]

New desperate move by the Babyshits - an article in our local paper states that we all have to vote for them because a) one of them (I think Quiffy or maybe Bubles) was born in the city and b) his mum says we should. He doesn't live here anymore - no local connections now, not that I would ever be swayed by that.

[BellaTheGymnast]

I'm very much hoping that my suggestion of Jane McDonald is being taken seriously by the producers.

[BellaTheGymnast]

Jesus, just re-read the bit about JM offering to duet with him!! Please let it come true.

Shame Val Doonican isn't still alive.

[LineRunner]

They could murder each other River Deep Mountain High.

[LadyBeagle]

Doubt it would do Jane any harm either.
Plucked from the obscurity of Loose Women on to a show that has millions of viewers and gets huge publicity.

[BellaTheGymnast]

Is it this week that they do their duets, or next?

[WhatTheFookIsGangnamStyle]

Jane Macdonald and Christopher could sing a cheesy number like Aaron Neville & Linda Ronstadt - I Don't Know Much .

[BellaTheGymnast]

What about Sir Cliff?!

[WhatTheFookIsGangnamStyle]

Dolly Parton.

[LineRunner]

I can picture Nanfucker belting out a number with Cilla Black.

He's that bad.

[MsElleTow]

On the Xtra Factor a viewer phoned in and asked Tulisa of she thought Gary would give Nanfucker praise if he wasn't his act. Tulisa, just said No! I don't think Gary even argued that he would!

We've only got 2 weeks left, so I think next week will be the duets because that usually happens in the final. Tulisa is singing this weekend!

[BellaTheGymnast]

Beverley Knight

[WhatTheFookIsGangnamStyle]

Tulisa singing? hahaha