X Factor Results! Will it be a fat full milk with extra vanilla free cornflake for all? Or something that makes actual sense?

[SuePurblybiltbyElves]

Who can tell?

I am going with Chowmein and Rylan at the bottom tonight. And will be sticking fingers in my ears throughout Rhianna.

[SuePurblyFeltYourPresents]

couldn't wait

[SuePurblyFeltYourPresents]

COME on youse lot. Don't make me start a thread again...

[LadyBeagle]

Apparently Rylan's already got a job.
He's filling in for Richard for a week while he's on a week's holiday on Daybreak.

[BellaTheGymnast]

Ah yes, the old "performing live" caveat. She'll be up there giving it loads to an entirely forgettable song, rough as a badger's arse, stopping mid chorus to give Wang a blowjob.

[SuePurblyFeltYourPresents]

Beverley KNight turned on the lights last week in a local town, the paper says she sang THREE songs. Did we know she had them?

Dullisa will be miming. And shit. I saw online she was now the most googled woman this year, overtaking KateM, and how that meant she was top of the urban pops and so dahn wiv da kidz. Nothing to do with the sex tapes then?

[BellaTheGymnast]

Ooh, remember the horror when Cheryl Cole sang on X-Factor? (or indeed at any other time?)

[WhatTheFookIsGangnamStyle]

Tulisa singing? hahaha

[BellaTheGymnast]

Beverley Knight

[MsElleTow]

On the Xtra Factor a viewer phoned in and asked Tulisa of she thought Gary would give Nanfucker praise if he wasn't his act. Tulisa, just said No! I don't think Gary even argued that he would!

We've only got 2 weeks left, so I think next week will be the duets because that usually happens in the final. Tulisa is singing this weekend!

[LineRunner]

I can picture Nanfucker belting out a number with Cilla Black.

He's that bad.

[WhatTheFookIsGangnamStyle]

Dolly Parton.

[BellaTheGymnast]

What about Sir Cliff?!

[WhatTheFookIsGangnamStyle]

Jane Macdonald and Christopher could sing a cheesy number like Aaron Neville & Linda Ronstadt - I Don't Know Much .

[BellaTheGymnast]

Is it this week that they do their duets, or next?

[LadyBeagle]

Doubt it would do Jane any harm either.
Plucked from the obscurity of Loose Women on to a show that has millions of viewers and gets huge publicity.

[LineRunner]

They could murder each other River Deep Mountain High.

[BellaTheGymnast]

Jesus, just re-read the bit about JM offering to duet with him!! Please let it come true.

Shame Val Doonican isn't still alive.

[BellaTheGymnast]

I'm very much hoping that my suggestion of Jane McDonald is being taken seriously by the producers.

[Iwantacampervan]

New desperate move by the Babyshits - an article in our local paper states that we all have to vote for them because a) one of them (I think Quiffy or maybe Bubles) was born in the city and b) his mum says we should. He doesn't live here anymore - no local connections now, not that I would ever be swayed by that.

[LadyBeagle]

Can you imagine Nanfucker's face if the other acts get world superstars like Beyonce or Leona and he get's Jane Macdonald?
Yeah 'cos he really want's to duet with a has been cruise singer.
But his fans would love it, he'd probably bloody win.

[SuePurblyFeltYourPresents]

I know. And I'm not convinced that's even a good thing < controversial >

[we3kingsoforientRaahh]

'you're not dead yet'

[SuePurblyFeltYourPresents]

No NO, Bella - he also gives him 'you're still here'
I find myself in that situation professionally a lot and I consider myself quite skilled at extracting the nugget of goodness from the . But I'd struggle with NanFucker. 'You're not dead yet' praps?

[BellaTheGymnast]

The only praise Barry can ever muster for Nanfucker is that "it's a singing competition" and "people are voting for him".

[we3kingsoforientRaahh]

Sue- you're probably right
I'm starting to feel sorry for Barry. He hasn't smiled for weeks. He has to look like he really cares about the lump of cheese he has lumbered himself with mentoring. When all this is over, Nanfucker will consider him his bezzie mate and stalk him...I predict a move across the pond for the Garlows.