Teens with no friends

[Bacaufhd]

Anyone else’s teens driving them mad this summer? they both have no friends (both autistic) I’ve been told if they are happy then thats their choice and leave the to it but it doesn’t make life easy for me. I wish they had some mates to go out with, they are sat at home every day unless I encourage them to go out somewhere but there isn’t much for teens and im running out of ideas and they don’t want to do most things, everything is expensive, days out cost a lot, they are also clearly conscious is being seen out with their mum as if they see anyone from school they get embarrassed. I know if they don’t want friends I should respect that but they spend the whole time sat at home winding each other up. Now is when they are suppose to be independent off doing there own thing. Anyone else have a teen with no friends?

Neither have one single friend? School must be awful for them both?

Oh I should say one does but he won’t meet them outside of school, one has none.

Quite common for autistic children, sadly. My son doesn’t have a single friend.

thanks yeah this is aimed at people with ND kids or kids with no friends I know to some people that’s crazy but it’s very common with ND kids not to have friends so asking if anyone is in the same situation

I give my teen DS jobs that I pay him for

Car clean, patio clean, clear out the shed. I’m shedding out a bit! But worth it!

They wouldn’t be interested in anything like that sadly because they don’t go anywhere so dont need money to spend (their words) they’ve had multiple arguments today already 😓

How old are they?

So you adapt it

you pay the mobile phone bill?

They don’t have a mobile phone bill it’s not on contract

They literally have nothing in their life that you pay for that has meaning to them? Nothing? Nothing in the future? Is driving?

Huh? Im not sure what your point is, they get Robux well one does but he already has a couple of jobs he does for that, the other is not interested in money

My kids are the same. I’ve made my peace… they are fed up enough without me harping on at them.

I’ve made peace with them not having friends but it’s more them staying in all day winding each other up, they are too old for parks now and most other places cost loads

Is there something they both like that they could be persuaded to do together (without arguing)?
How do they feel about exercise? Not quite the same situation but my DS's friends all live miles away (his school has a large catchment) so don't really meet up in the holidays. However I've convinced DS to go for a daily run or swim (latter obviously costs but not too much as our local leisure center still consider him a child).

I drag mine out to pick up a Subway/lunch food from Tescos but other than that they stay in their rooms…they do go a bit bonkers after each meal time though which I tend to ignore! when are they winding each other up?

Hiya, right so the problem is them winding each other up then.

We all understand that not everybody values the idea of having tons of friends, nor are capable of making and maintaining them, especially not being so young.

So how can you arrange your house that each of them has a space? Or can you agree a timetable = he has the lounge all morning, she has it all afternoon.

And where can you make a space that is just for you? Forget the lounge now.

I'm thinking they will be housed at some stage, as not appropriate for them to stay with you their entire lives. Until then five years or so, find a way of dividing up the living space.

I work in supported living and we support people, some of whom have autism, and this is how we do it.

Also encourage them to do their chores. Keep them a list of what needs doing, including a 'home day' where they ate expected to do their washing, change their bed and clean their room. When they move out, they need to know how to take care of their living space.

Sitting on the sofa arguing

My point is… getting them working for the things you pay for on behalf of them. There must be something??

Of they went a takeaway tonight… they clean your car inside and out? That kind of thing

They are both sitting on the sofa winding each other up, one does spend a lot of time in his room already but I guess if they were out with mates they wouldn’t be sat in bored trying to get a reaction

Do you have any holiday plans?

My DC 15 is the same. She has friends at school, but won't meet them outside school and definitely not summer. She's just finished year 10, so this summer is mainly revision for her, and that does fill her time. She's also continuing her music and sports practices to fill her time. She gets along well with DC2 so that helps.

Gym?

my boy is either out with friends, at the gym or at home on his phone being cajoled by me to do jobs for me for money.

Can They reorganise their room, paint something, weed? Can you get them reading?

Also I know people bring reminded of things that are free but hikes, beach, ask them to bake with their granny etc

Surely the real problem is that you’re at home to see and hear them arguing? If they’re both teens and no danger to themselves can’t you go out for work or fun and let them get on with squabbling?