Teens with no friends

[Bacaufhd]

Anyone else’s teens driving them mad this summer? they both have no friends (both autistic) I’ve been told if they are happy then thats their choice and leave the to it but it doesn’t make life easy for me. I wish they had some mates to go out with, they are sat at home every day unless I encourage them to go out somewhere but there isn’t much for teens and im running out of ideas and they don’t want to do most things, everything is expensive, days out cost a lot, they are also clearly conscious is being seen out with their mum as if they see anyone from school they get embarrassed. I know if they don’t want friends I should respect that but they spend the whole time sat at home winding each other up. Now is when they are suppose to be independent off doing there own thing. Anyone else have a teen with no friends?

No we are not going away

Oh no they wouldn’t like that… they don’t like me
going out without them either so I feel stuck

When they were younger it was easier as they actually wanted to come out places, we have a local splash park but they won’t even go there anymore as they are conscious of seeing kids from the school there and thats the same anywhere local meaning they are expecting us to travel far out anywhere we go so it’s harder than when they were little

No plans to go away anywhere this summer, everywhere cost a fortune in the holidays

That’s what I meant - go out without them. I am assuming that they’re independent enough to be safe in the house - if so, don’t be a prisoner. It’ll be positive for them to get used to you going out for a walk/to the gym/for lunch/to the cinema and if they don’t like being left it’s their choice to come with you or not.

They may not like it but what would actually happen?

I have one similar, does have friends but he went to a special school miles 'away so they're mainly texting friends.

I give him jobs to do, take out for lunch, cinema, a wander round the shops - he's not bothered to be seen with me.

Any interest in the gym? They could spend hours there and keep themselves to themselves if that's their preference.

No they wouldn’t go to the gym on their own, they don’t go out without me too anxious and wouldnt like the gym 😔 neither are particularly into fitness

I went out without one and he didn’t speak to me for ages after

How old are they?

14 and 13

It's incredibly hard, you have my sympathies.
My teen with SEN is having a 15 minute walk around the block three or four times a week. And that's it. I've offered driving lessons (with me tagging along if it makes her feel safer), gym, visit to London etc. Nothing works. I think she's just doing craft quietly all day.

They would be interested in them, I didn’t say they wouldn’t be but they cost a lot of money so can’t do paid for things every day.

I don’t work in the summer. I work term time only.

Hes not abusive hes a kid with Sen

They are happy to do things but the things they want to do cost big money which im trying to explain to people it’s not cheap to constantly go to places even out for food is expensive, it’s not like when they were little when you could go to the park, library, etc we would spend hours in the park when they were younger.

What about geocaching or pokemon go?. Gets them out?

I totally understand you and I see some posters don't. It costs so much to go out, and teens aren't interested in going to the park. And the OP teens are neurodiverse. DH and I take a day off a week and we go out to do something in the country side. In the weekend, we go to London together. We don't want to hang out locally. DC2 has got a video of her on her scooter shared on the class whatsapp group. She's not in it but she's told by her friend. She doesn't mind, but I know DC1 will be.

I have no suggestions, just sympathy. I know you are trying and it's hard when the kids don't want to go out and hang with their mates like neurotypical kids.

And like I say before, on the days I'm working, they are busy doing revision work or music. And I take them to sports practice. It's definitely very hard.