Teens with no friends

[Bacaufhd]

Anyone else’s teens driving them mad this summer? they both have no friends (both autistic) I’ve been told if they are happy then thats their choice and leave the to it but it doesn’t make life easy for me. I wish they had some mates to go out with, they are sat at home every day unless I encourage them to go out somewhere but there isn’t much for teens and im running out of ideas and they don’t want to do most things, everything is expensive, days out cost a lot, they are also clearly conscious is being seen out with their mum as if they see anyone from school they get embarrassed. I know if they don’t want friends I should respect that but they spend the whole time sat at home winding each other up. Now is when they are suppose to be independent off doing there own thing. Anyone else have a teen with no friends?

Didnt ask you

In fact I won’t even be acknowledging you anymore

We hear you are frustrated Op and your situation sounds so hard. All suggestions have been turned down as unsuitable. Are you going to look for help from parents who do have experience with autistic teenagers?

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/special^educational^needs

Not all teenagers hate going out with their family / parents but your teenager finds it mortifying. With autism, there can be much black and white thinking, so "being seen with mum is 100% mortifying" versus "being seen with mum is cringe but I can tolerate it to do x, y, z".

What do you think you are going to do to help yourself and your boys OP this summer?

The post was wishing they had and wanted friends, they don’t, and at 14 i can’t force that, it is mortifying for most teens and considering every single one of their school friends that we’ve seen has NOT been with their mum, I imagine most kids their age feel the same way!

How rude.

That poster has been very rude to me through this thread too so I won’t be engaging with them. Same to you.

😂

Pointless thread.

You've been a bit rude and closed minded to any advice shared.

However your situation must be very difficult and you must feel at the end of your tether. I won't be posting anymore on this thread as it's going around in circles.

You will be feeling worn down from the very unreasonable demands form your young people. Therefore, the best thing you can do is look after yourself. Treat yourself, go to the cinema with a friend not your kids. Go for a walk with your youngest, organise an outing with mum friends in your younger dc's circle. take a few hours out here and there.

Wishing you well.

Haircuts OP? Got mine out for a haircut today and sneaked in a coffee!

And ignore that child of yours who stops speaking to you when you pop out for a bit. You must know that's abusive behaviour, not being neurodivergent. He is trying to force you to stay at home by being emotionally abusive withdrawing and his love. Giving into that, you are sending all the wrong messages to him. He is mortified to be seen with you but he wants to force you to stay at home. You can and should put your foot down on that.

I do have a child with SEN thanks.

And from what you have said, your child’s SEN doesn’t affect their ability to be safe if left at home. It makes them feel unhappy to be left at home but that’s not the same thing.

They will still have SEN at 25 and may still feel unhappy to be left, so I’m not sure what will be different?

If I’m wrong and you feel they are not safe at home alone then that’s different.

Why is this still going on? Even if they were perfectly happy to be left alone all day?! I would have concerns about that as it’s sad!!

This thread wasnt about me going out I quite want to spend my summer chilling in my garden thanks!

That is quite the 180.

So now you’re actually quite happy about fact that you basically held hostage by your teens?

To the rest of u it sounds like a very dark place to be. And yet you don’t seem remotely keen on doing anything, anything at all. Aside from showing your boys that if they ignore you for days, - they get their way

How’s it a 180? My post literally says im sad they don’t have friends maybe try reading it!!

Anyone else’s teens driving them mad this summer? they both have no friends (both autistic) I’ve been told if they are happy then thats their choice and leave the to it but it doesn’t make life easy for me. I wish they had some mates to go out with, they are sat at home every day unless I encourage them to go out somewhere but there isn’t much for teens and im running out of ideas and they don’t want to do most things, everything is expensive, days out cost a lot, they are also clearly conscious is being seen out with their mum as if they see anyone from school they get embarrassed. I know if they don’t want friends I should respect that but they spend the whole time sat at home winding each other up. Now is when they are suppose to be independent off doing there own thing. Anyone else have a teen with no friends?

please tell me where ive said im upset about not wanting to go out? I want them to have mates so they can spend time Out the house without me and have their own lives.

You said they don’t like you going out without them and stop talking to you if you do “so I feel stuck” - didn’t sound like you were happy about it

And it sounds like the biggest issue for you is that they wind each other up and squabble - if you were out, you wouldn’t hear it

Op someone post to say that they can’t leave their home weothoht someone they live with giving them the silent treatment for days - understandably posters are going to focus on this because it has nothing to do with friendless teens and everything to do with someone controlling you

Was your ex abusive?

This doesn’t give the impression you are loving being at home all the time

I want them to have mates like any parent would! Yes im looking forward to chilling this holiday and not having the pressure of running around all day like term time.

Days, I said it was a few hours