Ex and I struggling to adjust to teens not wanting to spend time with us over the holidays

[Newstart02839]

I work in a school. I chose this line of work specifically so I could be there for the children during school holidays.
They are now 13 and 15. One very social , one not so much but neither want to spend time with us. And its really hard to accept even though I know its normal.
We are going out for the day as family once a week, and they seem to enjoy it but the rest of the time they say no to every single suggestion.
We always go to wales to my parents caravan but they are both refusing to go. So we arent going on holiday this year. I feel absolutely gutted.
I took my daughter Pottery painting today at a local cafe. She had a miserable face the whole time, didn't speak to me, kept telling me I was embarrassing, im barely allowed to breath without her commenting. I snapped and told her im not taking her anywhere else. It cost me £60 and wasnt enjoyable.
Its nice to have the summer off but I feel absolutely lost without going on family days out. I miss going to the seaside , parks, zoos etc. I feel covid robbed us of some of this precious time aswell.
How do you adjust to this?

Ah, I think they're all different. Just go with the flow.

I feel very lucky that my 18 yr old twins generally still want to do stuff with us. Mostly if we're paying of course...🤣. But we've done scarecrow trails this summer, a cider festival (DD not so great next day 🤔), Bristol harbourside festival, friends BBQs etc. I'm so happy they do as i know they'll soon be gone, but they also like to do their own thing and so they should.

Roots and wings! Its heartbreaking in one way but also tells you what great parents you are...

Its such a shame when someone starts a thread on here and has lots of various helpful replies but they hardly come back. Makes you wonder why anyone bothers replying sometimes.

They are at that age when friends become more important and their interests change. It’s sad but normal. You have to accept you’re going to get less time with them and find activities for you. You can probably increase the time they will spend with you a little by choosing activities they love and ones that are more teen friendly. Beaches and parks no longer hold much appeal unless they have friends to chat to. Shorter activities a couple of hours long and then let them see friends the rest of the day. Holidays need to be somewhere new and interesting. If a full week somewhere new is too expensive then a more expensive weekend trip somewhere teen friendly or abroad will hold more appeal than a week or fortnight in a caravan. A alternative is to let them bring a friend each if you think you could cope with this. However be aware if you do this they are more likely to come but will still pretty much abandon you once there in favour of the friend. There are ways to increase the time they want to spend with you, but reality is you can only do that to a certain extent at this age. It’s time to reclaim some you time! Meet friends for coffee, take up a new hobby, start a project etc. Long days at the beach with kids are sadly done for now. If you’re lucky you get to do it again with grandkids in a few years time. Yes it’s hard but it’s inevitable unfortunately.

Firstly, sending you lots and lots of love and hugs it must be a hard transition and I'm dreading it when it happens with me and my 4.
Secondly, maybe still do the days out but navigate them round the kids new interests! Pottery painting would have been good with a smaller child, but now they're older maybe something different and more teen friendly?
Don't put so much pressure on yourself either. Just stick to the once a week family days and enjoy some you time in the week ❤️

Maybe try finding out what they’d like to do?