Hi I have never posted before but really need some help and advice. My son is 17 and has his first girlfriend, she is 19, lives about 15 mins away from us went to a diff sixth form but they met on Snapchat. She comes on a Friday evening (we pick her up she doesn’t drive) and then usually leaves on a Monday morning. After she arrives on a Friday she never leaves my son’s room (apart from to go to the bathroom which she seems to try to ensure she does when no one is around). Initially my son said she was very shy and I understood but asked him to encourage her to come down, join in a bit etc. We would only be nice to her etc. It’s got worse if anything. My son comes down makes a ton of food for them both takes it back up. She never leaves the room and they basically spend all weekend in his room. It’s like we have a secret lodger! This has now been going on for a few months and just feel it’s a bizarre situation and that she needs to integrate a little bit with us if she wants to spend time here. My son takes my straighteners for her to use without asking and one day I needed them in the morning and knocked on his door and asked him to bring them out. He called just to come in which I did and they were both still in bed and she pulled the covers up over her head it was so awkward. They constantly order takeaways late at night and leave tons of food and packaging all over the room. We are constantly saying to bring things down after eating. My son sends me lists of things he’d like when I go to the shop and I know 80% of them are for her as most of it is stuff he doesn’t like eg smoked salmon, olives etc. I want to put my foot down and say it’s not continuing like this but my husband isn’t supportive of me taking a hard line approach and says does it really matter if they stay in his room. Although he agrees it’s not ideal, he hates confrontation and my son gets angry at us really easily so my husband doesn’t want to cause a row. I am also worried about my son’s A Levels as he wants to go to uni but since seeing her is hardly doing any work and his work is suffering. He goes to see her on a Monday and Tuesday evening (not overnight just for a few hours) and so there are only 2 evenings a week he’s not with her. It is so tricky to navigate and appreciate we have let it get to this but I kept hoping things would change. What do you think I should do? I am thinking of asking my sister to come over and mediate us talking to him as I don’t think he’d kick off in the same way if she is there.