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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Very very tall daughter

346 replies

BadAtTecnology35 · 30/05/2025 01:28

My DD12 (13 next month) is now over 6'5 and almost 6'6. How do I help her with this?
I am 6'2 and DH is 6'4 but she's just that bit taller. DS who's 11 is only 5'4 for comparison.

Everyone always mentions it everywhere she goes and that's before they realise her age cause she looks older. Teachers, friends, everyone.

She's quite slim build and has size 14 feet (i know). She used to not mind her height but now she's getting to be the tallest boy or girl in her whole school, I'm hearing more comments about how she hates it.

Will she grow much more? How can I help her build confidence up?

Want to clarify, we've been doctors and no hormone issue/ disease

OP posts:
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6
LaLaLaLavaChChChChicken · 30/05/2025 03:00

I don’t know about her height, but don’t girls slow down growing before boys do?
Buying shoes must be a nightmare though, I am size 9 and that is bad enough.

Flipslop · 30/05/2025 03:05

I doubt she will grow much more now given her age and gender.
aww I really feel for her, nobody wants to really stand out at that age. I’d look at loads of ways to boost her self esteem. Is she into sports at all as her height could be a real advantage in many

RogersOrganismicProcess · 30/05/2025 03:13

Has she started her periods! Isn’t it about a year/18 months after menstruation that girls height starts to halt?

It is hard standing out as a kid. I remember my tall best friend stooping a little to try and blend in more.

RogersOrganismicProcess · 30/05/2025 03:15

Sorry that was meant to be a question 😬

DangerQuakeRhinoSnake · 30/05/2025 03:25

Focus on the positives. She will not struggle to see at gigs (as a short person this is one of my main bugbears). She won't need to search for a step to get to the high shelves. I'm sure there are others.

My friend at school was the tall girl. She just had to shrug off any comments. I suppose she got used to it, however unpleasant it was. Hopefully your dd has good friends around her who don't even notice her height any more.

Outofthepan · 30/05/2025 03:47

Oh, I do feel for her: my son is the same height, though he’s 16 now, and it does make life difficult. People do feel the need to comment!

i think all you can do is just be matter of fact and try not to keep mentioning it. I did see a company that made t shirts saying Before you ask, I’m 6’5 😃

A sport is a good idea if she’s interested in anything. Tennis or cricket might be good, or a martial art, my boy gets sick of being asked if he plays rugby and it being assumed he’s good at basketball 🙈 Could provide camaraderie and a group where her height is a bonus. Sport has been good for my DS.

I stopped growing at 12 btw, so hopefully that’ll be her now. I think girls do stop growing earlier than boys.

Cheffymcchef · 30/05/2025 03:50

i stopped growing (height wise) when I reached about 13. I started my periods age 9 and a half so the thing pp is saying about periods is not always correct. Your son will probably shot up when he’s 13/14 as boys do.

she could be a model with that height!

Dorisbonson · 30/05/2025 03:51

That's very tall. Perhaps to help her see height as an advantage look at professional athletics opportunities for her. Her height could be a major advantage in certain sports and worth training for?

3% of Americans over 7ft are professional basketball players if you ages adjusted it that's probably over 10% of 20-35 years olds illustrating how height helps. Long jump and high jump are probably good events. It would also help to be around taller people as she would see it as more normal.

CatsandDogs22 · 30/05/2025 04:04

I know a man from a very tall family (all over 6 foot) - one of his sisters chose to take hormones from when she reached 6,4” - not because there was anything wrong with her, just didn’t want to get any taller and the doctors could see from the scans (tests? I don’t know I heard this second hand) that she was otherwise going to keep growing.

So if it is really bothering her I guess you could look into that - have the doctors said where her bone growth is at?

I hope it gets easier for her as the other kids grow around her - as others have said boys don’t grow until a bit later

Original poster
BadAtTecnology35 · 30/05/2025 08:36

LaLaLaLavaChChChChicken · 30/05/2025 03:00

I don’t know about her height, but don’t girls slow down growing before boys do?
Buying shoes must be a nightmare though, I am size 9 and that is bad enough.

We just have to get her men's shoes

OP posts:
Original poster
BadAtTecnology35 · 30/05/2025 08:37

Flipslop · 30/05/2025 03:05

I doubt she will grow much more now given her age and gender.
aww I really feel for her, nobody wants to really stand out at that age. I’d look at loads of ways to boost her self esteem. Is she into sports at all as her height could be a real advantage in many

She does a bit of netball

OP posts:
GingerLiberalFeminist · 30/05/2025 08:39

She will be amazing at netball! I am 5'9" and was in demand on teams at school. And Women's Basketball!

At that height it'll be harder to gain weight like us normal people too!

Do focus on positives and call her an amazon!

Boooook · 30/05/2025 08:43

Is she through puberty, e.g. breast and hip development complete, period or did she just shoot straight up but isn't yet developed?

At what age did she get her period, presuming she has it?

Newgirls · 30/05/2025 08:43

I’ve got a tall daughter. You have to focus on the positives. Does she do athletics? Shed win all the high jump and pole vault competitions and be in real demand. And be surrounded by other women the same. Also netball teams are full of tall people. Modelling? Ballet to help with her posture?

Jollyjoy · 30/05/2025 08:44

Oh bless her. I think you just have to let her feel the self conscious feelings, support her with that, and focus on the positives. Maybe help her have stock replies to any comments that she feels comfortable with. I suppose it’s good to help her understand that people do notice what is different but it doesn’t mean that’s bad, but for her to be prepared that this will be an issue throughout her life so it’s good to learn now how to let it go. Hard at that age though, it’ll take time and reassurance.

beetr00 · 30/05/2025 08:45

@BadAtTecnology35

For confidence, this site

other info here

3luckystars · 30/05/2025 08:45

I agree about the sports. My son is very tall and played basketball where it’s great to be tall.

Silk70 · 30/05/2025 08:49

My view might be clouded by the fact that I'm a short arse who adores the supermodels of the 90s but I would play up how desirable height tends to be in certain societies and discuss with her height bias in the workplace (the idea that tall people tend to be perceived more favourably than their shorter peers).

I wouldn't normally encourage a child to lean into biases or to focus on beauty standards as a means of building their self-esteem(!) but kids can be cruel towards difference so perhaps these positive messages will help to counter some of that and help her to land somewhere in the healthy/ neutral middle?

Mightyhike · 30/05/2025 08:55

I feel for you OP, my DD is 6 foot but yours is much taller - I'm not surprised she's self conscious about it. I agree that she will be in demand on the netball team.

OchAyeTheNo0 · 30/05/2025 08:58

Wow. Bless her, that must be tough to navigate. Has she started her periods? If not, she may get taller.

MsBette · 30/05/2025 09:03

The comments are hard to deal with. I’d speak the school, because at the very least, I’d expect teachers to be capable of refraining to comment on her height. Reducing the instances of this is one small thing that could help.

HopscotchBanana · 30/05/2025 09:07

That's really tall. And I can imagine the comments she gets. A male friend of mine is 6ft 9 and strangers literally cross the street to gawp at him and announce he's tall, at him. He's lost his shit several times. It's all people see. They define him by it. He's "Tall Dave." It's his entire identity against his will.

People are dickheads, OP. It's not usually malicious, but really thoughtless and constant. And not to sugarcoat, it's what DD is going to live with. So. Find something that she will excel in because of her height. There must be something other than just basketball.

It will be a lot easier to go through life if her success is related to her height. Because the comments won't stop. But it's much easier when some bitchy little madam walks up to her and head tilts "ohhhhh it must be soooo hard to find clothes" it will be lovely for DD to respond "I'm a professional xyz, very successful too, so it's not hard for me to find anything."

Oblomov25 · 30/05/2025 09:07

tricky. Maybe just talking to her about how she feels, offering some counselling. To encourage acceptance.

Has a consultant checked all her hormones, estrogen, pituitary etc, just to have medical records noted in her file?

Muffinmam · 30/05/2025 09:11

Move to The Netherlands, put her in basketball.

You’re leaving it too late to get her to start drinking coffee.

Hennipenni08 · 30/05/2025 09:38

I feel you - my daughter is 16 and 6'5. It's hard to stand out being a teenager. I have heard from many women that it gets easier with time - apparently after the age of 17. Meanwhile, I agree with the other posts - try and get her into sports.