Very very tall daughter

[BadAtTecnology35]

My DD12 (13 next month) is now over 6'5 and almost 6'6. How do I help her with this?
I am 6'2 and DH is 6'4 but she's just that bit taller. DS who's 11 is only 5'4 for comparison.

Everyone always mentions it everywhere she goes and that's before they realise her age cause she looks older. Teachers, friends, everyone.

She's quite slim build and has size 14 feet (i know). She used to not mind her height but now she's getting to be the tallest boy or girl in her whole school, I'm hearing more comments about how she hates it.

Will she grow much more? How can I help her build confidence up?

Want to clarify, we've been doctors and no hormone issue/ disease

Absolutely try her with netball. Dd14 is a netballer (only 5”8 but desperately hoping to grow more) her good friend was 6” at 11 she started netball having never played. She’s 14 now and playing for County and also on a Manchester thunder pathway. With exceptional height the higher level teams are happy to work with the girls who have little experience and help them develop. All the girls my dd plays are very envious when a girl with exceptional height join.

Brilliant. Good for her. At almost 6 foot myself, it's only really in netball matches that I fully appreciate my own height. Makes such a difference in the D. I'm not even the tallest in my team... and the others are all jealous of our height. At 6 foot 6 the OP's daughter will be able to make a huge difference, especially as GS and GK, even if she's not a naturally brilliant netballer. I wouldn't fancy trying to shoot against a keeper that tall!

Sorry just seen she does a bit of netball. Maybe have a look round your area and find out which are good clubs…. They will snap up a girl with your DDs height she would probably start as development netballer but would probably progress quickly to performance with good coaching.

@surreygirl1987absolutly right! She originally wanted to play WA but the coaches gently persuaded her that either of the D’s might be a better option 😂
She’s now an exceptional GS. There are least 4 other girls on the squad that are a few inches taller than her.

So glad people are talking about Netball. As a short arse who played the game until I was 50 I would love to have been tall. I agree with taking her along to a local club. I remember a young girl who came to my club, she was over 6 foot and like Bambi on ice but ended up playing for the County.

Oh amazing. Good for your daughter. Impressive stuff!

Would your daughter be interested in athletics at a local club? Her height is a big advantage for field events like shot put or javelin.
Plus, she will be among other tall girls at events.

@surreygirl1987its my daughters friend that’s the 6 footer but dd is super happy for her. Dd would love to grow a couple more inches and keeps asking if she will get any taller 😆 dd is a good netballer and a strong feisty GD but as she progresses she is realising she may be better in mid court unless a growth spurt happens!

Did you ever feel self conscious OP? If so, just relate to her and tell her how you worked through it. Speak positively about your height and what you enjoy about it.
If she's interested in sport, modelling or anything else where her height may be an advantage then encourage that.

Tennis!! She could develop a formidable serve with that height. Get her some coaching.

But I can understand it must be a nightmare for her with self-consciousness. I think I would see a specialist consultant asap to ensure that there is no underlying medical issue (it may simply be that she has genetics for being tall from both sides of the family) plus anything that can be done now to slow/ cease further growth. It is so difficult already for moderately tall women to get clothes/ shoes. I’d also look at taking her on a special trip to go shopping in a country with much taller average heights so that she can choose a lovely new wardrobe of clothes that fit well and in which she feels confident.

I’d even consider moving to a generally taller country so that she doesn’t feel like such an outlier. It’s not at all unusual these days for girls to be around 6ft in the UK but her height is obviously significantly more. People can be so unpleasant and it’s particularly hard at her age where boys have bot yet caught up. Arranging activities/ opportunities for her that will attract other tall people so she has friends a similar height would be very beneficial for her self-esteem.

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The Netherlands would be a good shout for clothes shopping. So many tall people there!

And definite yes to tennis!

She may be too tall for modelling - female models are usually between 5ft 8 and 6ft.

Modeling!

She could also watch Gladiators (the TV show)... celebration of size and strength. Diamond is higher than 6 foot and Bionic is 6 ft 6. I do realise that your daughter is exceptionally tall even by those standards, but might help her to see height as an advantage.

She should check out this group https://thetallsociety.com.

Seriously?

Yes that really is exceptionally tall.
Agree with encouraging basketball etc-there are some statistics about how for every inch over 6 ft there is a massive increase in chances of making it professionally even without much natural ability.
Tbh I’d also be looking at some sort of careful counselling to help her come to to terms with looking very different but without making it out to be a ‘problem’.
And yes to double checking medical.
As you are tall yourself you can always model positivity about your own height.

There are lots of decent comments on here and some mental ones but I seriously think you need to push further with doctors and at the very minimum get her on treatment to stop her growth. This isn't normal and if she continues to grow her body will be under untold stress.

Bless her, this sounds really difficult - sounds like she'll probably stop growing though now. It's good that everything's fine from a medical perspective. I think it'll be great when she finds her "thing", whatever that may be - possibly a sport she'll excel at. It really is so tough when you don't want to stand out, especially at that age. My daughter is actually really quite small for her age and has poor self-esteem, and while it's not the same, this article really helped me figure out how to speak to her: https://weareluna.app/parents/guides/body-image-and-positivity/body-image-tips-for-parents/

It's so hard on them at that age, but could be an advantage later on.

DS's girlfriend is way taller than him. he is very short. She is over 6 ft and wears heels. I admire her for it.

My niece is also incredibly tall and married a very tall man. She just said it was hard at school but in adulthood, she just learned to stand tall and focus on what matters to her, which isn't her height.

Your DD could be very in demand for sports. She could be in demand for catwalk and fashion modelling, if you and she felt okay about this.

I had the opposite issue with very short DS and just showed him loads of examples of short men who had successful careers and love lives. It helped boost his confidence. You could do the same for her. Loads of famous actresses and athletes are over 6'.

H she been checked for any medical condition. I know a couple of sisters who had a condition that made them extremely tall. They had 4 inches removed from both the thighs and arms but they were still uncommonly tall

My DD19 is 6ft 3 and hated being tall as a younger teen and being nicknamed giraffe, but is fine about her height now. She took up rowing at 15 and has found her height a huge advantage in the sport. After taking part in a regatta in the Netherlands she decided to go to university there, partly because she enjoyed not feeling tall amongst the Dutch! I hope your daughter finds her confidence about her height too.

Absolutely! It would be a great weekend trip with her mum, a generous shopping budget and very lovely people there also who I’m sure can help her find clothes that make her look and feel fantastic. Perhaps an appointment with a personal shopper/ stylist? Having confidence in how she looks and clothes that make her feel good will help her with confidence to stand up to spiteful bullies who think it’s their place to make personal comments.

Thanks for all the advice. She's OK at netball because of her height but unlikely to get seriously good at it! Similar with athletics, she's definitely not a throwing girl.

We're very happy with the fact that she's doesn't need medical attention, had it confirmed 😆

I don't think she needs counselling. I might have made her sound like she's always miserable! She's not that bad, she'd just rather not be 6'6 and at times hates it but overall she's quite a happy girl

Like other PPs, I also recommend going to the doctor to rule out any underlying conditions. Anecdotally, my DB was exceedingly tall at 13 and he was under a specialist for some years for monitoring. We had no recent genetic history of anyone being his height.

You are tall as well OP, surely you must have some insight into how she feels and what you could say or do that would be helpful to her? What worked for you?