Very very tall daughter

[BadAtTecnology35]

My DD12 (13 next month) is now over 6'5 and almost 6'6. How do I help her with this?
I am 6'2 and DH is 6'4 but she's just that bit taller. DS who's 11 is only 5'4 for comparison.

Everyone always mentions it everywhere she goes and that's before they realise her age cause she looks older. Teachers, friends, everyone.

She's quite slim build and has size 14 feet (i know). She used to not mind her height but now she's getting to be the tallest boy or girl in her whole school, I'm hearing more comments about how she hates it.

Will she grow much more? How can I help her build confidence up?

Want to clarify, we've been doctors and no hormone issue/ disease

If she is sporty, basketball or rowing would be ideal. She would likely find herself taller than average friends and feel positive about her height rather than self conscious.

That’s great OP. Clearly you’ve done a good job of raising her with inner self-confidence. I definitely think a nice weekend away in the Netherlands for you both would be excellent! Good excuse for mother/ daughter time, also.

Has she tried tennis? The advantage her height would give her with that is huge, and the skills with it in the case of many, many professional players are not down to natural talent very much (a few exceptions, of course) but mostly down to hours of practice.

I also wouldn’t discount modelling. Clothes look so much better on tall people and many modelling agents are often looking for an unusual look. Like in all industries, having something rare is valuable.

I think finding her people will be key, where she doesn’t feel like she is far outside the norm. Even if she doesn’t pursue sports etc to a high level it is a good opportunity to meet other tall people and be in environments where height is viewed positively.

Exchange programmes with the Netherlands or similar countries may be worth considering as she gets a bit older, or the Turing Scheme later on in higher education (the current “replacement” for the idiotic decision to cease being part of ERASMUS).

You know, I reckon she might have already had the basketball suggestion a few million times. 🤔
OP there have to be tall girls groups somewhere. I'm not on fb but if she can spend time with girls in the same situation (and no, she does not have to play basketball if she doesn't want to) then it should help with the feelings of standing out.

I'm very tall for a woman although not as tall as your daughter. All the best to her. It can be hard and it's made harder when you just want to be normal and people keep saying haha are you a model? Do you play basketball?

All I will say is, remind her to have EXCELLENT posture. It doesn't matter what she does, heads will turn when she walks into a room. Have them see glam that they can't possibly aspire to :)

I think you all need a holiday to the Netherlands, she'll feel right at home!

She could be a great swimmer, tennis player, model, or an actress - look at Gwendoline Christie. Or just be a perfectly average herself :)

She’s taller than her dad? That’s unusual! I’m fairly tall at 5’10” so I feel for her, but there’s not much you can do but lean into it I suppose, and arm her with some deadpan phrases for the idiots who like to point out how tall she is.

Re the Netherlands - while you should be okay for clothes (my female cousin there is around 6'3/1.90m), women's shoes in UK 14/EU 48 are unusual even there. The most used online shoe shop there is Omoda - I've just had a look and they only have 2 women's shoes in 48, and they're unisex Keen and Birkenstock sandals.

Support her. Make sure she has trousers that are long enough! She’ll look taller and more awkward if her clothes don’t fit.

Rowing would be brilliant for her and is good as it’s mixed sex and height is a real advantage. Plus it’s a really accessible friendly sport. My daughter loved it, tho’ desperate to grow taller for it (15 yo and only 5’8” and female olympians are mostly 6’2” etc..). I do see very tall netballers at uni events too. For clothes and shoes maybe shopping whilst on holiday in Netherlands, Canada or IUSA??

Would she consider rowing? Rowing clubs are full of tall people!

I think in general people are getting taller. My daughter is 13 and 6ft 1, with a 36” inside leg. She stopped growing around 12 months ago. For clothes and shoes we tend to stick to LTS. Our main problem is school uniform as it’s all logoed, the longest skirt they do is 20” and it ment to come to their knees. 🤦‍♀️

There are very tall women in my family.
and tall men. As a tall woman yourself, you’ll know what it’s like - people just constantly mention height like it’s open season for commentary. So there’s something about surrendering to that, but not taking any nonsense either. Show her how to politely and assertively shut down a conversation if someone is intent on making it topical.

Clothes and shoes are so much better these days. Not slagging off Long Tall Sally, as they were the only port of call for a long time, but now there is more choice especially for younger girls.

Sport has been a great confidence maker for the tallies in my family - a good way to meet other tall folk.

Finally, and perhaps most importantly- hold that head up. No stooping or shoulder-rounding to come down to level of others. Own that wonderful height. Good luck.

Oh gosh OP I am sorry this must be so tough for your DD.

My ds is about 6ft6 and works in a customer-facing role – he says people constantly say to him “oh aren’t you tall” I mean he is, but if he was fat, or short, or thin, you wouldn’t say it would you?

Richard Osman who is a similar height says the same. So I really sympathise. That’s very very tall for a 12yo girl. Who can say if she has finished growing? But has she started her periods as that is often a sign of stopping growing (my little DD who is about 5ft3 stopped growing when she was about 12/13).
Size 14 feet must be a headache too.

Obvs there is nothing you can do about this but ofc there are positives – she can see at gigs and reach all the stuff at the back of the supermarket shelves. Also those long trousers in the shops will be the right length for her.

Does she do any sport? She might be an amazing runner or race walker with her height, or for sure a high jumper. The wonderful Serbian teenage high jumper Angelina Topic is about 6ft tall. And the Olympic silver medallist Nicola Olyslagers is 6ft1.

(Not RTFT so apols if I am repeating anything)

ETA quickly - great post from @bibliotek - yyy get her to own her height. My DD would love to be six inches taller. I know we all want what we've not got but she should walk proudly.

Sign her up for netball! My 13 year old is also really tall for her age, and has progressed so quickly! Your daughter will be highly sought after in a local netball club! Her height will be a huge advantage and she will feel it’s one of her strengths!

Unless she asks to do sports don’t push it on her ! I was considered tall at school and it was assumed I’d be great at sports I was utterly shit at them and it was humiliating

This

Or maybe ask her what she wants to be signed up for ? She shouldn’t be defined by her physical appearance and pushed into things society thinks are right but instead be allowed the choice and freedom to choose what she wants and to have people believe in her

My son is 15 and 6ft 5". He appears to be still growing. He loves being tall, and wants to be taller! He stands with good posture and makes jokes about everyone being so tiny. I think your daughter just needs to own it. Hopefully her confidence will grow as she gets older 🙂

There is a girl called Georgia Rowe who plays netball for Wales- she is the Uk super leagues’ tallest player at 6’5. She didn’t play netball until she was 16! Now she does it as a full time job. Link here for her crazy story- har dad asked the Welsh netball coach at the time to look at her because she was a 6’5 couch potato 😂
www.southwalesargus.co.uk/sport/13495372.how-georgia-rowe-went-from-couch-potato-teen-to-the-netball-world-cup/

I think sport is good for confidence and also good as she may find other tall girls to be friends with- makes it so much easier to have a convo in a group.

Babyboomtastic, I agree totally with your post. I was 6'2" at 14, that's taller than 99.98% of the female population - 6'5" is very, very tall for a 13 year old, and I would definitely be speaking to a gp.

There's a difference, though, between being five nine or ten, which is the height that most supermodels are, and between being nearly six and a half feet. That is exceptionally tall, especially for a girl. I am five eight and very happy with that, I would be happy being a little taller, but I wouldn't want to be that much taller. I'm not saying that there is anything wrong at all with OP's daughter's appearance, but I think it's a bit disingenuous to pretend that a woman of well over six foot is the beauty ideal. That just isn't true.

I agree that it is important to try and encourage her to stand tall, even though it accentuates her height. Stooping is not good for children's malleable bones. She doesn't want to be tall and round-shouldered if she can possibly help it.

It may be worth finding some positive, tall female influencers online that she can look up to, if you haven’t already? Eg Zanna van Dijk on Insta.

We have a 14 year old who is 6ft 1" I think her growth is slowing down now but she still grew a little last year. I think getting into sports where height is an advantage like netball or basketball could be good. It has certainly helped my daughter to feel like it's a good thing. People continually commenting on it though is frustrating. No idea how to stop that, wish she could give a great one liner (which my daughter isn't brave enough to do!).