Can I leave a 15 and 17 year old alone for 6 days whilst I go on holiday?

[Springhare76]

DH, DS3 and I have booked to go to Turkey for May half term. DS1 17 and DS2, 15, don't want to come as they want to stay in London to hang out with their friends, do sport etc. Both are getting to the age when they don't really want to go on holiday with their mum and stepdad. I had arranged for them to stay with their dad who lives 10 minutes away but they say they want to stay in the house and do their own thing (they're not overly keen on their dad). In any event, even if they did stay with him then they both have keys to the house and would definitely come and hang out here and stay over. Question is, is it safe to leave them alone at this age? They are both tough and self sufficient but probably won't be great at clearing up after themselves and there is a moderate risk DS1 will have a party or at a minimum invite friends over although I don't think he'd be really silly and invite loads. I feel guilty for going away without them but at the same time need a break and to spend some time with DS3 and DH who I barely see due to work schedules (pass like ships in the night). Thoughts?

Not in a million years would I do this.
They're still too young to be trusted.
They'd probably hold a party and wreck your house.

100% not.

Until they're 18 they go on holiday with you or unfortunately you don't go. Unless they can stay with a relative for the duration.

I have 17 and 15 year old ds's. They're both generally really good kids. No way in hell would I leave them home alone for nearly a week though.

Is their dad a responsible parent - if not staying with them will he check in on them, maybe cook a meal to make sure they have eaten, put a wash on etc. without having a “safe adult” to keep an eye out I think that length of time is too long.

It depends on the children. I left mine at a similar age, along with the family dog. They were absolutely fine.

Not in a millions years would I have left my two alone at that age, even though they are great kids.

No way. The 17yo is not responsible enough and the 15yo is a child. 6 days is a long time. I left mine for the first time for 2 days when they were 16/18.

God no.

Ha! Only if you’re not bothered that your house may be trashed whilst you’re away. Your youngest may only invite a few people but I’ve heard lots and lots of times where those few people told other people who told other people etc etc. I’d insist they come on holiday with you.

Until they're 18 is a bit intense. I moved across the country to uni at 17. Depends on their personalities, although I can see an issue with 17 being responsible for 15. If Dad nearby and can pop in (along with other friends/family on hand if needed) I would go for it.

If I thought my child was the sort to have a party, I definitely wouldn’t do this. Some kids are sensible but I know of two families that got their house trashed because a small gathering turned into a huge party.

I'm lax but not that lax. Mine also want to go on holiday with us still (20, 18 and 15). I've left them alone at various points for a night or two but 6 day is asking for trouble.

Take their keys off them? Although they're probably savvy enough to have made copies!

No

6 days is too long although the older DC could be left alone for that long. I would only leave them both for a couple of nights especially if abroad. Can't they just sleep at their dad's and pop home during the day?

No, especially not for that long and with you abroad. If they could be trusted not to have friends round at all and it was a couple of nights with you not too far away (in the UK) and you had trusted neighbours who would keep an eye on them then perhaps. I know the older one could be off to uni in a year but that is different from being left in charge of a house and a younger sibling.

My older boys are similar ages and I have to say I wouldn’t leave them yet. I just think they would see it as an opportunity to have parties etc. I also want to hold onto family holidays as long as we can so would make them go. If I was thinking of leaving them to trial it ina year or two I would go away somewhere close for a night or two and se how it goes..

At 17 you should be capable of living independently surely? My best friend moved out at 16 to a bedsit then had her own flat at 17. It didn’t seem strange or like she was too young.

I guess only you know your individual child though. If you’re worried about parties then I wouldn’t.

The ‘Party’ invite goes on social media
Before you know it your house is ruined with vomit and worse
Lots of drunk 14-17 year olds is NOT what you want, especially when you are abroad

I think it depends on your kids - how sensible are they?
Are there responsible adults nearby that they could contact / could pop in?

a trial weekend is a good idea

No way. If you were holidaying in the same country and could drive home in 2-3 hours in an emergency then maybe, but not if you are flying overseas.

Crazy idea.

Absolutely not, I’m surprised you are even considering it

No

Got 17 and 14.5yo boys here who are v good and well behaved but would be a big no from me on this. I’d want an older adult in the house to be responsible for the youngest DC. That shouldn’t be the 17yo’s responsibility. In your situation I’d insist they stayed at dad’s for the nights and breakfast/dinner even if they go back to yours during the day. Definitely wouldn’t leave them unchecked at home together to fend for themselves for so long.