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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Can I leave a 15 and 17 year old alone for 6 days whilst I go on holiday?

667 replies

Springhare76 · 14/05/2025 23:15

DH, DS3 and I have booked to go to Turkey for May half term. DS1 17 and DS2, 15, don't want to come as they want to stay in London to hang out with their friends, do sport etc. Both are getting to the age when they don't really want to go on holiday with their mum and stepdad. I had arranged for them to stay with their dad who lives 10 minutes away but they say they want to stay in the house and do their own thing (they're not overly keen on their dad). In any event, even if they did stay with him then they both have keys to the house and would definitely come and hang out here and stay over. Question is, is it safe to leave them alone at this age? They are both tough and self sufficient but probably won't be great at clearing up after themselves and there is a moderate risk DS1 will have a party or at a minimum invite friends over although I don't think he'd be really silly and invite loads. I feel guilty for going away without them but at the same time need a break and to spend some time with DS3 and DH who I barely see due to work schedules (pass like ships in the night). Thoughts?

OP posts:
CoralOP · 15/05/2025 08:10

I went on holiday abroad with my boyfriend and again friends when I was 17 so absolutely could of stayed at home for a week so it depends on the 15 year old.
I also had a job and was in the process of moving in with an older friend so I would have no issues leaving the 17 year old if you trust them.

Mischance · 15/05/2025 08:10

The thing about parties (and they WILL have one!) is that word goes out and gatecrashers appear. They are too young to police this and keep control.

You either take them away with you or don't go. Sorry ........

Peacepleaselouise · 15/05/2025 08:11

I’d probably see if I could find a family member to drop in on them every day, maybe eat dinner together. I don’t think it’s a wildly crazy idea but equally I’d want some sort of adult checking in.

HundredPercentUnsure · 15/05/2025 08:11

Teaacup · 15/05/2025 08:01

They need to stay at their dad’s. I’d also take their keys. They’ll definitely have a party due to peer pressure. I went to many house parties when I was under 16 because my friends or friends of friends’ parents weren’t at home.

Agree. Age 15/16 was rife for house parties when I was that age. I can still tell you what I drank, where I puked and who I snogged at each of them, too. One of them lasted 3 days! 🫣😂

Ahhh, fun times 🤩

...don't do it OP. Insist they come with you, stay at Dad's or just don't go.

Zanatdy · 15/05/2025 08:11

I left mine for 5 days, they were probably 13 and 17. Very sensible, they went out for dinner a couple of times. Depends on the kids, I knew mine wouldn’t bring people over plus I had a camera.

andweallloveclover · 15/05/2025 08:13

We left our very sensible girls at this age to go on an overnight stay an hour away but made sure our neighbours (who are our best friends) knew we were away and they had someone to go to in an emergency.

No way would I have left them to go abroad for 6 whole days.

Sorry, they go with you or go to their Dad's. Another year and it would make a difference but in my opinion they are not quite there yet.

Icanttakethisanymore · 15/05/2025 08:15

Hmmm - mine are 1 & 3 so I’m a long way off this but I think 15 is too young and 17 is too young to take responsibility for a 15 yo. I’d leave a 17 yo on their own though.

chocorabbit · 15/05/2025 08:18

Ihmppmmwtbwote · 15/05/2025 06:26

I wouldn't leave a 17yo in charge of a 15yo. That is completely unfair.

Do either of them have exams this year? I think it's really unfair to leave your child right in the middle of their gcses or A levels with the amount of stress they comes with. They need a parent there with them emotionally as well as physically.

Exactly this! SIL FO abroad to be with some idiot while her DD is in her GCSE year. I can't believe people are so selfish and don't pan something where every member of the family can participate.

MyDeftDuck · 15/05/2025 08:18

You say that your 17 year old will invite a few friends………..problem arises when those friends invite more friends, they in turn invite more and the party gets posted on social media! Before you know it your home will be trashed! And I wouldn’t think it ideal that they had access to the house during the day tbh…….parties are not just allocated for the evenings.

Hell would freeze over before I left them if they were mine.

Raindropsandroses9 · 15/05/2025 08:18

I would say to them sadly we are having to cancel our much needed holiday because on reflection until you are both a bit older we feel its irresponsible to leave you both on your own. When they realise the consequences and the fact they're not being allowed to do this they may or may not change their minds.

TooGoodToGoto · 15/05/2025 08:20

dontcomeatme · 14/05/2025 23:21

Until they're 18 they go on holiday with you or unfortunately you don't go. Unless they can stay with a relative for the duration.

They can stay with their father, they don’t want to.

But they would be staying there if they were my children.

TooGoodToGoto · 15/05/2025 08:21

MyDeftDuck · 15/05/2025 08:18

You say that your 17 year old will invite a few friends………..problem arises when those friends invite more friends, they in turn invite more and the party gets posted on social media! Before you know it your home will be trashed! And I wouldn’t think it ideal that they had access to the house during the day tbh…….parties are not just allocated for the evenings.

Hell would freeze over before I left them if they were mine.

My niece invited a “few” friends….. via SM!

it didn’t end well, needless to say.

Starzinsky · 15/05/2025 08:22

I don't see an issue if you trust them not to have parties. At 15 mine went to festivals and on holiday with friends and they are much safer at home than in an unknown place.

HarryVanderspeigle · 15/05/2025 08:29

Why would you miss out on a holiday because they don't want to go? You have said they can stay with their dad. They also don't want to do that, but it is perfectly fine for them to do so. It's not like you are offering two horrible choices, holiday or stay with a parent for a few days.

MajorEruption · 15/05/2025 08:29

I moved out into my own place at 17😁

My DM would go off on holiday on her own when I was 15, I was fine.

LoveFridaynight · 15/05/2025 08:33

People are saying they wouldn't leave their child until they are 18. The eldest is 17, is he suddenly going to become really mature and grown up when he has his next birthday?
I wouldn't have an issue with him staying at home. 15 year old is more tricky and I think he should stay with his dad or go on holiday. He may not be keen on his dad but surely he can manage for 6 days? He probably won't see much of him anyway.
If you leave your eldest tell him what you expect. Lay down rules, especially about friends. Remind him if he breaks your trust it will take ages to rebuild.
Does your ex live close? If so and your 17 year old is at home can he pop round every other day or something just to make sure everything is ok (obviously depends on how you feel about your ex being at your house).

Sunshine1500 · 15/05/2025 08:33

if never dreamed of leaving 2 and taking 1 on holiday especially under 18’s. A definite no for me.

Calmdownpeople · 15/05/2025 08:33

Springhare76 · 14/05/2025 23:52

Thanks all. Very helpful. My gut is telling me not to go although it's a shame as we have flights booked as they were supposed to come but we can reschedule.

Or make them go on holiday with you? I know they don’t want to go but how many more family holidays do you have left? They can live without their friends for a week. I would be suspicious if they didn’t want to go and wanted to stay home by themselves.

TheKeeperOfTissues · 15/05/2025 08:36

Only you know your children.

My mum left us at similar ages.
Only disaster was the hurricane 🌀 😂
(Showing my age😂)

I was the wild child, I never had a party in my family home.

I wouldn’t have left my child at home alone, they too had a wild streak.

HeySugarSugar · 15/05/2025 08:36

fourelementary · 15/05/2025 08:06

Speak to them and sit down and agree rules including no party and no mention of having a gaff on social media.
Tell their dad to check in with them.
Fit a ring doorbell or camera type thing you can drop in to check out the state of the house.

Explain this is a test in trust which you need them to pass- and then trust them. I have adult “kids” who both moved out age 18 and had been given trust to be left prior to this- maybe at a similar age actually- 17 and 14 for a weekend anyway. It’s a good thing to have responsibilities and respect. They step up to that.

Absolutely. This is exactly what we did. They even put the bins out unasked because they were so desperate to be seen as responsible and independent.

Some of the replies on this thread about nearly adults are insane! No wonder HR managers despair of getting these kids to act like adults when they get jobs 🙄

LadyDanburysHat · 15/05/2025 08:37

I went away for 3 nights in April with DH, leaving my DS2 17 and DD 13 home alone. They have a n older brother who checked on them, and a friend of mine locally if they needed anything. But I know my kids are not the type to have parties or go crazy. We have a camera in the house for checking on the cat if we are away overnight, and I have them on Life360. It was all fine.

Cyclebabble · 15/05/2025 08:39

My brother did do this, for a weekend. He came back to the fire brigade damping down his burnt out kitchen. Kids had a party (despite saying they would not) and lit candles to create an atmosphere.

LT1233 · 15/05/2025 08:42

I would because my kids literally never go out anywhere other than to school and back and I have an internal cctv camera to keep an eye on them, plus PIL's round the corner (but I wouldn't trust them with the cooking aspect of staying alive tbh). The fact that yours are out and about all the time and have loads of friends would probably make me say no in your situation.

Travelban · 15/05/2025 08:42

I wouldn't but mainly because I wouldn't enjoy it, having to constantly check and worry about them. It would run the holiday for me. Also Turkey is far and if theres a problem it's not like you can pop back.

We have 15 and 17 year old too. DH and I went to France for a weekend for a big birthday but the 18 year old brother came back from uni to look after them. To be fair he didn't have to do much as they are very self sufficient but I felt good knowing he was there, can drive and take charge. Wouldn't have left them for a week even with him there.

Chocolatnoir · 15/05/2025 08:43

I have just left my dc 15,16,18 for the first time for a 6 day business trip to the EU.

They were fine but I batch cooked meals, left a list of chores for each child, informed our nearest neighbour. Strictly no parties but they are not interested in having one anyway.

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