Can I leave a 15 and 17 year old alone for 6 days whilst I go on holiday?

[Springhare76]

DH, DS3 and I have booked to go to Turkey for May half term. DS1 17 and DS2, 15, don't want to come as they want to stay in London to hang out with their friends, do sport etc. Both are getting to the age when they don't really want to go on holiday with their mum and stepdad. I had arranged for them to stay with their dad who lives 10 minutes away but they say they want to stay in the house and do their own thing (they're not overly keen on their dad). In any event, even if they did stay with him then they both have keys to the house and would definitely come and hang out here and stay over. Question is, is it safe to leave them alone at this age? They are both tough and self sufficient but probably won't be great at clearing up after themselves and there is a moderate risk DS1 will have a party or at a minimum invite friends over although I don't think he'd be really silly and invite loads. I feel guilty for going away without them but at the same time need a break and to spend some time with DS3 and DH who I barely see due to work schedules (pass like ships in the night). Thoughts?

Are you talking about those toddlers that were left alone? That is a clear example of likely to cause suffering or damage to health because its clear that toddlers are not able to look after themselves or leave the house in the event of a fire. Entirely different to teenagers.

I'll stick to my moral high ground anyway.

All in favour of buzzing off on holiday and leaving the kids?

It seems you can do just that and there is nothing in law to tell you otherwise. Have a lovely holiday, enjoy yourselves why don't you? There is no law against it.

So why the thread?

Well that's OK then.

The general consensus of opinion on this thread, for the benefit of those who do not know the law, or know better, you can go off and leave the kids as there is no law against it.

I do most sincerely apologise for insisting it is not a wise thing to leave your kids to fend for themselves.

Why not abandon them completely? Why even bother to have them in the first place?

The UK Government says - according to mums on Mumsnet - that there are no laws about leaving your children on their own. Take advantage and enjoy yourselves.

What are you talking about? You don't have a moral high ground. You have an opinion.

There are more?

The law does not define what is reasonable. The law allows for prosecution if harm comes to a child and it is deemed unreasonable to have exposed them to that harm. The NSPCC gives guidelines, but each parent has to risk assess.

• I risk assessed that my children were a) shortly going to turn 18 and b) shortly turning 16.

-I had given them a full list of tasks that needed to be completed, and instructions for doing them. -I had meal planned with them and bought the necessary ingredients. -I ensured they had access to money -I arranged for my parents to check in with them at least daily -My parents live 1 mile away - 3 minutes by car at normal driving speed. -I spoke to them, messaged them, and video called them every day.

My risk assessment was that they would cope well for 6 days, and they did.

They are children.

they had a choice to go or stay at their dads and they chose dads.

So that’s non negotiable.

I like to think that my opinions are moral.

If you think it is not amoral to leave the kids on their own, what do you suppose the world will be like if everyone thought like you?

I apologise to you if my morals are anathema to you and others.

I would not enjoy myself if I left my kids on their own, but if you can enjoy yourself for a week knowing they are on their own, so be it.

I beg to differ. I have that prerogative.

Good for you. Have a good holiday.

YOU do not know the law.

Once again on the off chance it actually goes through, THERE IS NO LAW. There is no law banning parents from leaving 15 and 17 year old alone.

I had it. Well, I had 6 days to visit my sick relative. It wasn't my first choice, but it was necessary.

That's what came up when I searched children dying in a house fire while left alone. What case are you talking about?

@llizzie you are delusional! A 17 year old is not a minor child fgs!
So you can join the army at 16 but according to your made up law, not be left home alone? You’re talking nonsense.
I’m fairly sure the ‘at risk’ is referring to actual minors, ya know..babies, toddlers, young children, tweens ans early teens, and those with additional needs and unable to look after themselves safely.
Should I be taking my ‘minor’ 17year 11month daughter with me every time I leave the house? Get a grip..🙄

Yeah I don't think some posters on here no what "at risk" means.

They also confuse morals with the law, state that "the law is right" and think charities make laws.

Of course you can’t leave actual children. I’m on about 17-year-olds who can legally leave home if they wish. Since they are legally allowed to live alone there are no laws being broken by one being home alone for a week.

No way apart from the party / rowdy teenagers element what if they became ill?

Nope! Maybe for a night but not 6 and not while I was hours and hours away.

I think it would be a good idea for you to look up what is meant by 'minor children'. The age of majority is 18.

If a minor joins the forces, then the forces are in 'loco parentis'. In the UK that refers to a legal and practical concept where individuals or organisations take on some of the responsibilities of a parent while caring for the child. It means they have a duty of care and are expected to act in the child's best interests.

Anyone under the age of 18 is considered a minor child.

Your post is telling parents who do not know the law, that they can go away and enjoy themselves and leave the child at home alone.

If your minor child left home wouldn't you worry? Do you think the minor child left alone won't worry about his parents being away? How can you expect a minor child to act rationally if they are worried something might happen to his mum, or if the mum will return? Mobile phones are all very well, but from abroad it is expensive. If you can afford to pay for that, you should afford to pay someone to be there in case of need.

But what do you care?

Have it your own way. Why should I worry about your DC? Leave them, and hope nothing goes wrong.

Hope they don't miss you. I wouldn't miss a parent who did that.

I hope that is not passed on to your children and they leave your grandchildren when - if - they have any.

Are you deliberately telling parents who may be ignorant that no one cares if they leave the child alone?

The law is that you can be arrested for putting them at risk if left alone overnight. They could be at risk of worrying about their mum who decides to take a holiday and leaves them. They are at risk simply because there is no one there.

I hope your children are safe when you leave them alone.

How many adults feel bereft and lonely when their partner/spouse walks out and leaves them, or goes away and leaves them to cope alone?

The law is that you can be arrested for putting them at risk if left alone overnight. They could be at risk of worrying about their mum who decides to take a holiday and leaves them. They are at risk simply because there is no one there.

I think it entirely depends on the teenager @llizzie. My DD (20) would positively shoo us out the door when she was 17 because, like me, she loves spending time on her own in the house. DS (17 later this year) is similar.
Not everyone is worried or scared when their parents aren’t there, especially if they have friends or neighbors who’ll help them when needed.

I lived on my own at 16 and my parents went across the world on holiday shortly after I moved out BUT I absolutely was NOT ready. It shouldn’t have been allowed to happen. Even the most mature of kids, don’t have the problem solving skills and life experience to be without an adult for an extended period of time at that age.

Absolutely 💯 not

You clearly have some codependency issues that are clouding your views here. It is not normal or healthy for people in their late teens or adults to be worried about being home alone. Normal healthy people expect their loved ones to return after an absence, its something they learn as toddlers when they go through separation anxiety and if they have a secure attachment with their parents that anxiety decreases as they come to realise that mum/dad always comes back. If they never developed that secure attachment (and this is something I have experienced as my DD had attached issues as a young child due to custody situation which took a lot of work to change to a secure attachment) then they might grow up continuing to feel anxious and worried when loved ones are out of sight. If you have children like that then yes you shouldn't leave them but the vast majority do not have attachment issues.

If your minor child left home wouldn't you worry? Do you think the minor child left alone won't worry about his parents being away? How can you expect a minor child to act rationally if they are worried something might happen to his mum, or if the mum will return?

you need medical help for that level of anxiety, that's not normal.
And don't take my answer out of context, we are talking about a 17 yo here 😂