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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Can I leave a 15 and 17 year old alone for 6 days whilst I go on holiday?

667 replies

Springhare76 · 14/05/2025 23:15

DH, DS3 and I have booked to go to Turkey for May half term. DS1 17 and DS2, 15, don't want to come as they want to stay in London to hang out with their friends, do sport etc. Both are getting to the age when they don't really want to go on holiday with their mum and stepdad. I had arranged for them to stay with their dad who lives 10 minutes away but they say they want to stay in the house and do their own thing (they're not overly keen on their dad). In any event, even if they did stay with him then they both have keys to the house and would definitely come and hang out here and stay over. Question is, is it safe to leave them alone at this age? They are both tough and self sufficient but probably won't be great at clearing up after themselves and there is a moderate risk DS1 will have a party or at a minimum invite friends over although I don't think he'd be really silly and invite loads. I feel guilty for going away without them but at the same time need a break and to spend some time with DS3 and DH who I barely see due to work schedules (pass like ships in the night). Thoughts?

OP posts:
EconomyClassRockstar · 14/05/2025 23:45

I would leave the 17 yo at a push but not the 15 yo. Ideally, I would try and work out ways to make the holiday more teenage friendly. Family holidays are important.

1SillySossij · 14/05/2025 23:50

A 15 year old cannot be left 6 days without adult supervision. If school got wind of this you would f be in trouble with SS.

Notquitegrownup2 · 14/05/2025 23:51

Another one with 2 boys here who wouldn't risk it. They are pretty sensible but some of their friends are not. And then there's friends of friends . . .

Not sure if your house insurance would cover you if damage happened by people they invited in (and that's a good reason to give your boys as an explanation as to why they have to stay with their dad or come with you.)

It's heartbreaking to see a house trashed by teens. And that's just the material damage. Hopefully no-one overdoes the drink and needs medical help, if you leave them in charge of the house . . .

Original poster
Springhare76 · 14/05/2025 23:52

Thanks all. Very helpful. My gut is telling me not to go although it's a shame as we have flights booked as they were supposed to come but we can reschedule.

OP posts:
Oystersandchampagne · 14/05/2025 23:53

A friend left her teenagers at home in Brighton many years ago . Her husband was very well known nationally and their house was absolutely destroyed,it made the headlines in national newspapers…just don’t take the risk !!!

TeenLifeMum · 14/05/2025 23:53

My 17yo is currently an emotional rollercoaster (panicking about growing up because we’re having to talk about Unis etc). She just came into my room for a cuddle saying she misses me - I’m here she’s just been out with friends a bit this week so seen me less. (It’s time of the month too for her). While this isn’t a regular thing and it surprised me, I wouldn’t leave her for 6 nights. That said, she would want to come on holiday with us… so clearly a very different child.

next door’s boys were left alone for a weekend (17 and 21) and the 17yo threw a 48 hour party and trashed the house. They were supposed to have a friend each round for pizza and football!

Italiangreyhound · 15/05/2025 00:18

No.

Nevertrustacop · 15/05/2025 00:27

If it were 18 and 15 I would. But making a 17 year old responsible for a 15 year old just seems a step too far.

desperatedaysareover · 15/05/2025 00:38

Just a thought. Can you not use technology? As in set up a few cameras at strategic points, tell them you’re monitoring the house for the security of the whole family because it’s not unusual for people to come uninvited into houses where there are teens staying alone if it gets out that there’s no adults. So you’re not accusing them of anything, just ensuring nothing silly happens and also you can keep eyes on the property, and them, for their own safety.

If something else goes wrong, someone breaks their leg/boiler goes on the blink or whatever, their dad is on hand nearby. They may not like spending time
at his house but would they not call him in as the cavalry if they ran into bother? It’s not like both parents are out of the country. I believe in trusting kids (until I’m proven to have been stupid for trusting them lol). My parents were paranoid and it didn’t stop me doing anything, just made me do it in riskier ways and lie about where I was.

Yassnass145 · 15/05/2025 00:40

I would say no ...

Givesoner · 15/05/2025 00:42

Springhare76 · 14/05/2025 23:52

Thanks all. Very helpful. My gut is telling me not to go although it's a shame as we have flights booked as they were supposed to come but we can reschedule.

That’s just daft. Take their keys if they’re not trustworthy enough not to go and stay at your house alone and leave them at their other parent’s house,

MidnightMeltdown · 15/05/2025 00:47

17 is definitely old enough! They are old enough to leave home at 16. Not sure whether you can leave 15 year old under the care of 17 year old though.

SnowFrogJelly · 15/05/2025 01:01

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 14/05/2025 23:18

Not in a million years would I do this.
They're still too young to be trusted.
They'd probably hold a party and wreck your house.

This totally

EndlessTreadmill · 15/05/2025 01:01

24hrs yes, longer than that, no.

Personally, I would probably force them to go with you on holiday, especially the 15 year old. They may moan beforehand, but they will enjoy it once they are there. And they don't have to stay with you, then can go and do their own thing - but at least you will be able to keep on eye on them!

Youstolemygoddamnhouse · 15/05/2025 01:05

Depends how mature the kids are. When does the 17 year old turn 18? Most 17 year olds are doing Alevels and are already going out drinking, can drive etc. Also it’s nearly June so Alevel exams will be over in a few weeks and most will start uni in four months and usually act like adults. I was left at 16 for a week as I had my GCSEs and was completely fine. Most my friends were also left in the house at 16. No one died. No one’s house got trashed. This was 2004 however. At 17, I also house sat and looked after my 12 year old sister. Again no one died and was trusted to ask for help if needed. Many parents I think baby their kids and them kids usually are not equipped for uni life. If you trust them then go for it. Make sure they have access to an adult close by incase anything does happen. But they need to grow up some day. So why not now.

Youstolemygoddamnhouse · 15/05/2025 01:06

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 14/05/2025 23:18

Not in a million years would I do this.
They're still too young to be trusted.
They'd probably hold a party and wreck your house.

17 is not too young at all. At 18 most kids move away to uni, move out or get a job.

Youstolemygoddamnhouse · 15/05/2025 01:10

blacksantanapkin · 14/05/2025 23:37

At 17 you should be capable of living independently surely? My best friend moved out at 16 to a bedsit then had her own flat at 17. It didn’t seem strange or like she was too young.

I guess only you know your individual child though. If you’re worried about parties then I wouldn’t.

Absolutely this. 17 isn’t that young. If your child at 17 can’t look after themselves independent ly at 17 then something has went wrong.

Youstolemygoddamnhouse · 15/05/2025 01:13

Springhare76 · 14/05/2025 23:52

Thanks all. Very helpful. My gut is telling me not to go although it's a shame as we have flights booked as they were supposed to come but we can reschedule.

I honestly wouldn’t trust the advice of strangers on the internet. If they are responsible then why not? Plenty of 17 year olds go on holiday for a week without parents. Far to many parents baby their kids these days

GravyBoatWars · 15/05/2025 01:18

I'm generally one of the less cautious mums on here and that's a definite no from me. One night maybe depending on the trustworthiness of the specific teens, multiple nights while you're out of the country absolutely not.

My (then single) father travelled a lot when I was a teen and his solution was to have a roughly university-aged child of a coworker or family friend come stay with me when needed. They weren't asked to actually babysit or do any specific tasks beyond being in the house overnight (and making sure I was too, minus any unapproved guests) and knowing what to do if there was an emergency. And of course I knew that there was someone who would likely narc on me if I got up to anything worrisome. He paid them but it was closer to house/pet sitting money than babysitting money. Is that an option you could explore?

BeEagerEagle · 15/05/2025 01:19

No. Either they stay at their Dad’s and you take their keys, or they go on holiday with you.

Renabrook · 15/05/2025 01:19

No but to be perfectly honest I would not have booked before deciding really

BeEagerEagle · 15/05/2025 01:20

GravyBoatWars · 15/05/2025 01:18

I'm generally one of the less cautious mums on here and that's a definite no from me. One night maybe depending on the trustworthiness of the specific teens, multiple nights while you're out of the country absolutely not.

My (then single) father travelled a lot when I was a teen and his solution was to have a roughly university-aged child of a coworker or family friend come stay with me when needed. They weren't asked to actually babysit or do any specific tasks beyond being in the house overnight (and making sure I was too, minus any unapproved guests) and knowing what to do if there was an emergency. And of course I knew that there was someone who would likely narc on me if I got up to anything worrisome. He paid them but it was closer to house/pet sitting money than babysitting money. Is that an option you could explore?

With all the awful stories you hear about sexual abuse I would not be inviting a stranger to the children over to stay. Their father has offered to have them.

GravyBoatWars · 15/05/2025 01:30

BeEagerEagle · 15/05/2025 01:20

With all the awful stories you hear about sexual abuse I would not be inviting a stranger to the children over to stay. Their father has offered to have them.

Show quote history

I didn't say stranger and these are not young children. It's entirely possible that OP doesn't know anyone who would be a comfortable fit but it's also worth thinking on whether they actually do.

It sounds like OP isn't sure that the boys aren't going to end up at the house unsupervised quite a bit if they're told to stay with their father so it's not clear that's actually safe solution.

whynotmereally · 15/05/2025 05:47

I did about ten years ago. We went away for 6 days and left dd 15 and dd17. Their dad lived 40 min away, their auntie a couple of streets away and both sets of grandparents were in a ten min drive. We also have lovely neighbours we know well. They were totally fine.

WorldMap24 · 15/05/2025 06:03

I would do a night or two. Not six though. I'd stick to the original plan, sleep at dad's but let them hang out in the day at yours if they want