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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Do I let my 14yo daughters boyfriend come on holiday with us?

333 replies

peachie82 · 26/04/2025 07:08

My daughter is 14 and has a boyfriend of 4 months although they have been friends longer . He’s a nice lad and they seem to get along very well. They spend a lot of time together either just the two of them or with their wider friends groups.

at May half term we usually go to a caravan park at the coast for a few nights. She’s asked if he can come this time. The caravan has three bedrooms so he would have his own room but it’s right next to what would be her room. I feel they are at the stage where things might happen, certainly if it was up to him. She does seem very comfortable with him and so far he seems to have been respectful and takes things at her pace, but I’m sure she doesn’t tell me everything.

i just want people’s options about if you think we should take him with us or if you think it’s a bad idea. She loves the idea of them having a little holiday together and they are old enough to go off for walks etc together as it’s a very small and safe place, beach, arcades, shops, places to get food etc.

I haven’t asked his mum yet, she might say no anyway.

OP posts:
Loopytiles · 26/04/2025 07:10

No way, not sensible, OTT for a DC of that young age, short relationship, and your DC is under age of consent. Partners / girlfriends / boyfriends joining family holidays is an adult thing IMO.

Candlesandmatches · 26/04/2025 07:12

No. When you are an adult and can pay for your own holiday you go away with your girlfriend/boyfriend. It’s a serious step in a relationship. They are 14. It’s too young and too early.

TropicofCapricorn · 26/04/2025 07:13

No.

SoftandQuiet · 26/04/2025 07:13

No, sorry, not this year. Sounds lovely though, invite a girl friend.

Sauvin · 26/04/2025 07:14

At 14, no. It smacks of a serious relationship and you don’t want that at 14.

Do you have other children?

TropicofCapricorn · 26/04/2025 07:14

A friend, perhaps, if a girl and they'd been friends since they were 8 or something.... But boyfriend of 4 months at 14? Not a chance.

SouthLondonMum22 · 26/04/2025 07:15

Not a chance. I wouldn't be encouraging a serious relationship at that age anyway.

Adults or older teens/almost adults go on holidays when they are in serious relationships, not children who are barely teenagers.

faerietales · 26/04/2025 07:15

Absolutely not.

CuriousKangaroo · 26/04/2025 07:15

Absolutely not. They are only 14.

Travelban · 26/04/2025 07:15

I have brought dd's boyfriend on holiday with us, we have just got back. Same age and been together 6 months.

There was a lot of us (6 kids in total).so it was quite diluted but it worked really well. They had an absolute blast. I didn't overthink it too much, it was fun and all the kids enjoyed it. I would say go with yoir gut feeling. We have theee older siblings and we never did it for them but on this occasion it felt right

MyLegoHair · 26/04/2025 07:15

No I wouldn't. There are the practical concerns, but it also puts too mature a slant on a teen romance which should be fun and light and ok to be fleeting.

40andlovelife · 26/04/2025 07:16

Absolutely not. For many reasons. One being that when her or his Teachers hear this happened( which they will) they will have to report it to the designated safeguarding officer at the school.

Original poster
peachie82 · 26/04/2025 07:16

Perhaps ‘holiday’ was too dramatic a word, it’s just three nights at a caravan a half hour train ride from home so not exactly a week in Spain or anything, but yeah, I wasn’t sure so appreciate the comments.

OP posts:
GonzoParker · 26/04/2025 07:16

Not at 14, let her be a child, there’s many many years to be like a grown up

SoftandQuiet · 26/04/2025 07:16

When my DS was 14, his girlfriend's mum invited him to stay overnight. DH and are are very lasse fair but we're horrified! The girlfriend dumped him a few weeks later and broke his heart.

LilDeVille · 26/04/2025 07:17

Obviously not.

TropicofCapricorn · 26/04/2025 07:17

Travelban · 26/04/2025 07:15

I have brought dd's boyfriend on holiday with us, we have just got back. Same age and been together 6 months.

There was a lot of us (6 kids in total).so it was quite diluted but it worked really well. They had an absolute blast. I didn't overthink it too much, it was fun and all the kids enjoyed it. I would say go with yoir gut feeling. We have theee older siblings and we never did it for them but on this occasion it felt right

That's bizarre that you'd treat a child in a teen relationship as a serious partner of your daughter...

Cynicalaboutall · 26/04/2025 07:17

Yes, if you like him and can bear to spend a week with him, you’ll all have a better time.
Have a sensible talk with her about age of consent, contraception etc regardless of the holiday.

If they want to have sex they’re going to have it regardless.

TropicofCapricorn · 26/04/2025 07:17

peachie82 · 26/04/2025 07:16

Perhaps ‘holiday’ was too dramatic a word, it’s just three nights at a caravan a half hour train ride from home so not exactly a week in Spain or anything, but yeah, I wasn’t sure so appreciate the comments.

Still no.

40andlovelife · 26/04/2025 07:18

Even for 3 nights as a teacher I would have to report this to the designated safeguarding officer. Don’t do it.

TropicofCapricorn · 26/04/2025 07:18

Cynicalaboutall · 26/04/2025 07:17

Yes, if you like him and can bear to spend a week with him, you’ll all have a better time.
Have a sensible talk with her about age of consent, contraception etc regardless of the holiday.

If they want to have sex they’re going to have it regardless.

It's not about sex. It's about treating these children as if they're in a mature and committed relationship.

It's too much pressure and is treating them like they're 24 and not 14 year old children.

LilDeVille · 26/04/2025 07:18

peachie82 · 26/04/2025 07:16

Perhaps ‘holiday’ was too dramatic a word, it’s just three nights at a caravan a half hour train ride from home so not exactly a week in Spain or anything, but yeah, I wasn’t sure so appreciate the comments.

It’s not the style of holiday that’s an issue, it’s the fact they’re 14, you think they’ll have sex, there’ll be loads of opportunity for them to, and you seem reassured that he ‘takes things at her pace’ 🤢

Minimalistmamaoftwo · 26/04/2025 07:19

For me it’s not the concern of having sex but of ‘playing house’ as other posters have said if they are going to have sex they will and the best thing you can do is make sure she has contraception and understands the importance of consent. The ‘playing house’ holidays together and sleepovers are parts of a more adult relationship and are not appropriate at 14

Cynicalaboutall · 26/04/2025 07:19

40andlovelife · 26/04/2025 07:18

Even for 3 nights as a teacher I would have to report this to the designated safeguarding officer. Don’t do it.

What are you on? Seriously?

SouthLondonMum22 · 26/04/2025 07:19

peachie82 · 26/04/2025 07:16

Perhaps ‘holiday’ was too dramatic a word, it’s just three nights at a caravan a half hour train ride from home so not exactly a week in Spain or anything, but yeah, I wasn’t sure so appreciate the comments.

Still an absolutely not for me.