Just a friendly hand hold for any other mums of teens

[Pleasegivemeyourwisdom]

I've 3.

It's a 'journey'.

Just in case anyone wants to know another trying her best mum is thinking of them

Hellloooo support group, here for the top tips. It’s so hard sometimes.

We have had a clam day here today, all is quiet on the teen front (15 and 18) so far. I am revelling in the peace while it lasts.

Unfortunately, I can see a relationship split and a possible college drop out in the not too distant future so I am spending as much time as I can with them now while we are all still on speaking terms.

We have been through the mill with the oldest one over the past few years, I don't think the youngest could shock me now (but you never know) I think we have been through every possible crisis of the teen kind!!!

Fingers crossed that the worst is behind us (really hope I haven't tempted fate by writing that down!)

I miss my babies so much, you worried but you always knew where they were and they didn't bring the police to your door!

I 100% agree that teens and menopause really is a bad mix and a huge human being design mistake!!!

Yes @ohhelldoi! Life begins at 40, they said, when the kids were about to fly the nest and you’d have a good few years before worrying about your own parents.

Now it’s more like 50, a perfect storm coinciding with menopause and elderly relatives needing help. Sweeping generalisation of course, but very true for me and most of my friends right now, who have moody teenagers and parents getting… just old.

Perhaps it should be 60 😬

Yeah, I really thought that I could out-parent teenage rebellion. Gigantic slice of humble pie here.

Yes, me too. When people spoke (mostly stuff I read on mn 🤦🏻‍♀️🤣) about how dcs changed at puberty, I thought, so glad that will never happen to me 😩🤣🤣 I am, on the whole, lucky. I don’t get abuse off them. Ds1 is 15 and we get on so well. I thought i was breezing through puberty until it hit dd (13) last summer. But I realise that they need to rebel about stuff (I’ve always tried to let them negotiate so they didn’t need to rebel, but it’s a rite of passage to have to find something to object to! 😩🤣) so when I do get the grumpy sullen treatment I try not to take it to heart. But I miss my babies who adored me unconditionally 🥰😢🥰
dc3 ds aged 7, asks what is wrong with [(big sis] and I say ‘grumpy hormones’, so he knows to leave her alone 🤣🤣🤣
I really did think I was escaping the grief of teenage years, as a reward from having 3 non sleepers. 🤔

Can I join in too? I have 3 DDs, 2 have come out the other side but the last one is 12 and getting in trouble at school, being a mouthy shit at home, all sorts. It's so so hard. Her latest thing is she has become friends with a 15/16 year old who slept round last night. Is it me or is that really weird? What has a year 11 girl got in common with a year 8?

I’m here for the solidarity too please 😊

mid teen DD and oh what an emotional rollercoaster!!!
friendships. Frenemies, sexuality, relationships, school stress, skin issues, body image, emotional crisis, self harm, dark thoughts, boundaries, social life,

feeling in the thick of it all !!!!
also so much joy, love, hilarity !!

like I said - a ROLLERCOSTER !!!!!!
far harder than the baby / toddler years !!

All parents welcome here!!!

All aboard the teen rollercoaster.

Please fasten your seatbelt: and remove your glasses. They may or may not offend your darling children and / or be lost on the loop de loop 😂 free wine given upon exit of ride. X 365 days a year 😂

At best DD (17) gives me 1 withering look of contempt a day
But since I have got Covid and am ill she wants to chat - standing at my bedroom door and then gets annoyed when I tell her to back away a bit more!

Ooof needed that, thanks. Almost 14 yo daughter seems to have turned into an entitled princess. My patience is wearing thin!

so after boyfriend split, I have spent every evening last week and most of the weekend, being supportive of 14 yo dd much of which requires me to snuggle on sofa and watch crap TV with her.
Fine. Boring, and my To Do list just stretches longer but fine.

So at 7:25 am, dd stomps into my bedroom. I am half dressed, she is dressed and has to leave the house in 4 minutes and she proceeded to shout at me because

1. I put 2 pairs of someone else's sock on her clean washing pile. The pile that she and her sister should have sorted themselves, but due to above post boyfriend issues, I did.
2. that there are too many pieces of cutlery in the cutlery drawer and she couldn't unpack the cutlery from the dishwasher properly. I have just reduced the number of cutlery due to her constant complaints, but I made the mistake of saying in passing that there were now 13 of each, and apparently there aren't.

That required her to shout at me for the 4 free minutes she had before stomping off to the car with dh.

I'm so glad I invested in your emotional well being this weekend dd! 🙄

Oh, can I join! I have one soon to be 16 ds and one who is soon 12.

DS1 is grumpy, refuses school work and brings his girlfriend around all the time. I worry about him being out on the weekend. When people say "thank God it is weekend" I don't know what they are talking about.

DS2 is not yet there, but there I struggle with a genetic condition that he has...

I met my childfree (so far) brother the other day. His life seems so easy... He was going home to potter around in his clean house. I was going home to sitting down doing math with both kids as they don't to much in school.

Since I was 26 I have had kids, all my strength go to them. I am not sure who I am anymore... perhaps I will find out when they move out! Sad to say I long for that day a bit...

The problem is I love them too much and my heart is outside my body!

I think I've found my tribe! 50
Plus with three teens, menopausal with elderly parents. I lurch from one drama to another and the last two years have been hell! My eldest has even convinced me that he had a terrible childhood with his rewriting history. The up side is that they are now old enough to leave at home alone so me and DH can get out and take a break from them 😂

My 13yo DS has been an utter nightmare all weekend as his friend got a new phone so DS has decided he needs one NOW.
We've had swearing, aggressive posture, repetitive demands and general nastiness.
I'm dreading him returning home at 3pm tbh.

I'm here for the tips, I need all the help I can get!!

DS1 is 15 and so far has been a pretty amazing teen. No big issues, no big dramas etc. This however has just lulled me into a false sense of security about how easy the teenage years would be. DS2 is 13 and has additional needs to boot. He is a NIGHTMARE. He literally is like Kevin / Perry and every day there is some kind of fresh hell to contend with. DD3 is 11 and just starting on the slippery slope. I suspect that parenting a teenage girl is going to be a whole different ball game from parenting a teenage boy. I have to say I'm not particularly looking forward to the next few years.

I went away this weekend
Came home to find several beds unmade and slept in
No food left
Drinks all drank inc manky cooking wine
Empty dishwasher with every cup, plate and glass on top of the dishwasher.

So clearly they had a free for all party or a "chilled evening" as they put it 🤣🤣

Weirdly they all disappeared before I got home yesterday and stayed with friends

Can I join in? My DD is not technically a teen for another couple of months but oh God I need a handhold. I know there is nothing she's doing that isn't normal but I feel less like I'm talking to my baby girl than the thing that ate my baby girl. I just want to hug her and she's all spikes and spite 😢

I hear you. I have four and the hormones and moodiness and arguing are doing my head in. 13,14,15 and 19, though my eldest is autistic and is more like a 16 year old developmentally.
Much harder than the toddler years. 😣

does anyone else have the issue that their other half was apparently a perfect teen - never answered back, always loving & helpful (his mother has actually confirmed this🙈) and therefore has a an (unachievable) expected level of behaviour from your (shared) kids? Every time I try to explain that the irrational hormonal slanging is relatively normal he says “well, I won’t put up with it” which basically means nothing is ever allowed to slide and the war zone is constant…😫

Just want to encourage you.
19 year old was horrible aged 12/13. He's nice now!

We had a long heart to heart when he was about 18. He said to me - "when I was 12 what I thought I needed was a TV and x-box in my room. Now I realise that what I needed was parenting, and you did that." (I nearly got him to write it, sign and frame it for the wall)
Now, we had days/months/years of demands and nagging for TV and Xbox. And he was at times seriously FOUL. Then at 17 he got some friends who didn't have such nice home lives, more money, but less security and love (one friend used to stay at ours once a week to get away) and he finally realised that we weren't so bad after all.

I'd love to send mine to boarding school. My easy 15yr old is being a pain at the moment. Too much time playing Minecraft and not enough time getting in mocks revision.

not as bad as you, but yes, my dh and his siblings didn't rebel. Didn't do the whole teen thing.
I don't really get it, but it was not a happy home, he was pretty sure his parents would have got divorced, except the have a very fundamental Christian faith, in a strict church background.
He is also not really by personality an arguer. He isn't close to his parents.

As we are dealing/have dealt with a massive load of teen issues, including currently trans issues, he has really had to step up and try and understand. I am very grateful though that he recognises that his own background is not normal.

Great thread

I'm late 40's with two teens

DD is 17 and DS nearly 14. DD's 14-16 years nearly broke me but she has come out of the other side as a (mostly) lovely human being.

DS is currently not too bad although some real flashes of hormonal anger that we are trying to nip in the bud (and to be fair he is always very apologetic after the fact). He saw all of the anguish that DD caused us so I'm hoping that sticks with him and we get an easier ride with him - but we'll just wait and see.

Have to say the second one hits very close to the bone ..... although sometimes DH makes things worse. If there's a wrong thing to say to a teenage girl, he has said it.

Please may I join?

I started a thread on teen rudeness earlier but no replies yet.

Wise people, do your teens occasionally (sometimes often) loudly rant at you for doing z,y,z (or not doing x,y,z). if yes, what do you do if/when your teen rants and shouts at you?

I get so cross when my 13 year old dd is hectoring me and throwing her weight around so get into super strict mum mode, it's not working! She is behaving in such a self-centred and inconsiderate way. Do I just suck this up for the next few year?