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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Taking teens on holiday - I'm done!

155 replies

ForAFriend123 · 13/07/2022 07:05

So as we near the end of a week away in Turkey, am I wrong in making a vow to NEVER take our teens away again.

Booked this holiday against my better judgement anyway as wasn't sure we could afford it, but was overruled.
Great resort, nothing fancy but just what we needed.

BUT... 17 year old DS has been hideous. Sleeps most of day, surfaces about 3pm demanding to know what the evening plans are. Pesters about going to eat at restaurants (which costs more money). Once we get out he then demands to know what time we'll get back to hotel so he can meet his mates and drink til early hours. Once he's eaten sits there moaning until I give up and we leave. Endlessly pushes curfew and of course I can't sleep til he's in whilst DH lays there snoring!

14 DD slightly more tolerable although again acting like spoilt brat on steroids. Only remotely pleasant when doing what she wants/buying something. God forbid we ask her to get us a drink and you'd think she was a child slave!

DH had zero holidays as a child and seems to be making it up for it by planning bigger and better every year for our 2, but Christ on a bike I've had a gutful.

Where are these families who enjoy quality "bonding"'time away?? Perfectly enjoying each others company, witty repartee, being actually nice to each other!

OP posts:
PersonaNonGarter · 13/07/2022 08:20

Oh no, ok big sympathies if the drink is on tap… yeah that’s hard.

Maybe just find a good book, a comfy spot by the pool and then blank the lot of them. Pretend you are on holiday on your own 😁

LilacPoppy · 13/07/2022 08:21

That’s not normal behaviour for a 17 year old. Just don’t let him act like that, you are the adult. How has he got to 17 with no respect for his parents?

Original poster
ForAFriend123 · 13/07/2022 08:22

user50and · 13/07/2022 07:53

We're going to Turkey with DSS18, DS17, DDS16 and DS13 for a week next Friday 😫
This is what I can see happening (especially the older ones!)

Best of British!!

Do they all get on? If so, I guess they can all at least look out for each other. Obviously my 2 detest each others company and DS would rather rip off his right arm than let his sister hang out with him. 🙄

OP posts:
DottyDotAgain · 13/07/2022 08:23

Yep. Ours were just like this for a few years - bloody miserable at being dragged on holiday and generally a pain in the neck. They're now 20 and 18 and want to come on all our sodding holiday (mainly because they're free, obvs...!).

Dp and I are going to Norfolk for a week soon with friends - grown ups only - and the 18 year old has asked if he can drive down and join us for a few days of it because he's so bored at home - and please can I pay for his petrol..... Grin

So, push through it and in a few years' time you'll be wishing you could get rid of them...!

Provenceinthesummer · 13/07/2022 08:28

My dc are exactly the same age as yours op! So I feel your pain. I wouldn’t book all inclusive again and we chose a place in the mountains with lots of outdoor activities like white water rafting etc, no pubs etc for miles 😅😂

We agreed before we got here some ground rules. Exercise every day, one activity at least, polite behaviour at meal times and some conversation.

In your position I would be using the free flowing alcohol to discuss the dangers and setting a rigid non negotiable time to return home. Passively watching him get so shit faced is dangerous op, he is still underage and it’s ruining your holiday.
I would agree a time of 11pm and agree if he gets dangerously drunk again you will stop him being served altogether - and mean it.

There is no way I would put up with being awake all night and so understandably worried.

Next year a villa in the middle of nowhere? 😂😂

Sally090807 · 13/07/2022 08:29

I took my daughter on an absolutely beautiful holiday to a stunning island where you could sit and have breakfast by the ocean, turquoise waters, white sand, gorgeous food and I had to go alone as she didn’t want to get up before lunch and if she did get up it was only to sit in the room, on her phone texting friends back home. 🙄

Sally090807 · 13/07/2022 08:31

LilacPoppy · 13/07/2022 08:21

That’s not normal behaviour for a 17 year old. Just don’t let him act like that, you are the adult. How has he got to 17 with no respect for his parents?

I’d say that’s extremely normal for a 17 year old teen.

Original poster
ForAFriend123 · 13/07/2022 08:33

KangarooKenny · 13/07/2022 08:19

I’d be more worried about getting into trouble with the police in Turkey.

This!!

He was warned in no uncertain terms the nightmare he/we could find ourselves in if he was really stupid. Thankfully he hasn't strayed outside the hotel at night so scope for drunken shenanigans has been limited.

Tonight is our last night. We've got a crazy early transfer. DS says he's "powering on through" - we'll see about that.

OP posts:
MissusPongo · 13/07/2022 08:34

We tend to go to villas in the middle of nowhere which obviously limits the options, so evenings we might eat in or go out and then hang out at the villa together playing cards or chatting . Would that be easier than an AI if you don’t want DS going out drinking?

Definitely with you on the lying in!

Satsumaonaplate · 13/07/2022 08:35

Really sad reading all these stories about people who hate holidays with their teens!! I remember wonderful holidays exploring new places as a teenager with my parents (and brother and sister). It was the highlight of our year to go on holidays as a family!
Although the teens in these stories sound massively ungrateful!?

Original poster
ForAFriend123 · 13/07/2022 08:38

Satsumaonaplate · 13/07/2022 08:35

Really sad reading all these stories about people who hate holidays with their teens!! I remember wonderful holidays exploring new places as a teenager with my parents (and brother and sister). It was the highlight of our year to go on holidays as a family!
Although the teens in these stories sound massively ungrateful!?

You were lucky. Do you have teenagers?

Trust me, it makes me sad too. I want to enjoy holidays with my family

OP posts:
MissusPongo · 13/07/2022 08:38

DS says he's "powering on through" - we'll see about that.

Does he know they won’t let him on the flight if he’s drunk?

Original poster
ForAFriend123 · 13/07/2022 08:41

MissusPongo · 13/07/2022 08:38

DS says he's "powering on through" - we'll see about that.

Does he know they won’t let him on the flight if he’s drunk?

Oh yes. It's not happening

OP posts:
easyday · 13/07/2022 08:43

Going away with my 17 year old daughter is great. We are similar in our interests and energy levels and she's not interested in drinking or spending money.
My 18 year old son is very high energy and can get bored, but I find if I lay out a rough itinerary (with his input) so he knows what to expect it works out fine.
We haven't been away these last couple years but are away for five days in August. We've planned our day trips and down time and hopefully all will be well.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 13/07/2022 08:44

Oh god this is depressing, I hoped holidays with teens would be better than with younger kids- ie. I could sunbathe in peace

SoupDragon · 13/07/2022 08:46

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 13/07/2022 08:44

Oh god this is depressing, I hoped holidays with teens would be better than with younger kids- ie. I could sunbathe in peace

Holidays with my 3 were exactly like that. They rarely bother me unless it is to supply me with a rum punch from the bar. We do eat meals together though.

Original poster
ForAFriend123 · 13/07/2022 08:48

Don't get me wrong, we have been able to sunbathe during day. It's the evenings/nights that have been a bit of nightmare.

They're like vampires, asleep during day - up all night!

OP posts:
Badlifeday · 13/07/2022 08:50

Squirrelsnut · 13/07/2022 07:48

They can be selfish sods can't they. Their pleasure trumps everything and everyone.

It's been a relief for me to read this thread. On holiday with a 14 year old and younger sibling, every words the teen says begin with "can I have" or "I want to". I started packing a case to come home last might! Dh isn't much better tbh.

Badlifeday · 13/07/2022 08:51

He wants to go to a theme park today, but is still in bed past the time it opens. This will also, or course, be my fault

Sunshineandflipflops · 13/07/2022 08:51

I stopped going on holiday with my parents at 16 (took a friends with me for the year or two before this as my older brother had stopped coming). I started going away with them again in adulthood though as have always loved it! I think it's just a phase teens go through when holidaying with parents is not cool or fun (even if it is).

We are taking my dc (14 and 16) and DP's dc (18) this year, as we did last year and we just don't put too much expectation on them. If they want to join us they can, if they want to stay at the house, they can (staying in this country) but they usually want to join us, doing things like sea swimming/body boarding/ice creams/meals out.

I think at 17, it's time to leave the moody teens at home and enjoy your holiday!

massistar · 13/07/2022 08:54

I've got a DS17 and a DD13. Luckily they quite like each other and love the pool and the beach so we're hoping to have a lovely time away with them in Italy next week. As long as DS is kept active with a ball or some kind of water sport he's happy as Larry. DD not quite so active but she does love water sports and is happy to read by the pool. No Wi-Fi where we go so time on phones is limited.

Not boasting OP! Just trying to give some hope to those with younger kids that not all teenagers are like that!

Original poster
ForAFriend123 · 13/07/2022 09:00

massistar · 13/07/2022 08:54

I've got a DS17 and a DD13. Luckily they quite like each other and love the pool and the beach so we're hoping to have a lovely time away with them in Italy next week. As long as DS is kept active with a ball or some kind of water sport he's happy as Larry. DD not quite so active but she does love water sports and is happy to read by the pool. No Wi-Fi where we go so time on phones is limited.

Not boasting OP! Just trying to give some hope to those with younger kids that not all teenagers are like that!

That sounds lovely (sincerely!)
The hotel WiFi doesn't quite extend to our apartment and you should hear the moaning.
They've both got books to read but of course thats boring!

OP posts:
Fluffruff · 13/07/2022 09:03

From listening to my siblings experience they do come out the other side. One sibling had just been on hols with their three older teens and had a great time / but it wasn’t an all inclusive they just rented somewhere with a shared pool and seem to have don a different thing each afternoon eg hire a boat and explore inaccessible beaches, visited an ancient fort etc, ate out sometimes, explored a local market. Have you been able to do any day trips?

Sweetleftfood · 13/07/2022 09:03

We went camping last weekend with DS13 and DS15, bloody hell they were annoying. The worst thing in the world was that we didn't have electricity and their phones died .... can you imagine being without your phone for 5 minutes?? 🙄

TotnesAmy · 13/07/2022 09:04

tell them you're going to a nudist camp next year and watch the faces!