Taking teens on holiday - I'm done!

[ForAFriend123]

So as we near the end of a week away in Turkey, am I wrong in making a vow to NEVER take our teens away again.

Booked this holiday against my better judgement anyway as wasn't sure we could afford it, but was overruled.
Great resort, nothing fancy but just what we needed.

BUT... 17 year old DS has been hideous. Sleeps most of day, surfaces about 3pm demanding to know what the evening plans are. Pesters about going to eat at restaurants (which costs more money). Once we get out he then demands to know what time we'll get back to hotel so he can meet his mates and drink til early hours. Once he's eaten sits there moaning until I give up and we leave. Endlessly pushes curfew and of course I can't sleep til he's in whilst DH lays there snoring!

14 DD slightly more tolerable although again acting like spoilt brat on steroids. Only remotely pleasant when doing what she wants/buying something. God forbid we ask her to get us a drink and you'd think she was a child slave!

DH had zero holidays as a child and seems to be making it up for it by planning bigger and better every year for our 2, but Christ on a bike I've had a gutful.

Where are these families who enjoy quality "bonding"'time away?? Perfectly enjoying each others company, witty repartee, being actually nice to each other!

@PITAneighbour oh God I feel your pain! My 15 year old dd loves a hotel breakfast but struggles to get up on time. I usually spend an hour knocking on her door at regular intervals. She hates being left behind if we’re going for breakfast, I get ‘I’m commmmiiinnnggggg’ in a whiny tone x 1000

If it helps I was the same with my daughter until she went to uni. As someone has already said, you don't know what they're up to in their uni town so you learn to let go. Even when she's home for the hols I don't wait up for her any more. She knows not to be noisy and that I'll be furious if she wakes me.

"Just some teens also on holiday. They've all got child wrist bands but that seems to make bugger all difference when it comes to being served.
He's come back steaming several nights which of course sends my anxiety through the roof worrying about all the ways he could drown/get attacked/die horribly!!"

On holiday with teen DC myself, strict no alcohol served to under 18 but 16+ allowed in adults only area. I'm having a blissful time and have reconnected with my DC albeit at the cost of a few spa treatments, I'm happy if that's all it takes. Perhaps a different country with stricter rules would have been a better option but sorry, that's a bit late for you now. Next year I'm thinking of giving DC a few hundred £ to holiday with their own friends as they will be 18 by then.

"Pesters about going to eat at restaurants (which costs more money). Once we get out he then demands to know what time we'll get back to hotel so he can meet his mates and drink til early hours."

You're at an all inclusive! Tell him if he wants to eat at a restaurant then he is paying. Then go and eat at the hotel. Stop REWARDING his pestering by taking him to a restaurant.

Yes to gin and also Prosecco, vodka, cocktails, whatever it takes, it's your holiday too after all!

Eldest DC could be a right PITA at the 16 / 17 /18 stage. We’ve always done busy road trip holidays so not too much scope for lying around (plus when it came to breakfast he definitely had FOMO). A couple of times he’s been left behind at the hotel / apartment and missed out on a day trips because he was being too awful. Never had any such issues with his younger brother (thank god).

Now he’s early 20s and is asking to come away with us and offering to pay his own way - so there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Was surprised to find that on his post school / pre uni obligatory inter rail trip he and his mates did all the kind of things that we’d normally do on holiday - boat trips, museums, hikes, cycling etc - so they do actually appreciate things, even if they don’t seem to at the time.

He'll be 18 next year so can paddle his own canoe from then on.
I told mine straight up that if they treated us like rubbish they'd be on their own as adults from 18.
Don't pander to him - restaurants while at AI is ridiculous.
Away with one DD 19 at the moment- the chances of DH and I being on our own are zero. Not a chance of us going anywhere without her wanting to come too but she's good company

Exactly! I had my 18th in a pub I’d been drinking in for two years! Somehow I’ve managed not to become a raging alcoholic or a bag lady…

Hhhmm, not one mention of consequences for his behaviour.

Why would anyone say 'one drink and we're all leaving the holiday and going home'

No one is going to spend £3-5,000 on a holiday to leave after a teenager has one drink

Yes, I would have told the manager to tell the bar staff not to serve him when I turned up - but there's nothing you can do about it if other teenagers are drinking and share it with him

I don't see the point in empty threats 🤷‍♀️

Out of curiosity, what is 17yo teenager (actually almost adult) supposed to do on a holiday with his parents in a hotel?
I have no experience myself (my kids are younger and I've never been on any holiday with my parents). It looks like he's just killing his time. Does he has a say in what holiday he'd like? or what to do on the holiday he is?

He's not 10. And generally grounding a 17-year-old doesn't result in fun times on holiday for anyone.

I went on my first holiday alone with friends at 17 Your son could have gone away with his friends at his age and he would be drinking etc and you would t be there to worry I would leave him to it It's good his made friends most would be in the room on phone

There have been a few comments on here about other countries giving booze to children. Well this happened before lockdown, thankfully i saw the funny side and my son was fine, if not a little hangover the next day!

2019, took my then just turned 14ds and dd19 to Greece, we were in AI and went out one night to a bar to watch an act, and then there was Karaoke afterwards. Well, my 14yr old son was on the karaoke, singing a duet with his sister, singing solo...i just thought he was having a great time and his inhibitions were down because we were on holiday. It was only when he pumped the microphone in the air after his 7 song long one man show, and announced he was 'A motherfucking MC' (EMINEM song) did i realise something might be a little amiss....

I asked my DD if she had by any chance snuck her little brother a beer, and she cheerfully told me that all those that sang a song on Karaoke were given a shot by the DJ!

I do enjoy holidays with my teens, 15 and 16 but getting them to do much is hard.

Just back from a week in Cornwall with stopovers with pools on way up and back. DH and I went swimming twice, surfing, kayaking, St Michaels mount, Minack theatre to watch a show, and took a Morgan 4 classic car out road the coast so we did lots of nice activities.

DD 16 took a friend and they were fine but wanted to do own thing, which seemed to mainly be walks and St Michaels Mount and playing board games but they did clean the kitchen after each use, friend must be well brought up. 😂DS 15 would not leave the house all week. Just ate his own body weight in scones and ipadded all week plus they all wanted a few McDonalds. Not ideal but have literally just finished chemotherapy for breast cancer and did not have strength to argue it and did not want to ruin our holiday arguing either. DS is also asd. He much prefers AI but not an option to go abroad with the cancer treatment atm.

We used to have perfect holidays a few years back, miss those. Now DD does sometimes stay home whilst we go for weekend and that is worth trying. I would say no to eating out if at AI unless you want to esp if he moans either way.

So glad to see a bit of sanity on this thread- the posters who do mock outrage at frankly normal teen behaviour are hilarious. And as a PP said, I can guarantee that at the first hint of freedom teens who have been ‘good as good’, go wild. Not all, but plenty. They’re the ones lying through their teeth. No it’s not ideal to be drunk, but it’s hard when it’s all inclusive, the OP can’t exactly bundle her DS up in a towel and whisk him home for bath, bed and story!!!! He’s probably taller than her! 😆

Active holidays work better with teens I think. We have basically stitchedva couple of city breaks together for our holiday and our 16 and 13 year old DSs seem to be enjoying it. The older one doesn't like the taste of alcohol and the younger one knows he can't get served so we don't have that issue.

Apart from finding food for the younger one who is very particular about what he will eat it's all been a pretty good.

I have found though that both teens are moanier than they were on pre lockdown holidays. This is our first holiday abroad since covid and they are different. Possibly a lot more weight of expectation leading to more stress on everyone. They were like it on self catering trip to visit family too - lots of complaining as though they had forgotten how to travel.

Not every teen wants to get pie eyed?! They are not all on a loop getting wasted bib but if you have a wild teen - an all inclusive that is ‘relaxed’ close to a resort with nightclubs is not the best idea?! We are in the mountains and our teens are too knackered to search for night life. Keep dc active and busy and miles away from clubs and pubs.

We did an AI in Cyprus in May, 17 and 15 yo DS. They played table tennis, went to the gym, paddle boarded, snorkelled, sunbathed, slept, ate, slept again, swam in pool, repeat. Loads to do.

One drink and you all go home 🤣🤣, he’s 17 not 12!! Bloody hell. Over reaction or what!

@BigSandyBalls2015 - I know, crazy isn't it.
I'm taking DS 16 and his pal to Lanzarote in October, thankfully after reading this we're HB not AI, but I fully expect DS and his pal
to have a couple of drinks- it's only if they go crazy that I'll clamp down.

In this scenario I'd be making a fuss with management about the fact they're serving alcohol to minors knowingly. I'd also tell the DS unless he calms down with the drinking I would give his photo behind the bar and tell
Them not to serve him .

Pester power should not work from a 17 year old lazybones.

Tell the staff to not serve him alcohol since underage.

If he or the others cause problems and he is arrested in Turkey it will be awful - let him know possible consequence.

I do find its best not to give into pestering, completely understand you doing that, but I find when you do it just encourages more pestering again. Its like short term gain, long term pain.

Yep. Been there, done that, cleaned up the vomit. Joyful. I hear you.

Tips im getting from this thread is to not go all inclusive with teenagers