To insist on good morning even when grumpy?

[Sawadeekaka]

My teen dd isn't a morning person and goes to bed way too late too.
In the morning she's storming about and doesn't answer when I say good morning or have a good day when she leaves. Gets unpleasant when we hurry her so she doesn't miss the school bus (as then she has no way of getting to school other than us driving her).
I've told her that it's really not nice for us and that while she doesn't have to be cheerful or chatty that a minimum level of politeness is expected. A good morning to my good morning and a thank you to have a good day and no rudness if we need to hurry her so that she doesn't miss the bus.
This morning I said to her good morning and she refused to respond. When I told her it's not acceptable, she swore at me.
So now I intend to discuss and punish her.
My dh think iabu and that I should just accept she's grumpy in the morning and not speak to her at all. I think the basics of politeness are important in any family. If one of her friends or teachers was there, she would manage to be polite, that's for sure, so she's entirely capable of it.
Aibu?

I've not RTFT so apologies if it's already need suggested, but I can really recommend reading a book called Untangled. It's all about teenage girls and their transition into adulthood.

From reading your first couple of posts, it sounds as if she's doing what the book refers to as a "making it uncomfortable for you" type thing. The book gives suggestions for how you can firmly and without confrontation push back so that she is encouraged to take responsibility for catching the bus herself and responding in a civil manner. Good luck!

www.amazon.co.uk/Untangled-Guiding-Teenage-Transitions-Adulthood/dp/1782395563/ref=asc_df_1782395563/?tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=310856639426&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=6944025995182302196&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9046071&hvtargid=pla-299830530893&psc=1&th=1&psc=1

Mine's like this too - won't use an alarm so I do sometimes have to but hates being spoken to and regularly swears back. I agree it's grim but at the same time forcing polite greetings feeks like too much of a power play when we're already having battles. I try to just stay out of his way. Better to raise the whole issue as a collaborative discussion at a low-stress moment than to punish.

I’d pick your battles as others have said. I was always taught that if I didn’t have anything to say don’t say anything at all. So maybe the silent treatment is a compromise here?

However, I wish I had been taught better about mornings, time management etc.
I grew up with my single mother who didn’t get out of bed until we were long gone for school (depression) and I spent my school years, all of my 20’s and half my 30’s ‘not being a morning person’ getting up at the last minute rushing and being grumpy.
My DH influenced me to have an enjoyable morning ritual. I get up a bit earlier so the I can drink a proper coffee and ease myself into the day not rushing, not being stressed if I’m stuck In traffic. When we first lived together I was p*seed that he was waking me up early but now I get it, my whole day is better.
Its a life skill I intend to try and teach my kids.

Just to add to the above, my husband coaxed my gimpy self out of bed early with something I wanted (proper coffee) and I came to look forward to getting up for that.
Maybe with your teen it’s a case of giving them a reason to want to get up and not be an a-hole. Something they want for breakfast, getting up early for a TV show, 15 minutes of gaming maybe?
Id talk to them about how you can build a morning routine that is more enjoyable for both of you.

Some people don't do mornings well, teens especially!

And a hill to die on and pick your battles are not things just said on mn, my oldest is 27 and I've been saying it for years now