DS14 having sex

[Miraclemumtobe]

I could do with some outside perspective on this....

About a month ago I found out DS14 is having sex with his girlfriend, also 14. I discovered this whilst checking his phone (he is aware I periodically check) as she said her period was late!!
Cue massive panic but after I calmed down we had a frank discussion about being too young as well as using protection.

This has fallen on deaf ears as she had another pregnancy scare this month, thankfully just a scare, and I'm torn as to whether I should have a chat with her parents about what's going on.

They are aware they are alone together in their house on odd occasions that I knew about as I stupidly trusted themselves to behave.

I obviously can't stop them from seeing each other but is it my place to let her parents know?
I don't know the parents that well but I do have her dads number for emergency contact.
Her grandmother knows as after this last pregnancy scare she confided in her & she bought her a test.

What do I do??

My 15yoDD still barely gives boys the time of day!

My Dd has just started dating at 14.5yr... I was just about to post on this forum for advice as a parent on how to navigate this new era of my DD's life. Thank you OP for this post...

As the mother of a 14 girl I would 100% want to know.

I have a 14 year old dd, and absolutely I would want to know. You did the right thing op. My dd is not at the boyfriend stage yet, I am dreading it tbh.

Another shocked person here.

I suppose we all have different ways and values.

But 14 - its just sooooo young to me, I cannot even imagine it.

As soon as I had the most basic idea that my son had a girlfriend I'd be "on it" like a rocket. I'd never just assume that they weren't having sex. It would be immediate sex education of the most serious kind.

TBH, I find the idea of a girlfriend at 14 to be weird. And - probably because I do - its not happening in our family. Its unconcious though I believe.

But everyone has different kinds of parenting, so don't want to have a go at OP, who sounds concerned. But I think it was naieve of OP to assume her DS had a girlfriend but that it was 'non-sexual' and that they were mature enough to handle it. We live in a very sexualised society and we owe it to our teens to educate them.

early teen first romances are as tricky to navigate for the teens as it is for the parents. with social media in the mix, it's hellish.

My friend has just seen on her DDs Snapchat a video someone has taken of her dd and a boy kissing in the school woods.... very much a peck on the lips rather than a full French kiss, but she's concerned about the videoing aspect and has asked me for advice - I don't envy her that conv she's going to have

I think a 14 year old child who has pregnancy scares has been abused. It's not your sons fault, but it's not normal for a girl of her age to contemplate having a baby. I would look into telling the school before her parents.

Op how have you got on?

I’d be stopping contact now not buying condoms. Can children not be grounded anymore?

I would too,he's 14, phone can be removed etc. 14 year olds don't have that much opportunity to shag each other, I definitely wouldn't be buying condoms and I would most definitely be talking to the school.

OP impressed that you are keeping a calm head, being realistic and dealing with the risks...they can't be grounded till the legal age of consent, some of the advice on here is totally unrealistic. It's a tough situation to manage op but for what it's worth, I think you are doing just fine.

Hi. I suppose your have, in graphic detail, emphasised the consequences should she fall pregnant? How their lives will change, sacrifices etc, .Perhaps talk to both of them together

Sounds like she wants to get pregnant!

Let them take care of your baby for a few whole days in a row ... might change their minds about contraceptives.

I just let my kids look after our puppy for a few days - they got the message!