DS14 having sex

[Miraclemumtobe]

I could do with some outside perspective on this....

About a month ago I found out DS14 is having sex with his girlfriend, also 14. I discovered this whilst checking his phone (he is aware I periodically check) as she said her period was late!!
Cue massive panic but after I calmed down we had a frank discussion about being too young as well as using protection.

This has fallen on deaf ears as she had another pregnancy scare this month, thankfully just a scare, and I'm torn as to whether I should have a chat with her parents about what's going on.

They are aware they are alone together in their house on odd occasions that I knew about as I stupidly trusted themselves to behave.

I obviously can't stop them from seeing each other but is it my place to let her parents know?
I don't know the parents that well but I do have her dads number for emergency contact.
Her grandmother knows as after this last pregnancy scare she confided in her & she bought her a test.

What do I do??

@Aprillygirl your tone was aggressive and condemnatory as if the OP had done nothing - in fact, she's talked to her son more than once and has now texted the other Dad to arrange a chat, but you came steaming in all shouty "ffs" etc that she was doing nothing.

You were unreasonable to me so I'm posting in support of the other poster who also picked up on this. I know tone doesn't come across on a white page but I also thought "whoa, no need for that, she is taking advice and taking action".

But I’d be bloody furious if another parent (with no idea of her medical history/family issues) drove my 14 year old to a clinic for contraception without informing me.

But I’d be bloody furious if another parent (with no idea of her medical history/family issues) drove my 14 year old to a clinic for contraception without informing me

I would too, I'd do things the way OP has, and tried to speak to the other parents b

Good luck OP, hope you get a reply from the dad soon.

She spoke to her son fair enough.But waited until the child had TWO (that OP knows of) pregnancy scares and still didn't inform her parents until being told on here that she should. These are children who need parenting and safeguarding ffs!

These are children who need parenting and safeguarding ffs!

If her parents were parenting OP wouldn't have to tell them! Did you miss that her (the gf) gran bought a pregnancy test for her? Why hasn't she come in for your ire?

Good luck op.

My ds is in year 11 and recently turned 16. We are very open about sex in our house and he's not remotely ready yet but I suppose that will change soon enough.

He had been talking to a girl he really liked on SM and it turned out she is only 13, 14 this month and in year 9. He's showed me her pictures and profile and she does look so much older.
He obviously isn't going to take it any further but I could tell he was a bit sad about it. She had recently told him that her 13 year old friend was pregnant and the dad is older bit didn't say how old.

Scary stuff.

•If her parents were parenting OP wouldn't have to tell them! Did you miss that her (the gf) gran bought a pregnancy test for her? Why hasn't she come in for your ire?•

Granny ain't here otherwise I would be telling her to tell the girl's parents. For all we know she has. For all we know the parents know the kids are having unprotected sex and are cheering them on while they go at it. We don't know and can't comment because THEY ain't here!

So instead you speak to OP like shit, insult her son and criticise her parenting?

Aye that logic makes sense right enough. To absolutely nobody but you.

I don't get these replies. How about...you get a backbone and ground him? Take his phone away and make it very difficult for them to see each other. It ends now.

Where have I insulted her son InTheHeart?
I've criticised OP for being much too complacent on this particular matter,not on her parenting as a whole.
You're taking this all very personally. Why is that?

Def sounds like she/they are hoping for a dolly baby. Parents of GF should be informed immediately as you are rightly doing. Don't let them blame your DS.

You can stop them having sex. No time alone unless in public rooms of house, collection from school so they don't meet up afterwards etc. Inform school if you think they're going to try to get it on behind a bush on the school field. Maybe the relationship will fizzle out quicker.

They are 14, children, fully aware that a pregnancy can occur but carrying on anyway! You have to protect them from themselves and the potential child that could result.

I would ground my son with immediate effect and ensure her parents were fully informed of what had been going on. I'd check his phone regularly and would have a proper chat with him about the seriousness of all this

He's 14. Time to step up and parent him. You're not his mate

I'm not, I just think your response and subsequent comments were particularly rude and uncalled for.

I don't let shit random people say online affect me personally, I couldn't give a shit what you think of me.

If rude and abrasive works for you, knock yourself out. No skin off my nose.

Great InTheHeat that's your opinion which we are all entitled to,but you still haven't told me where I've insulted OP's son.

Your repeated assumptions about a child you've never met were insulting.

As you said, you're entitled to your opinion.

Just as anyone who thinks it makes you rude and aggresive is entitled to theirs.

Like I said, if that's how you engage with people and that's what makes you happy, have at it.

Yes it was at school it wasn't hard we had fields next door, old portacabins that wasn't locked, we'd bunk off or empty classrooms in the cupboard .
God so many places we'd go to the shopping centre before school in the toilets argh it makes me cringe now
And when my mum used to confiscate my phone we'd call of friends phones or just talk at school

Your repeated assumptions about a child you've never met were insulting.

Please show me.

Your own posts are highlighted.

Find them yourself.

Have a very nice day won't you.

Find them yourself.

I can't because as we both know they don't exist. Lol no wonder you're sloping off in embarrassment, Byeeeee now,hope you have a good one yourself

OP call them immediately. A family member got his teenage GF pregnant when they were 16, the first two times she got abortions third time she told her parents and kept the baby. Had either set of parents stopped it a lot of heartbreak would have been spared. Her life suffered more than the boy’s.

Aprillygirl I'm not sloping off anywhere, and I've nothing to be embarrassed about.

Rude, offensive, generalising and nasty. Your posts, not mine.

Like I said, if that's what gets you off, knock yourself out.

InTheHeat you've accused me of insulting OP's child when that is not true. You've continuously called me names,when all I've done is respond to OP's post -yes in an exasperated manner but that is because I care about children. You are rude and you are a liar so I think you should be a little bit embarrassed tbh.

Jesus wept you're actually offended because being called rude, aggressive and nasty when you've been rude, aggressive and nasty hurts your feelings.

Oh I needed that laugh, thanks for that!

Apologies for the derail OP, hope it all gets resolved after a chat with the dad.

Please stop arguing, it's pathetic and is seriously derailing.