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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

What's wrong with my son?!

148 replies

Lifeisshort123 · 24/09/2016 16:17

My 17yr old son just punched my 14yr old daughters boyfriend!
He won't say why and has bursted into tears and trust me he never cries. They are both close and probably to close but surely this isn't normal. It's all been kicking of this afternoon, she's refusing to talk to anyone and he's in pieces. Surely this isn't normal behaviour?
I honestly don't know what to do with them.
Any advice?x

OP posts:
Lilaclily · 24/09/2016 16:19

Goodness :-(
As it's so out of character the 14 year old probably said something nasty - bullying to your son?
I'd send him home and say you need family time to sort it out
Your son will need to apologise though and you probably should contact the boys parents too

Lilaclily · 24/09/2016 16:20

When you say they are both close do you mean your son & the boyfriend or you ds and dd?

PrincessOG16 · 24/09/2016 16:20

Either your daughter and the bf have had sex and your son found out.

Or the bf hurt your daughter in some way.

sonlypuppyfat · 24/09/2016 16:21

Boys lashing out isn't really unusual behaviour, surely it's quite common that boys do fight. Perhaps something was said

ayeokthen · 24/09/2016 16:22

I'd say something pretty major has happened, try to wait until it's all calmed down and get to the bottom of it.

Original poster
Lifeisshort123 · 24/09/2016 16:26

He's was picked up half an hour ago and I appoligied to his mum and goodness that has embarrasing.
I very much doubt she would have said anything to my DS as they get on well. He's never met him before and they were talking for about 5 minutes and then my son lashed out at him. I am so embarrassed.

OP posts:
ayeokthen · 24/09/2016 16:28

If it's completely out of character for your son, which it sounds like it is, can you try and get him to tell you what happened? An extreme reaction like that could be the result of extreme provocation. Social media perhaps?

BooFuckingHoo · 24/09/2016 16:28

I would hazard a guess that the boyfriend probably made a comment about your DD to your DS. I'd ask him what happened if I were you.

Northernparent68 · 24/09/2016 16:29

You do nt know they had sex princess, jumping to conclusions is nt helpful

It might well be a minor spat that will blow over

Original poster
Lifeisshort123 · 24/09/2016 16:29

That's a discusting thought, I really hope not and it defentilty wouldn't have been in the house or at his house. They only really see each other at school. That would be understandable if that was the situation but I doubt it but goodness that's making me a little worried now.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lifeisshort123 · 24/09/2016 16:30

I hope so.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lifeisshort123 · 24/09/2016 16:31

He will only reply with "the guy is a twat" to anything I ask him.

OP posts:
ayeokthen · 24/09/2016 16:32

My very quiet, very mild mannered DSD had only ever once hit someone and it was a kid who was picking on my DS (her stepbrother) and she smacked this kid in the face. It could be that the boyfriend said or did something he really didn't like. I doubt that it's down to sex, at 14???

BlasianFashionista · 24/09/2016 16:32

Lifeisshort123 Wait for him to calm down then he'll tell you.

Either your daughter and the bf have had sex and your son found out

I'm guessing that her boyfriend is either 14 or 15 so I pretty much doubt he found out that they had sex.

Hmm
Original poster
Lifeisshort123 · 24/09/2016 16:32

What do you mean by social media?x

OP posts:
EasternDailyStress · 24/09/2016 16:33

Maybe he just talked about her in a sexual way to your DS and he couldn't cope with it. I wouldn't assume it was anything serious, as boys can be very protective of their sisters.

ayeokthen · 24/09/2016 16:34

Could there have been some argument over some form of social media? Not sure if they have it, just a thought.

Original poster
Lifeisshort123 · 24/09/2016 16:35

My teens do but I'm not sure about my DD's bf.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lifeisshort123 · 24/09/2016 16:36

That's true, he's very protective of her which does worry me a little.

OP posts:
ayeokthen · 24/09/2016 16:36

In my experience, niggles over social media can become a huge deal face to face. Unfortunately it's all too common now. How is your son now?

WomensNet · 24/09/2016 16:42

Your thread title is misleading. You make it sound as if DS has some kind of behavioural problem when in actual fact there are tensions between the 3 young people and they don't want to tell you about it. Of course he is normal, leave them alone and someone is bound to tell you what's going on eventually.

The only other point you made that sounded odd was, DS and DD perhaps being 'too close' what does that mean?Confused

Original poster
Lifeisshort123 · 24/09/2016 16:42

He seems to of calmed down a little bit but is still giving me the same answer. It could be to do with social media i suppose.

OP posts:
claraschu · 24/09/2016 16:43

Unfortunately 14 year olds do have sex, not to say that your daughter has, but it is pretty naive to think it never happens.

ClashCityRocker · 24/09/2016 16:43

Is it overprotectiveness? That said, five minutes is a very short time to decide someone's a twat so would suspect your son either knows or has heard something about the lad prior to this.

How did he react when he first knew she had a boyfriend? If they're close, is there a touch of jealousy going on? Not in a creepy way, in a shes spending all his time with her new bf and he feels like he's losing his little sister?

ayeokthen · 24/09/2016 16:43

What is your daughter saying about it?