What's wrong with my son?!

[Lifeisshort123]

My 17yr old son just punched my 14yr old daughters boyfriend!
He won't say why and has bursted into tears and trust me he never cries. They are both close and probably to close but surely this isn't normal. It's all been kicking of this afternoon, she's refusing to talk to anyone and he's in pieces. Surely this isn't normal behaviour?
I honestly don't know what to do with them.
Any advice?x

There could be as little as 14 months between them.

How? 3 years can't be whittled down to a year and 2 months.

Really Ada? You might want to think about that a bit more. 😁

I've just spoken to the mother, I am very disappinted in my son and have taken his electrionics/Xbox away for the time being. He does feel guilty about it but I totally agree it was unacceptable. She asked for my son not to be around her son which I understand but she hasn't said he can't come around but it's probably best if he doesn't until this is sorted out. I feel awful.

OP said in another thread her daughter's boyfriend is 15. How is it that everyone is ok with suggesting two young teenagers ar having sex, but outraged at one punch?

Hope the chat goes ok

What did your DS say when you spoke to him?

As an aside, I don't think he would be treated as a child by the police at 17. The age you can be prosecuted from is 10 .

OP, you must be feeling like shit. I'm so sorry this happened. Have you got anywhere with why?

It's not your fault op. You've handled it very well.

How is it that everyone is ok with suggesting two young teenagers ar having sex, but outraged at one punch?

Well, as much as I would prefer my 14 year old wasn't having sex, I would much rather that than them assaulting people.

oh yes my arithmetic is shot to bits....
but anyway, he is 15 not 14, so what I said still stands. He could be nearly 16 and the OP's son could have just turned 17. Which doesnt make the scenario of a big grown man punching a poor little child does it?

Ok. My apologies Ada if he is actually 15.

But why did he do it?

Or he could have not long turned 15 and ops son could turn 18 next week...

AT fourteen or fifteen, even a couple of years is a big difference.

I was just saying I can see why the other mum was pissed off. Tbh if they were the same age, she'd be within her rights to be pissed off.

If he's a really good boy- never hurt anyone before - then why would he now?

You do need to find out.

Op, I saw I another thread your Dd has eating issues right now. (Sorry) Do you think this could be something to do with it?

Yes I see what you mean Clash.
Last year this could so easily have happened to us.
Both boys are minors in the eyes of the law.

Thank you

That's good. It'd be awful to crimilise youngsters for a lapse of judgement better punished in the family home than in the criminal justice system.

I may have thrown a punch or two as a teen

DS basically told me that he had made comment to her that were overly sexual and her bf had started having an debate with him about who knew her the best. DS said he just flipped at something that was said. He basically had made comments about wanting to send her pictures of himself and get them back. I am shocked but God it could have been worse. DD's bf's mother had appoligied about what her son had said but it doesn't give my son an exuse to punch someone does it..

Well, as much as I would prefer my 14 year old wasn't having sex, I would much rather that than them assaulting people.

Well I'd much rather a one off loss of temper which can be worked through and sorted out that my vulnerable 14 year old getting in way over their head physically and emotionally. Honestly, you'd rather they were having sex than a one off punch? Wow.

He will be punished as she thankfully hasn't pressed charges.
We will stop his allowance for this month, he will be grounded without a phone, computer, Xbox and going out with friends for the next 7 days.

no not really but it is understandable. You know I suspected it would be something to do with sexual pics thing from the start of your thread.
Maybe the other boy will think twice before chatting shit about people's sisters next time.

Crikey.

It's not right but I can understand how that made him lose his rag.

I felt like punching a 14 year old a few years back after he had plied my son with drink, taken advantage of him sexually, then sent the pics to several different phones. All I can say is thank God it never made it to FB.
I did manage to restrain myself though.

He's 15 in 2 days and my son is 18 in February 2017. I understand why she was pissed of too.

I think you've dealt with it perfectly OP, although I can't blame your son for reacting like that, he's had consequences. I sincerely hope the other Mum is going to have a serious chat with her son! who is obviously not bloody innocent in it at all