What's wrong with my son?!

[Lifeisshort123]

My 17yr old son just punched my 14yr old daughters boyfriend!
He won't say why and has bursted into tears and trust me he never cries. They are both close and probably to close but surely this isn't normal. It's all been kicking of this afternoon, she's refusing to talk to anyone and he's in pieces. Surely this isn't normal behaviour?
I honestly don't know what to do with them.
Any advice?x

He acts a little clingy toward her ect. He is a very good brother though. I just was so shocked about him lashing out as he never does that. Sorry about the thread title if it was misleading. I only want the answer quickly so I can ring my DD's boyfriend's mum. She probsbly thinks our famliy are awful people.

She's refusing to speak to anyone and is saying how much she hates Ds.

I'd definitely lean towards some kind of provocation since it's very unlike your son, and work with that. What did the bf mum say?

DD & DS are close?

She made me feel simply awful and asked if I had control over my nearly adult son..
I feel so embarrassed

I meant provocation from the boyfriend, I didn't mean to imply your daughter provoked it, sorry. I think Mum has a cheek to be honest, given nobody knows what happened!

From his reaction in such a short time i think he already knows the boyfriend.

aye i agree. If i was the mum of the boyfriend i would be asking my ds questions to find out what happened.

I don't think other mum has a cheek.

If a boy three years older assaulted my son (hypothetically) I'd be distinctly unchuffed.

I think go very easy on your DS...because the bf probably is a twat who is likely to hurt your DD in some way.

I doubt there is anything wrong with your DS, except he's very protective of his little sister. Your DD isn't going to tell you anything.

" I'm guessing that her boyfriend is either 14 or 15 so I pretty much doubt he found out that they had sex."

if you think children of that age are not having sex then you are deluded.

OP., I know my son really did not like his twin sister's BF once he realised they were having sex. I would not have surprised if a punch up had occurred, just lucky it didnt really.

Perhaps the BF said something inappropriate.

But yes, I would want to know what happened. There's very few things that excuse a near adult from punching a younger teen.

I'd have stuck around and tried to get to the bottom of it, not assumed the other family were animals and got all sniffy about it! Of course if someone smacked my kid in the face I wouldn't be happy, but I'm also realistic enough to know that its very unlikely to have happened without a build up of some kind first.

How old is the boyfriend? My very, very mild mannered son apparently had to be held back when some boys were making sexual remarks about his younger sister at a festival. It was very out of character and all their friends were really shocked. I'd put money on it being something like that.

or perhaps from his male perspective your son knows very well what certain boys are like about girls......perhaps he heard something about them that he did not like. Maybe there were pics. You just do not know.

Wasn't it you that posted about being worried to find your DD cuddled up
In bed with your DS without his top on ?

AdaLovelacesCat I'm sure I've seen you on other threads saying horrible things to people. I am not one bit deluded, yes I am aware of that children under the age of 16 are having sex. But the legal age is 16, so if OPs DD boyfriend is/was 16 or over and he was having sex with her it would be classed as rape as a child under the age of 16 can not consent to sex.

Really? I think first and foremost I'd want to remove my kid from the situation..and from ops side, would want DS to calm down too.

It's not your fault op - regardless of what the other mother think, you really can't control a 17 year old lashing out.

" AdaLovelacesCat I'm sure I've seen you on other threads saying horrible things to people."
I did not say anything horrible... I just said that if you think children under 16 are not having sex, then you are deluded. I am not sure why that is "horrible" tbh.

OP I've read your previous thread and it seems your DS had concerns about the boyfriend before you had met him, too mature for DD, more ready for a serious relationship. You also describe your son as a lovely, responsible boy.

I'd be telling the 17yr he had better explain it as the other boys parents could ring the police and report an assault

So I know everyone is trying to minimise what your son did but what punishment are you giving him? You can't just punch someone for being a twat, otherwise I'd spend all day doing nothing else

Maybe the boy made a joke/ comment that DS thought was inappropriate? It does sound like a really strange and awkward situation for you OP

OP I hope you get answers soon

So did they have sex then? Or bf was bragging they had?
I don't think there's much doubt that sex, and your dd's reputation was the context. Siblings do lash out on that sort of occasion.
I remember finding out that my 15yo sister had lost her virginity for a bet. I was three years older and was pretty much raging for the best part of a week.
In reality, I'd be gobsmacked if it turned out that the bf hadn't been making sexualised comments or claims. Or if your ds had found out that the bf was all over another girl.
I mean really - it's hardly the elephant in the room - what else is likely to get the kid punched? A tiff about which football team they support?
Totally boggled that Ada is getting a hard time. It seems rampantly obvious.