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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Reported to police for abuse by my 17 year old daughter

145 replies

marieisme123 · 31/08/2015 19:09

Hi. I won't go into huge detail to start with, will add more if necessary. During an arguement with my 17 year old daughter she recorded me on her tablet. Her boyfriend, who she was talking to on the tablet during the arguement, phoned the police and said I was abusing her. Resulted in a visit from 2 police officers, a paramedic and a social worker. Doesn't look like the police will be taking it any further. Any thoughts / advice?

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 31/08/2015 19:12

Did she deliberately stay calm during the argument? What was it about?

TRexingInAsda · 31/08/2015 19:12

When is she 18?
Can she move out ASAP?

Surely if they recorded you, hopefully the recording would prove you weren't abusing her?

Justbatteringon · 31/08/2015 19:15

Well you must of been pretty horrible for the boyfriend to call the police?

AnyFucker · 31/08/2015 19:19

What were you saying on the recording ?

CrabbyTheCrabster · 31/08/2015 19:19

What do you expect people to say if you don't give any details about what you actually said/did? Confused

Scobberlotcher · 31/08/2015 19:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TRexingInAsda · 31/08/2015 19:26

I won't go into huge detail to start with, will add more if necessary
Translation: I intend to drip-feed.

Please don't! Could you just spit it all out now, so we get the full picture and can actually give any relevant advice/comments?

Original poster
marieisme123 · 31/08/2015 19:26

I admit it was a very heated arguement over many problems I have had with her over a long time. I don't know what i said on the recording because I didn't know she was recording me at the time and only knew when the police told me. Yes, I may have been 'pretty horrible' but does it amount to abuse. I think it was planned and instigated between her and her boyfriend to get me into trouble.

OP posts:
throwingpebbles · 31/08/2015 19:31

Well for them to have planned it you must have had some pretty "heated" moments previously as well

Scobberlotcher · 31/08/2015 19:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ImperialBlether · 31/08/2015 19:31

Well, that was a horrible thing for them to do if they did it deliberately.

When you were talking/arguing did you say things about her character? Did you say she deserved bad things to happen to her? Did you say she took after someone you dislike? Did you say she has no friends? Or were you saying "The bathroom's a mess now you've dyed your hair" or "You haven't vacuumed for six months"? The latter are factual, the former are opinions which are designed to hurt her.

Original poster
marieisme123 · 31/08/2015 19:32

I need to also add: During the arguement she said I was psychotic and needed to be sectioned. The boyfriend also reported that I was threatening to kill myself. Hence the paramedic and social worker. My daughter said I had been in a psychiatric hospital and she had to call out a doctor to mediate me. All untrue.

OP posts:
Original poster
marieisme123 · 31/08/2015 19:35

Sorry meant medicate me.

My daughter has since made a complaint to the police that they 'didn't do their job properly'. Meaning - I was arrested for abuse or carted off to the mental hospital I suppose?

OP posts:
Florriesma · 31/08/2015 19:36

Hmm, I have heard of a mother being dragged to aed for mental health assessment. She wasn't psychotic but at the end of her tether because of ds drug dealing. Some of them do seem to have the idea that they should not be challenged and anyone who does has a problem. If this is the case then I agree with dd going self sufficient when it's feasible. Alternatively you could use the incident as trigger to get in whatever help is available?

Scobberlotcher · 31/08/2015 19:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Florriesma · 31/08/2015 19:37

And if she's complained to the police as you say she has just made herself look like a crank!

ImperialBlether · 31/08/2015 19:38

Is her boyfriend usually bad for her? It seems as though he's encouraging her. How long have they been together?

fastdaytears · 31/08/2015 19:38

Were there any threats?

Scobberlotcher · 31/08/2015 19:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
marieisme123 · 31/08/2015 19:39

She is now staying with her boyfriend and has told her dad that she won't come home until I receive psychiatic treatment.

OP posts:
fastdaytears · 31/08/2015 19:41

Is it a good idea for her to come home anyway?

AnyFucker · 31/08/2015 19:41

So let her stay there. It is clear that, for now at least, your relationship with her has completely broken down

Do you have other children ?

SixtyFootDoll · 31/08/2015 19:42

If there was no physical violence this will be closed as a domestic incident. No criminal offences.
It will probably be referred to social services as your daughter is under 18, but I can't see them doing much, maybe a phone call or a visit.

Your daughter sounds pretty horrible.

Nonnainglese · 31/08/2015 19:43

Nice daughter you've got Hmm
If my dd set up something like that I'd have gone ballistic, then told her to leave Hmm

JeffsanArsehole · 31/08/2015 19:44

Leave her at her boyfriends and don't talk to her.

It's pretty clear that she's a manipulative little arsehole that is better off moved out.

If you must contact her keep it to texts. If the police and SS are taking no action then obviously you did nothing wrong.