Im 18, have fallen pregnant. I dont know what the right decision is, can anyone help?

[lucyw19]

I 18, i dont know what to do, HELP!!!

Its up to you really! no one cn make that decision for you we can try and help though!

How many weeks pregnant are you?

As people keep saying, its up to me. But tbh im not the best at making decisions in easy situations let alone serious ones.
My bf wants me to keep it i know, but my parents will go mad.
If i decide to have it i feel i wont have choices to go back into education etc.

Moneys also a worry, my minds all over the place.

wb x

im about 5 now i think, i no time is precious in these situations. =/

do you have a partner? does he know?

You will beable to go back into eductaion, there are people who can help you with that.

Your parents TBH don't get a choice if you want to keep it then do whatever they may say.

Money can be sorted you will get benifits if you have a low or non existant income.

What do you want to do?

Education can be arranged round a baby (harder work but not impossible)

Do you want to be a mother atm?

Is there someone that you cabn talk to about your feelings face to face?

Yeah i have partner, but because he wants it, he cant see why im upset.

How long have you known, Lucy? Give yourself time to get used to the idea of being pregnant - you don't have to rush into any decisions yet. Do you have someone you can talk to? When your mind has settled a bit, try making a list of your thoughts for and against. No one can tell you what is the right decision for you but yourself but there are a lot of people here who will help you and talk with you, if that's what you want. Take care. xx

if you have the bay you put your education/career on hold temporarily. Sadly niether route will be easy, do you have a gut feeling about what you should do? deep down do you know you do or do not want it?

5 months or 5 weeks?

Thats the thing, i havent told loads of ppl because i only found out last week and tbh i havent got a close enough friend. I havent got anyone i can talk to about exactly how i feel, the ppl i have told have been happy and think i should keep it, i do in a way agree but at the same time i have doughts but they dont want to talk about them.

My parnter has said education is possible but it is harder as u say and i dont wnat my baby to loose out on things because i havent got the money.

The doctor was really nice and assumed i wanted it and was happy, and im not disputing that im not excited, of course i am. But it will chnage my life.

wb x

Don't go ahead and have the baby just because your partner wants it. Sorry to sound harsh, but he could up & leave at any point & you will be left "holding the baby". Have it only because you are sure YOU want it. You don't have to have it for anyone else but you.

Sorry, cross-threaded before. It's early days yet, Lucy. You need time to get used to what's happening. Your parents may well be shocked and upset at first but I'm sure they love and respect you enough to accept any decision you and your boyfriend make.

Ive know a week, and because my doctor said it wouldbe hard for me to concieve when i went for tests, i assumed it wouldnt happen for a while, when trying.

Then 3 weeks later, im pregnant. It was a shock.

Im 5 weeks pregnant.

Its a scary time for you but there is no need to worry about not being able to go back into education if you have the baby, I am a single mum of 2 under the age of 2 and I'm starting a law degree in February and I'm 26, its going to be tough I know but it is something I want to do. There will be lots of help available to you whatever path you choose xx

Lucy its your baby, not your parents' baby. I can imagine it would be very hard if you know they will be upset, but imagine how upset you will be if you abort it because of other people's opinions. You will get good support on here, you will get benefits, you can go back into education...and you will be a Mummy, which is a wonderful thing, even if the timing is not perfect. I agree that you need to find someone who you chat to in person.

right, think about you three months ago, what were you doing?
what were your plans?
were you happy enough to stay with your partner for years maybe rest of your life?
If he said "I want us to have a baby! lets start trying, how would you have felt?

how long are you with your partner? and how old is he?

I found myself in the same position. Didn't know what to do, everyone except dp told me to have a termination, in the end I decided what I wanted was to keep it. My parents went crazy, practically kicked me out, I had to leave college, me and dp had many years of hardship, but now 8 years down the line, we are happy, my parents adore ds, I am doing a degree.
I don't know if I made the right decision, don't think there is a right decision in such situations, you just have to look inside yourself and do what you want, eventually everyone around you will accept the decision you have made and life will go on.

Yeah, one of my friends said that its my decision because yeah ur partner may want it but its easy for them to leave rather than the mother has a bigger responsibility.

lucy everyone feels daunted when they find out they are pregnant

Having a baby doesn't prevent you furthering your education, it simply delays it by a year or 2.

Your parents may go mad. They may not. They were, after all, young once. No, they may not be happy because I doubt it's what a parent wants for their child but I know I'd support my daughter should she find herself in this situation (although she's only 7 months old right now...)

How old is your partner? It's good that he's supportive insofar as he's not horrified and hasn't run off at 100mph. He does need to understand why you might be upset about it though so you need to sit down and tell him what makes you upset/scared/whatever. This might help get things straighter in your head too. Try to think of positives as well as negatives and ways to get round any potential problems associated with keeping the baby.

You do need to make an appointment to see your doctor. Should you decide to have a termination you need to get the ball rolling as soon as possible. You can, of couse back out at any time you wish.

I think it's the fathers decision to, after all it's his baby as well he helped create it.

Chocolate mummy.

3 months ago, me and my partner had just got back together, we were together for 2 yrs then broke up for a yr, i knew i loved him the whole time. we just need the time apart because we were young.

I was planning to apply to do a midwifery course at univercity nxt september, and yes be with my partner.

I ahd thoguth about a baby but it had come up because i had tests to see if i could or couldnt have children.